It’s been a while since I posted a blog post. I wonder constantly if I have anything of importance to say. I wonder if my writing is even literate enough (I did fail English after all). I just wonder if anyone cares. There are so very many voices out there. Do we really need another one? I’m not fishing for anything by the way.
I do get asked why I put all my flaws out there in my blog and on FB. It’s simple really. I want to help one person not feel alone.
Growing up I dealt with very low esteem, manic and depression as well as OCD. None of which was ever diagnosed until much later in my life. I was left to figure it out on my own. And I, quite honestly, did not figure it out well. I beat myself up constantly. You are a loser. You are lazy and pathetic. You are ugly and can’t even take care of yourself. Get it together you slacker. Self-hatred didn’t begin to cover it.
There weren’t books or the internet. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was thought to be quirky but not in a fun way. I lived with obsessive thoughts for years that prevented me from enjoying much of anything. I lived in a constant state of anxiety for decades. And the worst part was I thought it was just me. I was somehow the only person ever damaged. I was terribly alone.
When I stared this blog I had no idea what it should be. I was still lost. But it gave me a voice that I could use. I could barely write back in the beginning. I have changed directions many times. I do get feedback and people from all over the world who have read my words. I don’t have many followers but I have few and that’s more than enough.
I just want with my whole heart and soul to reach that person who is sitting alone, lonely and scared. I want them to know that they are NOT alone. The things they are going through are not because of laziness or having no value. I want to scream there is help and you can get better! One person needs to hear that and I want to be the one to let them know. It’s ok.
That’s why I write this. But so many people are doing the same thing in video format. That’s a lot easier to comprehend. I’m thinking my “mission” has come to an end in this antiquated format.
I have enjoyed my time writing. It has helped me in a million ways. I could not have gotten through the dark years without it. I thank each and every person who ever read a word I wrote. It means the world to me. I’ve been touched by such lovely words from friends and people I’ve never met.
As I leave, possibly for the last time, please know that if you are struggling there are people who can help. Mental issues are nothing to be ashamed of. There is help. If you do not find what works, keep looking. Please don’t give up. Your life is to precious. Stay strong even if you don’t want to. It can get better!
Thank you again all!! Have the most blessed 2023 ever!