Month: August 2019

Yes, Patience is Still a Virtue by Lois Hewitt

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and before you can finish the answer, they have either asked another question or rudely just walked away. You asked me the question and now you don’t have the half a minute it takes to listen to the answer, that blows my mind.

The other day, Mike went to the grocery store for me while I was sick (again). He came home with two boxes of crackers, the kinds we don’t eat and a bag of cookies that look, frankly, inedible. I inquired to why he made such purchases. He replied that he did not pick them out.

Then he remembered that the person behind him at the check out was in such a hurry they started putting their items on the conveyor belt before there was room. Their items must have fallen over the divider onto our items. The person also proceeded to ram into Mike twice with their cart.

They must have thought that would somehow save them some precious moments in their day. But it didn’t and they almost got a karate chop to the throat for being so annoying.

What are the tailgaters thinking? Man, am I making time by being right on this person’s bumper with no room for an unexpected situation. I’m saving time while I put myself and others at risk. Many have forgotten just how dangerous automobiles are. They are made of steel and glass not cotton balls and marshmallows. When they crash, it is a very serious situation.

Just now on the way home from work, a car in front of me was turning left and the oncoming traffic was stopped. A car motioned for the car in front of me to go through. Apparently, the car in front of me did not go fast enough because the other driver starts swearing out the window. So much for doing a good deed.

We all have stories about these obviously super important people who do not have enough time in their day to obey laws or be civil. Many people do not even have the time to stop and tell a fellow human being thank you in a situation that calls for it. Ever hold the door for a person and they don’t even acknowledge the act. Sure, it’s not a big act but it deserves some courtesy. Imagine walking out the same door and not holding it. Can you imagine the indignant attitude that person would have for your rudeness. Happens every day.

I realize that Mayberry RFD is a thing of the past. I realize “the good old days” had their share of darkness but today our society pains me so badly. Luckily, I cannot find a way to support myself from home. Because if I could, I would never leave the fear and anxiety would grip me.

I feel the disrespect and lack of civility in general, literally, scares me. The idea that a person cannot spend an extra minute or two to let the person in front of them move, pains me. The fact that basic manners are becoming lost today only means to me that our society is degrading at an extremely high rate.

Without respect for life itself and the laws that bind a society together, it will just turn into lawlessness, thugs and chaos.

We live in a microwave world, where waiting for a minute to heat dinner is too long. We need instant gratification faster than instantly. Our storehouse of patience is dwindling faster and faster every day. Anger and distress are replacing the good things in life.

Taking a Sunday drive to nowhere is no longer fun. Going to a public event now comes with the threat that something bad could happen at any given time. No more friendly exchanges at the grocery store or post office.

Normally I try to stay positive but if people don’t start to change, our future looks grim. That truly scares me. Today I’m scared, hopefully tomorrow will be a more patient day for all of us. Patience is still a virtue and is part of what makes humans human and not animals.


To You, My Dearest by Lois Hewitt

In a few days, my husband and I will be celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe we have been together so long. I don’t speak much of my husband in this blog, only because I respect his privacy and he is not the kind of man one speaks for. My mind reels from all we have been through. Here’s to you my Dearest.

We have been through the gambit. Some rich, mostly poor. Some health, but a lot of sickness. We have shared utter joy and almost complete sadness. We have watched loved ones pass away from us. We have shared mountain top highs.

We tried for children, cried when it never happened and embraced the outcome. The toughest roads in life were somewhat smoother because we experienced them as a team.

You have made me the maddest I have ever been as well as the happiest I have ever been. You rocked me during panic attacks and asthma attacks. You have put up with various degrees of my OCD. You never talked down to me…. Except that one time you said I was as dumb as a box of rocks. But I always knew you didn’t mean it.

You have been my biggest cheerleader allowing me to take crazy chances on schemes that mostly did not pan out. You supported my education. You supported my faith even though it is not your faith.

Any question I ask, no matter how dumb, you answered with the most thought out answer you know.

You have always done your best to provide for me, even in the last few years when our life was somewhat fluid. You made sure I had a roof over my head and food in front of me.

I go to you for advice because I trust you with my life. Sometimes you deliver advice unsolicited, but I still always listen.

We have lived through some very dark days and nights. But we held onto each other for dear life because that’s what you do when you are committed to each other.

It’s been quite a ride. I’m looking forward to what comes next. You are truly my best friend, my confidant and the person who absolutely makes me laugh even when I don’t want to.

Here’s to you, my Love. Thank you for always being there for me. You are such a gift to me. May our love continue another 29 years and beyond.

By the way, there is no money in the budget for a gift…. So consider this your gift. Lol

A Return to Elegance by Lois Hewitt

I did not think life would ever be better than it was in the 1990s. My favorite fashions were now in style, flannel shirts, ripped jeans, work boots. I was finally in style. My fashion credo has always revolved around comfort. Nothing is more comfortable to me than an old flannel shirt.

As I am getting older, things are changing for me. I’m enjoying old black and white movies. Listening to Sinatra instead of Nirvana. A suit and tie looks better to me than grunge. I don’t even swear as much (except when I’m driving). I think I’m craving a return to a more elegant time.

There is a civility component from the days past that is missing today. I’m not saying that everything was perfect in the “old days.” They had their problems, but manners and respect were symbols of the time.

I never called my parents friends by their first name. I doubt I would today if I saw one of them. Holding doors, being polite, saying thank you and you are welcome were the norm. I love that level of decorum.

Growing up I was a loud, foul mouthed youth. I was not always respectful. I taught myself over the years how to act by watching others. I still have a ways to go but I’m on the right path to civility.

I think those basic behaviors are what make the difference between order and chaos. We, as a society, have forgotten or never learned the importance of showing respect to others, of minding our manners and generally being civil to each other.

You hear so many people say how they hate dealing with people. I, too, have mentioned on occasion that life would be easier without so many humans. We have, over the years, locked ourselves away from human interaction because it’s just so much easier to live. It’s easier to avoid the utter rudeness and disrespect you encounter in the real world. So many of us have created our own virtual world behind closed doors and drawn shades.

My own experience shows that the more I’m alone, the less manners I need. The less interactions I have, the less I act with elegance. But that’s not how I want to live my life anymore. I want to be elegant. I want to be graceful in action and deed.

As I have always talked about in this blog, change can come in small ways. I don’t know that not wearing flannel will make much difference, but being more cognizant in action is a way of reconnecting with my fellow human beings, which in turn can create positive change.

Today, my call is of elegance. To being more in the moment and lighting the way whenever possible.