The past few days I have been waiting patiently by the phone for a call about a job I wanted.  I waited and I waited, but no call came.  Then this morning I received the “thank you but no thank you” email.  I didn’t get the job.  I had two interviews that I thought went perfectly.  I was charming and witty, or so I thought.  But, apparently, it was not enough.  

I’m very disappointed and can add this experience to my rather long list of things that did not work out the way I had planned.  I was so disappointed that I replied to the email and asked, point blank, what I had done wrong.  I really wasn’t expecting a reply.  I just wanted to say something. 

But I got a reply back stating that the notes from my interviews were very positive and not to be discouraged.  They also pointed me in the direction of other open positions that might be a better fit.  

Quite a while ago I wrote a blog post about all the mistakes and failures I have made in my life.  There have been many!  As I wrote that post, I realized that those outwardly failures were actually blessings in disguise.  I learned more from stumbling and falling than I ever would have if it had all just gone my way.  This morning I realized the same is true of disappointment.  Normally, I would have been upset and cried but this time I am looking at what my next step is.  What do I do now? 

I know, in the past, if things had gone my way that I would have gone down the wrong path.  Maybe that is what would have happened if I had gotten that job I thought I wanted.  Maybe it was the wrong path and now I’m free to go down the correct one. Truthfully, I wish it was easier to know but that takes the mystery out of all of it.

So instead of being upset, I am going to explore other options within the same company and outside it.  I was so certain that I was getting this position that I may have missed a few good ones.

I  feel like I finally learned an epic lesson.  When something doesn’t happen the way you thought it might, it’s not the end of the world.  No.  It’s really a chance to broaden your horizons and look beyond the circumstances to see a much bigger picture!  I’m so excited that my epic journey is finally teaching me real life lessons.  I’m beginning to see the world differently.

Disappointment is going to happen.  I might as well come to terms with it and embrace it.  

I was just scrolling the MSN homepage.  This is what I saw:

A school shooting, 17 dead.  A six year old boy abused and killed by his older brother.  A teenager stabbed and beaten to death by a man and his girlfriend.   A preschool teacher accused of abuse during nap time.   A young child abused, torchured and killed.  Aid agencies accused of abuse.  A young woman sold into modern day slavery (human trafficking).

That’s just part of the feed for this morning.  First, let me say how sad I am for these victims and their families. I cannot even begin to understand their pain and loss.  I’m mad for them.  I generally try to stay away from these types of subjects.  There are enough opinions out there to go around, but I wanted to say something.  

The media is screaming that guns kill.  From the Internet feed, so do knives and blunt instruments.  How many lives are lost to someone’s bare hands?  I know a person who was almost killed by a tow chain.  Lest not forget how many people die from hit and run accidents or other forms of vehicular incidents.

I am in no way advocating guns or no guns, knives or no knives, cars or no cars.  Seems to me these issues come down to the same common denominator…human beings.  A human has to choose to pull the trigger or grab a knife.  A human decides to kidnap, enslave or kill.  A human chooses to buy a child for unspeakable acts.  Choices were made in every one of these scenarios by a human being.  

We can outlaw guns as well as butter knives and all variety of blunt objects.  But the core problem, in my uneducated opinion, is what can we do about the deprivation of the human spirit.  What has happened to our world that genocide is a sideline on the news.  Why are people so much more violent today?  What has happened to brotherly love?

Just the other day, Mike and I were out for a drive through a park when this menacing truck speeds up behind us. Mike sped up since it was a no passing area but no matter the speed it wasn’t fast enough. When we finally got to a passing location Mike flagged the truck to go past.  The truck passed alright but not before almost running our car off the road.  The driver literally was inches from hitting us and possibly pushing us down a steep hill.  I understand that is not the same as these horrific crimes.  But I can tell you that random type of aggression is very scary.  It seemingly came out of nowhere.  Was it the trucks fault?  No, the driver was the one with intent in their heart.  What can be done about the human condition?

I do not have an answer. I find myself retreating more and more.  I always search for ways to better myself.  I try to be encouraging and positive.  I try to learn from my mistakes.  That’s all fine and good. What do we, as a society, do about those with aggression in their hearts? Do you wake up one morning and decide to hurt someone or is the thought always there in the back of your mind?  

I understand the father who tried to hurt the doctor that abused his daughters.  His thought process was probably the same as another parent in that situation. I cannot understand how someone can hurt a child or another human being?  That thought process is beyond me. 

So, society, what do we do?  How does the human factor/problem get fixed?  I wish everyday that I had an answer. I used to think it was enough to try to make my piece of the world better. But now I see life is like an oil spill. You start out with lots of clean water, then slowly the oil starts to foul some of the water and you think you can keep up.  Then the spill rapidly starts to grow and you realize the oil is going to contaminate all the water and there is no stopping it.  The violence has ramped up.  Even non-violent demonstrations seem to end in violence.

Dare I say this is what happens when humans turn their back on God and His moral compass?  The more ungodly society gets, the more anger and aggression rears it’s ugly head.  Religion has failed society also.  Not God, but religion.  So humans turned to other forms of comfort and instruction.  Those ended up being much more fun anyway.  Bar stools and crack spoons became the new alter in which to worship.  Gluttony, sloth and greed became the new gods to worship.  And the oil spill continues with no resolution in sight.

I’m sorry this isn’t my normal post, but I think we all have to look at the human aspect of these problems not the instruments used, but the human choices that are made. What can be done about that?  I don’t know.  I wish I did.