Hello and welcome to my new and improved blog. I have struggled for some time with what I want this blog to be like. I have tried several things but nothing seemed organic. My life, like this blog, became very strained and unauthentic. I know I needed a change.
I do not mean that in a new age kind of way. This blog is not intended to be a place to whine and complain, for I have been very blessed. But a person can be blessed and still not feel as if the life being lived is authentic.
The person I see reflected in the bathroom mirror is a stranger to me. I barely know her. I feel a strong need to reconnect with her and find a center that has been missing for quite some time. I have tried ways to do that that were less radical but nothing has seemed to work. One day the idea of an extended solitary road trip popped into my head and I thought it might be the answer. A sojourn of sorts to find balance.
I thought about and planned the trip in the privacy of my head for fear of being ridiculed for such an odd idea. I realize that vacations are good things, much needed respites from the daily grinds, but this journey is more than a vacation. This is not about going to a resort or on a cruise for a week and then back to grind. This is about paring down all the things I think I need to live and keeping only the essentials. It is about living for an extended amount of time in my vehicle and experiencing the outside world stripped of my normal safety nets.
Having lived most of this life in fear, I plan to put myself “out there” and talk with people, experience things I normally would not experience and use the time to search the authentic me for the right path to be on. I have no trust funds, 401(k) plans to borrow from or any unlimited well of money. This trip is going to be about using the resources I have, finding affordable alternatives and being open to all the possibilities.
I have never really been open to life, I have preferred to stay in the shadows watching life unfold from afar. I realize now that was a choice I made. For many years, I thought it was something thrust upon me for which I had no choice. I was wrong. I am now leaving the shadows, which is very scary, to feel the light and breeze on my face alone for six weeks. During which time I hope to figure out some things, come terms with issues and generally change my life (details to come).
This will be a travel blog of sorts. I will be documenting my experiences, my ability to be frugal and detail the places I have seen and shout out to the people I meet. But I hope it is more than that, my next post will detail what I hope to get from this experience. I know a few people who feel trapped in a rut and have no idea how to get out. Much of my life has felt like I was stuck in a well and could not find a way to remove myself. Winning the Lotto seemed like the only way to make a change, and that is very, very unlikely to ever happen. I am not even sure this plan will work, but it feels right and I have to try it.