Living with less

Farm Stay #1 — Near Bowling Green, Kentucky
This is not Kentucky. I misplaced my Kentucky pics, so I hope you enjoy North Carolina.

This is not Kentucky. I misplaced my Kentucky pics, so I hope you enjoy North Carolina.

Now that things are finally starting to calm down a bit, I hope to post more about our Farm / Home Stays.  As I noted in previous posts, Mike and I are basically without a permanent home and now have very few possessions.  We cannot afford to stay in hotel/motels, and we cannot seem to get an apartment without having some sort of employment (go figure, right?).  So we had to think outside the box and Mike came up with a great idea.  Farm/Home Stays.

Basically, what we are doing is volunteering a someone’s farm or home to do work (a predetermined number of hours a week) in exchange for room and meals.  We do buy some of the food as it only seems fair.  The first Farm Stay was only for a weekend, but our current one may go a few weeks.  In the meantime, Mike is contacting other people who might need help in order to line up our next stay.

We are lucky because Mike has quite a few skills that make him valuable on a farm or doing home repairs.  I, on the other hand, have spent most of my life sitting behind a desk and typing for a living.  I fear that my skills are not quite as in demand.  Luckily though, many years ago I went through my “Martha Stewart” phase so I have some homemaking skills that I can use.  But I still feel very unsure of myself.  One wants to be sure that they pull their own weight when doing a Farm / Home Stay.

Anyway, our first Farm Stay was with a lovely family just outside of Bowling Green, Kentucky.  Our Host, runs a small farm with cows, pigs, sheep, chickens, bees, dogs and cats.  She utilizes farming techniques from the 30s and 40s, which she taught herself.  Her animals are treated so well, they are actually stress-free.  They roam in beautiful green pastures (she moves them often so the land stays in good condition) and are tended to in a loving fashion.

I, like many of you, have watched the Big Farm documentaries and have some knowledge of the horrific practices some corporate farms use in order to feed people at a profit for themselves.  I used to think myself as frugal until this short Farm Stay.  They use EVERYTHING, nothing is wasted.  They have reverence for the Earth and its bounty and the Earth seems to be shining on them for their great stewardship.

I cannot begin to fathom all the things I learned in that 2 1/2 day stay.   I am still trying to come back from a really bad anemic episode, so I am still feeling weak and very low.  We talked how our food was designed to heal us but instead the processed foods we eat are doing the opposite.  I know my body has a difficult time up-taking nutrients, and the human body was not designed for that.  Everything I thought I knew about food has changed.

It is amazing how you can meet someone for a short time and they can leave such an imprint on your life.  Our host did that.  I feel so honored to have met her and her family and to have seen her farm.  Their way of life is SO different from the way Mike and I have lived in the past, but now we are open to these types of experiences.  I am generally a germaphobe by nature, but I have to step outside of any kind of comfort zone that I know in order to live in these other people’s lives.  It is a true test for me.

I envy Mike as he just jumps in, no matter what and adapts.  I am slower to adapt, but I am trying very hard to be the person who “rolls with it Baby.”  I can see now that these experiences are going to be the ones that teach me about life.  I thought the road trip was going to teach me about life and about God, but now I see it is going to be living with people who were strangers in the beginning (friends in the end) and living a life that is not mine.  That is going to change me.  That is where my knowledge will come.  I stayed insulated in my little world for so many years, now that is all gone and I have to find my way in a world that I know little about.  It is scary but actually very exciting.

We are officially a week and two days into our new life and things seem different already.  I cannot wait to write more about it as I spend some trying time trying to figure it all out.  Please stay tuned because things are going to get very real!!!!!

Thank you for listening!

Living with Too Much Stuff
I do not own this image but I am using it respectfully.

I do not own this image but I am using it respectfully.

Last Friday, Mike and I rolled out of our driveway, the same driveway I have driven up and down for 47 years, for the last time.  We have spent the last few weeks giving away, throwing away and donating most of our belongings.  We have decided to start a new journey that involves living with much less; which also means not having a house any longer.  It is a huge change from what we are used to.

Our first stop was a farmstay in Bowling Green, Kentucky (a really great place – I will write a post about our stay).  I knew by the time we got there that we had brought too much stuff. The back of Devi was full and we even had to leave some things behind because there was no room left in the car.  Luckily our host was getting ready to donate some clothes to a local charity and we asked if we could donate some things also.

The point is not what great people we are for donating stuff, the point is actually that we realized on the second day of our new life that we still had stuff we could live without.  I began thinking why I had to have these few items and I could not remember for the life of me what I was thinking.  So we have decided to pare down even more.

Now I am looking at the stuff I still have and I am wondering what I can part with.  Do I really need four mini-sewing kits?  Probably not seeing as I do not know how to sew.  Do I need my set of 3 lb. weights for working out my arms?  Probably not, since they have so much dust on them from non-use, they made me sneeze.  Journals, I have several and I usually write everything on-line.  They sit in a box just waiting for me to hand-write things again.  I see now that I can actually get rid of more stuff.

So this new journey involves a conscious effort to live with less stuff.  I dreamed it would be easier than it is, but as with any learning experience, it hurts but it will be worth it in the long run.

Phase Two: Fresh Starts and New Beginnings in North Carolina
I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Many things have changed since coming back from my journey.  Since everything was in flux, I was not really able to discuss the changes, but now I can.  This is actually Phase 2 of my Epic Journey.  The first part was the trip itself.  While I was actually doing the trip, I felt it was yet another of my failures, but in retrospect, it has actually prepared me for this new phase.  I learned things that I did not realize until later and the difficult experiences made me realize that I am not quite as soft as I thought I was.

Over the past few weeks, Mike and I have been cleaning out our belongings.  Getting rid of anything that is non-essential.  We had decided to live our lives more consciously and without a lot of physical entanglements.  I have lived in this same house for about 48 years and it has accumulated much stuff.  Getting rid of the stuff has proved to be much more difficult than I had ever imagined.  It is not so much the getting rid of it, but finding a home for the stuff when everyone is buried under their own stuff and just the sheer volume of things to get rid of has been quite a hurdle.  I decided a while ago that I was tired of the stuff owning me and now I am finally getting to a point where that will not be the case any longer.  If it does not fit in Devi, it does not go with us.

At the end of this week, we will be starting a completely new life.  We are going to be leaving this home and our home state for a new location in North Carolina.  During this entire process, Mike and I have talked and talked about everything and what we feel we need at this point in our lives.  Years of being one lost paycheck away from disaster has taken its toll, stress has made us sick and it seems we may have actually forgotten how to live.

Part of Phase One was to try a farmstay out in Oregon, but due to unforeseen situations, that never came to pass.  We decided that we would give the farmstay idea another try in North Carolina.  The idea is to connect, through an organization called Help Exchange, volunteers (that would be us) with people who are in need of assistance either on their farms or teaching facilities.  Tasks are detailed and volunteers are usually give room and board in exchange for the jobs they will do.  It is a great symbiotic working relationship because the people in need receive the assistance they desire and the volunteers are given the opportunity to give back while having a roof over their heads.  These stays can be short-term or long-term, it all depends on what is needed.

We actually have a couple of exciting stays lined up for the next few months.  There are about ten opportunities just in the location we are looking at, so the opportunities seem good for now.  We will be nomadic for the next few months; if we like the options, we may stay that way indefinitely.

As the blog starts the next phase, it will still be about self-discovery but now it will also be about something more than just me.  We will be meeting people who are living outside the box and who will, hopefully, teach us how to do the same.  My eyes are going to be opened to new ways of life that I never even imagined before.  The plan is to live lighter, live healthier and to live simpler.

Leaving everything we know and leaving my ultimate comfort zone is proving to be a challenge.  But I could sit in the same place for the rest of my life and play it safe like I have done for so long.  I could watch myself get more and more depressed because my fears and doubts would be running my life or I can step outside and start living.  It is time to start living and helping others.  I wanted my Epic Journey to give me answers to how to live my life, it seemed to only give me more questions, but now I see that when asked the right questions, the answers start to fall into place.

I wanted to thank everyone again who supported my trip.  It was life changing and I could never have done it without your support.  I hope you will stay tuned to find out about this new adventure.  We should be on our first short farmstay by the weekend.  I am looking forward to it (I am scared to death) and I hope you will walk this new path with me.  Thank you for listening.

Pursuing Happiness
I do not own this image but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Foreword:  Before I start, please let me explain that I am not complaining in this post.  I am simply stating a fact that I have found happiness to be a somewhat elusive beast in my life. I will not give up looking for it though.

I just want to be happy.  I do not expect to be “over the moon” every day of my life but I would like to have more happy days than sad.  It is a pursuit that I have been chasing for years.

I tried being a slacker and I tried being an overachiever.  I tried buying everything I could find to fill the void and I tried owning nothing.  I tried being single and being married.  I tried being “Suzy Homemaker” and I tried being all business.  I tried higher education and I tried lower expectations.  I tried selling adult toys and I tried selling Christian books.

I tried being an art snob, reading books way over my comprehension level, feminism, and politics.  I tried being an Earth Mother and being concerned about the environment.  I almost tried raising chickens, but I am not good with poop of any kind, so that did not work.  I went to one cooking class, one bellydance class, one yoga class, one Martial Arts class, and one craft class.  I have owned businesses and closed businesses (I mean my own not someone else’s).

I drank a lot of alcohol and gave it up.  I smoked cigarettes and gave them up.  I swore like a sailor, okay I still do that.  I exercised but never stuck with it.  I took prescription meds and I stopped taking them.  I rode a motorcycle, drove a Jeep and went soaring.  I recently tried travel as a way to escape and found I was wrong about that too.

Well, you get the point.  Finding your true authentic self is very hard work.  I have bumbled down many a dead end street just looking for myself.  It should not be this hard.  I often wonder if other people have this problem.  Does it show that I cannot “stick” with anything or am I just not right in “my skin” yet?

I do understand the difference between happiness and joy.  Happiness is situational and joy is something you feel all the time no matter what you are going through.  So in reality I am truly seeking joy because you cannot count on situations or other people to make you happy.  It has come from within.  I just wish I could find a comfortable place in which to experience joy.  Then again, maybe that is the point of it.  If you find it, what is there to look for after that?  Maybe pursuing it is the important part.  I just do not know.  I want to know but I must be too stupid to figure it out.

I guess in the meantime, I will wake up in the morning (God willing), pray about it and go about trying to be a better person.  I guess I will keep trying things, experimenting and searching.  There must be a reason our forefathers mentioned the “pursuit of happiness” rather than a right to be happy.  Today starts a new day, a new season (it is the first official day of Fall), and new to-do lists designed to help me find my true self.  Instead of trying so hard to find happiness, maybe I will try to start enjoying the journey to happiness.  Easier said than done, I know, but I have to try.

Today’s To Do List for a Better Me
I compiled a list of things I need to do today and everyday in order to find inner peace.

I compiled a list of things I need to do today and everyday in order to find inner peace.

During my journey I was hoping to find some peace in my life.  I thought getting away from the stresses of everyday life and living on the road would provide the answer I was looking for.  I found many things on the road but peace, unfortunately, was not one of them.  I came home very disappointed with that aspect of the trip (all the other aspects of the trip were wonderful).  Then I realized that I need to look inside myself first, I need to lose the drama that surrounds everyday life, I need to think of others first, I need to pray and be thankful for all things, good or bad.

Running away from problems or situations is never the answer for they just follow you wherever you go.  You may be able to outrun them for a time, but they always catch up with you.  I may not have found actual peace on the road, but I did figure out a way to have more of it in my life.  I am going to try to practice this to do list everyday  along with living a more simple lifestyle and maybe, just maybe, I will experience the inner peace I so desperately seek.

Dubuque, Iowa – My First Attempt at Car Camping

A large part of my Epic Journey was to do the trip spending as little money as possible, learning to live with less and going without a lot of extra comforts.  Car camping seemed to be my best solution as I am not much of a tent camper.  My first attempt at camping, many years ago, did not go well and I ended up sleeping in the car rather than a tent, so I naturally figured I could drive across country sleeping in my car.

The Dubuque City Park had a lovely veteran memorial.

The Dubuque City Park had a lovely veteran memorial.

It was an interesting concept, although not very well thought through.  But Devi was my home during this trip and I did sleep in her several times.  The original concept was to have an air mattress in the back and sleep on that, but I ended up bringing too much stuff and could not do that.  In Dubuque, I slept in the front seat and that proved rather crampy.  After that I would clean out the back seat and sleep there.  That worked a little better.

In future adventures, I will have to re-think the entire car camping process and come up with a little bit better way to do it.  I still feel it is a viable way to camp, it is a lot less expensive than motel/hotels but to just think you can curl up and go to sleep in your car every night, without a plan, is not very smart (no one ever said I was smart when it came to camping).

During the first night of car camping, I stayed in the Dubuque, Iowa, City Park.  It was actually a lovely site right by a river.  I watched barges go up and down the river and heard the strangely comforting sounds of trains passing by in the distance.  The cost was perfect at $12.00 per night and I felt completely safe there.  I would definitely stay there again as it was a truly lovely location.

This was the view from my campsite.

This was the view from my campsite.

One of the many barges that I watched float on by.

One of the many barges that I watched float on by.

The park was extremely well taken care of.

The park was extremely well taken care of.

Preparing Devi for what turned out to be a long night of tossing and turning.

Preparing Devi for what turned out to be a long night of tossing and turning.

A beautiful sunset in Iowa.

A beautiful sunset in Iowa.

An artistic view of the bridge as I left the next morning.

An artistic view of the bridge as I left the next morning.

On the road again to the next adventure.

On the road again to the next adventure.

Live Simply – Live Elegantly – Live Truthfully
I do not own this image, nor did I create it. I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image, nor did I create it. I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Living simply….is that even possible in today’s complicated world?  I think so, but it takes a lot of work and forethought.  Part of my Epic Journey includes downsizing and learning to live simply.  We are in the process of trying to get out from under our house payment and find something smaller.  Like so many people we know, Mike and I have spent years working for the house, the stuff in the house and other stuff in general.  We have worked for years for stuff that, as of right now, we can barely give away.

The things that were important even a few years ago, do not seem important at all now.  We both want to work less, create more, give back and pay forward, enjoy life a bit and live with a lot less.  As I am cleaning out, so much of the “stuff” is dust laden because it has not been used in a very long time, if ever.  I am sad for all the money spent on those things, it could have been put to much better use than it was.

I have just about six weeks to clear out 50 years worth of stuff and downsize to a manageable level.  I am finding the task rather daunting.  Until the next trip, this will be my life.  I am not sure if anyone is interested in an ex-shopaholic (I had serious shopping issues for a long time) turning into live-with-less girl.  I do not feel my story is anything spectacular but I do feel that so many people are wanting to live more organically and do not really know how.  I am hoping to learn some life lessons in the next six weeks.  I plan to share what I have learned and I hope you find it interesting.

The whole travel thing balances on the new simple living life.  I cannot travel with a lot of stuff, I have to downsize in order to live out of my car and a tent (most of the time).  The two ideals go hand in hand.  I am so looking forward to having a life that is authentic, organic and simple.  I guess my first step is to define those terms for myself as well as come to terms with money.  For me, I have always had a love/hate relationship with money, now is the time to get realistic about it.  You cannot live without it, but I certainly do not want to pursue it at any cost any longer.

Today's To Do List...

Today’s To Do List…

The next six weeks should be interesting and I hope you continue to check in.    Thank you for listening!!