When I started planning this trip about ten years ago, the concept was very different.  At that time, my Mother was starting to get sick, I was working full time and had a part-time job, was taking up to 16 credit hours at a local Weekend College program, was volunteering and was forever buried in dirty laundry and dishes that never seemed to get caught up.  My vision then was very simple:  (1) Get in the car and (2) go somewhere else.  Since we were buried in debt, I never had the funding to take that particular trip to the elusive location, somewhere else.

The responsibilities kept me from going and it is just as well.  I could not have left during that time even though it was all I could think of some days.  Fast forward about ten years and I am planning to do a real trip and I am amazed at how much actual planning it takes.  I honestly thought I would throw a few things in a backpack and go.  But this trip is taking on a life of its own.

Yesterday, Mike and I started a to-do list for the next few weeks in preparation of the launch date.  We came up with six columns of things to take care of:  Car things, Food, Camping/Sleeping, Necessities/Security, Blogging Tools and the Route.  Each column has multiple tasks and items needed.  How was I so far off the mark thinking I did not need much and that I could pack the night before and be gone down the road the next day?

So much has changed in ten years.  For example, I am ten years older (now in my 50s), now I cannot eat gluten, cannot drive in the dark, I have health issues to monitor and money is still not all that readily available (this is not a plug for donations, just a statement of fact).  So ten years later, this trip is much more complicated and a little overwhelming.

But in reality this trip is much more needed now. Before I just wanted to run away, pure and simple.  I was not expecting any life changes other than I was just going to be gone.  Now, I want to actually experience the sights this country has to offer, I want to meet new people, I want to leave my comfort zone and literally change my life.  Running away would have solved nothing and would have made already stressful situations even worse.  Today, I have a chance to become a better person and maybe leave a positive mark on others.  I have already met some incredible people and I have not left home yet.  There is a lesson out there for me, I may not be able to see it right now, but I know it is out there and I plan to learn it.

Hello and welcome to my new and improved blog.  I have struggled for some time with what I want this blog to be like.  I have tried several things but nothing seemed organic.  My life, like this blog, became very strained and unauthentic. I know I needed a change.

I do not mean that in a new age kind of way.  This blog is not intended to be a place to whine and complain, for I have been very blessed.  But a person can be blessed and still not feel as if the life being lived is authentic.

The person I see reflected in the bathroom mirror is a stranger to me.  I barely know her.  I feel a strong need to reconnect with her and find a center that has been missing for quite some time. I have tried ways to do that that were less radical but nothing has seemed to work.  One day the idea of an extended solitary road trip popped into my head and I thought it might be the answer.  A sojourn of sorts to find balance.

I thought about and planned the trip in the privacy of my head for fear of being ridiculed for such an odd idea.  I realize that vacations are good things, much needed respites from the daily grinds, but this journey is more than a vacation.  This is not about going to a resort or on a cruise for a week and then back to grind.  This is about paring down all the things I think I need to live and keeping only the essentials.  It is about living for an extended amount of time in my vehicle and experiencing the outside world stripped of my normal safety nets.

Having lived most of this life in fear, I plan to put myself “out there” and talk with people, experience things I normally would not experience and use the time to search the authentic me for the right path to be on. I have no trust funds, 401(k) plans to borrow from or any unlimited well of money. This trip is going to be about using the resources I have, finding affordable alternatives and being open to all the possibilities.

I have never really been open to life, I have preferred to stay in the shadows watching life unfold from afar. I realize now that was a choice I made. For many years, I thought it was something thrust upon me for which I had no choice. I was wrong. I am now leaving the shadows, which is very scary, to feel the light and breeze on my face alone for six weeks. During which time I hope to figure out some things, come terms with issues and generally change my life (details to come).

This will be a travel blog of sorts. I will be documenting my experiences, my ability to be frugal and detail the places I have seen and shout out to the people I meet. But I hope it is more than that, my next post will detail what I hope to get from this experience. I know a few people who feel trapped in a rut and have no idea how to get out. Much of my life has felt like I was stuck in a well and could not find a way to remove myself. Winning the Lotto seemed like the only way to make a change, and that is very, very unlikely to ever happen. I am not even sure this plan will work, but it feels right and I have to try it.