Yes, I have been day drinking…alone. And I like it. It was a lovely day, talked with a friend I had not heard from in a while. Cooked and cleaned a bit. It was very nice.
Last night was a different story. I was mad and upset as I had a trying week. I was tired, low of energy, achy, and a little depressed. Now I REALLY hate to say that because, as I’ve said a hundred times, I’m truly blessed.
But guess what? Even the truly blessed have bad days or weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve been through the fire and I was lucky enough to come out the other side. When that happens, you are ALWAYS grateful for the better times.
When a bad day comes, you try to stay upbeat because you know just how bad it can get. People pass away, illness strikes, life changes in a second. So a bad day doesn’t seem so bad, so you get over it.
But sometimes the hurt is a little deeper than you expected. Some times it adds up over time. Sometimes you feel bad and it just doesn’t go away. Fake smiles don’t chase the gloom away. Faking it until you are making it doesn’t always work.
You know what…sometimes you just have to admit that all the small slights do add up and they sting.
I realized today that it’s ok to not be fine. It’s ok to feel like you are pouring it all out and some of it gets stepped on. Not every day is perfect.
I can say that and not necessarily be complaining. It is a fact of life that you do get kicked every so often. Feeling hurt does not deminish the blessings. It is just a reality.
So I’m going to feel sad for a little longer, until this beer is consumed. My eyes are welling up but it’s ok. I’m going to pull myself up tomorrow but for tonight I’m going to be honest with myself and enjoy my Michelob Ultra induced pity party.
I’m still blessed and so very grateful for my life. Today I hurt but tomorrow should be better.