Month: May 2019

Results of Day Drinking by Lois Hewitt

Yes, I have been day drinking…alone. And I like it. It was a lovely day, talked with a friend I had not heard from in a while. Cooked and cleaned a bit. It was very nice.

Last night was a different story. I was mad and upset as I had a trying week. I was tired, low of energy, achy, and a little depressed. Now I REALLY hate to say that because, as I’ve said a hundred times, I’m truly blessed.

But guess what? Even the truly blessed have bad days or weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve been through the fire and I was lucky enough to come out the other side. When that happens, you are ALWAYS grateful for the better times.

When a bad day comes, you try to stay upbeat because you know just how bad it can get. People pass away, illness strikes, life changes in a second. So a bad day doesn’t seem so bad, so you get over it.

But sometimes the hurt is a little deeper than you expected. Some times it adds up over time. Sometimes you feel bad and it just doesn’t go away. Fake smiles don’t chase the gloom away. Faking it until you are making it doesn’t always work.

You know what…sometimes you just have to admit that all the small slights do add up and they sting.

I realized today that it’s ok to not be fine. It’s ok to feel like you are pouring it all out and some of it gets stepped on. Not every day is perfect.

I can say that and not necessarily be complaining. It is a fact of life that you do get kicked every so often. Feeling hurt does not deminish the blessings. It is just a reality.

So I’m going to feel sad for a little longer, until this beer is consumed. My eyes are welling up but it’s ok. I’m going to pull myself up tomorrow but for tonight I’m going to be honest with myself and enjoy my Michelob Ultra induced pity party.

I’m still blessed and so very grateful for my life. Today I hurt but tomorrow should be better.

Advertisements

The Art of Laughter by Lois Hewitt

Life is just not as fun without laughter. In fact, it gets downright serious if we forget to laugh.

I go through stages in life where I’m silly and lighthearted. During those times I am able to take to the ups and downs in life fairly easy. Then something changes…I do not even know what triggers it, and I get real serious.

During those serious times, sleep is difficult. My body experiences more pains. It is usually when I get sick. Life, no matter how good it is, feels bleak and hopeless. It strains my marriage as well as my body. Everything is affected.

Then one day out of nowhere, it comes back. For example, I have been overly concerned about work lately. I began to feel out of control in that I lost my ability to connect with people. My tours were not as fun and I felt like I had to start worrying about what was happening. The more I worried, the less fun I was. The less fun I was, the less my guests enjoyed themselves.

When I’m stressed, I seriously only want to sleep…and binge eat when I’m awake. Nothing can get me to laugh when I’m in that mood.

The other day, I was exhausted and could not bear to even cook dinner. I simply sat down with tears in my eyes. I was beating myself up because I should be happy and all I’m doing is worrying. Then Mike came home, he said something crazy, like he always does, and I started laughing. We proceeded to laugh and giggle most of the night.

I felt physically better as well as mentally. Then last night we visited a local brewery and just talked about fun things, not about the crazy drivers or the rude people in the grocery store. We talked about some of our crazy times and we laughed.

I don’t know why or how I forget to laugh but it is during those times I am the saddest. I know there are times that are so trying and difficult that laughter seems a world away.

I think sometimes we think of laughter as a frivolous activity. That is just not true. During one of the absolutely hardest times in my life, I still found humor in things. In retrospect, that is what brought me in off the ledge, figuratively speaking.

What is one of the best sounds in the world? A child’s laugh. It’s real and it’s hearty. You can’t help but smile.

Laughter should be considered as important as air and food. Without laughter, life can lack meaning as well as perspective.

I’m going to laugh more. Luckily, I do not work in an environment that is life or death. I have that leeway to enjoy what I am doing. Plus when you smile, smiles become contagious.

This is all said with the knowledge that sometimes we absolutely need to get serious, but maybe not all the time. An honest belly laugh is nourishment to ones soul. Our souls need looking after just like our bodies do.

Here’s to a good old fashioned good natured laugh. May it change your outlook! 😃