By Lois Hewitt

Last night’s dinner was pizza. I could have ordered one but I made one myself. 

I smiled as I felt the dough, soft and pliable, in my hands. Spreading it ever so gently into the pan.

Then making a sauce with garlic and herbs.  Pouring a dash of olive oil to give it a gloss.

Then cutting olives and onion as a topping.  Trying hard not to forget a little fresh spinach.

Finally, tearing some fresh mozzarella and fresh parmesan to top it all off.

As it cooked, the apartment smelled absolutely delicious. And my anticipation grew.

Once it cooked and cooled a bit, a fresh salad was added and Heaven on earth was created.

Simple, it was.  Nothing fancy, just made by hand and with love. 

In past days, cooking seemed to me to be an unfair chore I was expected to complete. Food not made with love but with haste, may have filled the stomach but never filled the soul.

Now the food we eat nourishes our bodies and our hearts. No fancy meals are necessary, a casserole, soup or a pizza work just fine.

Cooking has gotten a bad wrap.  A chore.  A necessary evil.  None of which is true.

You have to change your mind set and realize it to be a joyful experience that has the most amazing gift at the end. A healthy, affordable and nourishing meal is the fruit of your labors.

Oh how I despised cooking. All that work and clean up just so everyone can gulp it down in a few minutes and go back to their phone screen.

Learning to not only savor the process (meal plans, shopping, prepping, cooking and eating) but learning to savor the meal itself changed my life.

Before food filled a basic need. I ate like I was starving with no thought whatsoever to what I was actually doing. Wolf it down and start thinking about the next meal.

Today, I enjoy the process which also includes the clean up.  I value the time I spend consciously making food that is flavorful and healthy.

It took a long time to get over the resentment I had previously. Then it was hard trying to figure out how to do all this.  But it was time well spent.

I do not want to sound like it’s a Jamie Oliver meal every time. I still put out a stinker now and then. Or a failed attempt at something new.

But it’s now become part of who I am.  I find my peace in my tiny kitchen.  I find lost pieces of myself as i lovingly combine ingredients that create, hopefully, a delicious and nutritious meal.

I get that not everyone will agree. I know I certainly would not have even just a few years ago. 

What’s the moral of the story?  It’s never too late to find that “thing” that moves you, that enriches you.

That thing may be something so far removed from your consciousness.  But leave your mind open to the possibility of it.

The world wants to drain your peace. It is more important than ever to find the solice inside of you and maybe it can even be shared with others.  It may not be cooking, it doesn’t have to be.

Find your joy. Feed it and nurture it and it will do the same thing back.  Make your peace a priority, a decision you will not regret.

We are not called by Jesus to worry and fret. He came to give everlasting live in abundance. Grab that gift and never let it go!  Joy and peace to you!

By Lois Hewitt

Yesterday, someone spoke words that hurt me.  Someone, who doesn’t know me well made assumptions.  Those words hurt.

In my new mindset, I was obligated to question my reaction to those words.

My ego took a hit because the words put my ideals, not my person, in a bad light. Frankly, I did not like that.  But ego wants it’s way always, so ego had to toughen up and get over itself.

Then I dealt with the assumptions. The words tried to paint a generalized picture of me.  I’m a unique child of God as we all are. Yes I have certain ideals, but none of us is exactly like the others, no matter the “group” you affiliate with.  Just as my fingerprint is unlike any other, so too is my being.

Words said with anger are the worst words cast.  I have lashed out many times, saying what I felt in that moment, which was not necessarily true. But once spewed, they can never be unheard.

So I listened as the words came flowing like a river full of hate.  Then my heart grew heavy, not for me, but for the speaker of the words.  Who hurt you so very badly?  What experience caused such hate? 

At that point, I realized I gave the words their punch. I allowed the words to cause a reaction in me.  That was on me, not the other person. 

Now the words no longer stung. The iffy truth they claimed just was not true at all. I went from hurt to compassion.

I, too, have hurt people with generalizations and assumptions. Many times it was in an attempt to protect myself from a perceived threat.  Like a feral dog, backed into a corner, self-preservation always kicks in.

We hope our words can uplift and encourage but there are times they do the opposite. You, as the brunt of those words, has to make a choice. Cornered feral dog or be more like the best example ever, Jesus.

On a Sunday, He was adored.  By that Friday, He was hated, ridiculed, abused and killed.  Yet His wrath was not present. He even asked His Father to forgive them, for they know not what they do.

That is my new model.  Words only have meaning when I allow it.  I realized that all my retalitary words would probably not change their assumptions. That is on them.

So today, instead of moping around wondering why I am being picked on, I am at peace. Because I know who I am and Who I belong to.  I have known pain in my life, so compassion should be with me.

I know there are some words that continue to ring in your head said by people you loved and trusted. Those words hurt far more than a stranger or an acquaintance.

But for your own sake, your own good, pray to make peace with those words. You can ruminate on them for a lifetime or you can take their value away and move into peace.

I will never forget the angry words my father said one day.  Devastated, was I.  I lived by those words for years. Chasing away my peace. Then one day I could no longer take it and I took the value of the words away.

It won’t be an easy choice to leave the words said before or the words not yet said. But your responsibly lies, not in justifying your retaliation, but in realizing your own peace and the compassion the other person so desperately needs.

I pray that in these precarious times, we can look to Jesus, and not the world, for our example of how to act when we are attacked. For many times they know not what they do.

By Lois Hewitt

There comes a time when, after sitting on the sidelines, you are called to the field.  You may not feel prepared.  You might not think yourself strong enough.  But when you are called, you better jump to it with all the enthusiasm you can muster.

I used to think being a Christian meant bring good.  Being compliant.  The last couple of years have taught me different.  Yes, it’s important to be a good person but you are never called to be a doormat.

Jesus does not call you to be a victim.  He calls you to take His strength, His courage and His power to use to glorify Him.

He came to start a revolution against the standard religious practices. He stormed the establishment and He brought about change that is still relavent 2000+ years later.

Sometimes God lays down a foundation of His truths that you may not have seen before. He has time, so it can unfold gradually.  Then one day you get a metaphysical baseball hit to your knees and you have to decide which way you will proceed.

We live in very uncertain times. People are not always what they say.  We must be on guard and be ever vigilant.

We must seek God’s direction in all things these days. I feel like I’m finally being called to play, I haven’t practiced, I am not strong but I’ll let Jesus do the heavy lifting…i just need to show up.

If you are struggling lately, unsure of your place. Not sure you will be called.  My advice is to pray.  Seek His guidance and His strength.

You are stronger than you think. The world is going to need those who believe. It isn’t going to be an easy road but what in life is easy?

I’m finding there is so much more to live in the uneasy. Do not let fear stop you from playing your part. You ARE a warrior!!

By Lois Hewitt

Hello, it’s been a little while.  I hope you are all doing well.

On this rainy Sunday, I thought a little financial review was in order.  So I logged into Social Security just to nose around.

I found the list of all my earnings, dating back to 1978 when I made my first $825 (yearly income).  My income has always vacalated between pretty good and how-did-I-make-it.

As I looked over my years of working, I noticed quite a few high earner years. It made me step back in time a bit.

Those years were my brutal years. I was working two jobs usually and attending college full time on the weekends.  Boy, was I tired then.

Those years were the years I fell into deep, debilitating debt. With all my working, I felt I deserved everything I wanted.  I was totally driven by ego at that time.

Those were the years I drank and smoked and ate bad food.  I rarely exercised and could barely sleep.  My stress levels were so high but, by then, it seemed normal. Anger, I was literally angry all the time.

I spent, drank and ate all that money away.  I was chased daily by collections people.  I never felt any peace in those days.  The only dream I could ever muster was about hopping a fright train and never coming back.

Night after night I dreamt about leaving. I was surrounded by all the things I thought would make me finally happy but ended up drowning me.

Fast forward to a life that is the total opposite. These are not high earning years and that is perfectly okay.  Bills, I have a few but they no longer deplete me of life.

Things, as they say, have come and gone.  Possessions now are few but have meaning and purpose.

The anger and addictions that had a stranglehold are now a memory. Yes, always aware that they can reappear but I have tools in my arsenal for them.

Empty and hollow I was then.  No purpose or reason. Today full and grateful.  Living for my purpose. Lived ungodly, today full of the Spirit.

Ego is finally in the backseat. She rears up every so often, she hates the peace and the calm.  But it is my new normal.

I have taken stock lately.  The past needs to be put in the past.  The lessons never forgotten but it is time to live in the present. No more wallowing in self-pity.

I speak frequently about a warrior spirit as I sit afraid and defeated on my couch.  The warrior is ready to make an appearance.

Gone, thankfully, are the days of past.  They made me who I am today. But today needs more than that.  

Living for Jesus is the answer I found. Money never made me happy, nor did the things. Busyness, like a disease, destroyed my life.

Today needs more sunrise watching, more simple pleasures, more gratitude, and more joy.  This only comes from Jesus.

I have made a shambles of my life, but the One who created all things has fixed the holes in my soul, filled the emptiness and cleansed me from all I did before.

As I look back on the work I did and the money I made, I see how important priorities are. My priority used to be me but now I have a Higher Calling.  And that is worth more than any amount of money.

By Lois Hewitt

I used to allow myself to languish in my perceived grief.  Grief for a life I did not have.

I allowed my mind and my emotions to drive the car of my life.  It took wild turns and made dangerous swerves.

I wallowed in a bath full of self-pity and obnoxious self grandeur. 

As I have aged, the best lesson learned is a hard but necessary lesson.  To Step Up.  To go when you would rather not.

To act in a way you that feels like too much work.

To do the right thing when it just seems too hard. And to do the right thing when no one is watching.

To Step Up means different things to different people.  For me it can simply mean to just walk out the door and into the world.

I would rather not ever leave where I live but I am called to do more than just exist.  I used to take up space never fulfilling any dream or hope fully.

I started lots of things and finished very few.  Failed over and over without the gift of lesson learned.

Then comes the age when you realize the end is closer than the beginning.  Not in a morbid way but in a truthful sense of reality.

When I step up, even in the smallest way, I feel as if I climbed a mountain.  The days of laying in bed rather than going to work or cleaning the house or cooking a meal are a not so distant memory but a memory nonetheless.

Some people have done great and wondrous things with their lives. Their goals were always clear.  I have a little envy for such a person.

But one day I realized that it was not too late to start living the life God gave me to live.  I’m breathing…I am stepping up.

Makes no difference how you started the race or how the middle went but how you finish is the key.

Life as a race makes sense to me.  As I look at the other runners I see varied degrees of ability and determination. I used to think I had to copy other people’s races.

But now I see my race is unique to me as yours is to you.  I may have started off slow and had a slow middle but I plan to finally step up.

So much time wasted, nothing can be done about it now.  But I can change this point forward by taking the chances, no matter the size, that I used to miss. Too late is not an option any longer.

Some days I set a personal best and other days I can’t seem to get off the starting line but, at least, I showed up and did not miss the race all together.

To Step Up wins the race. To Step Up a victor makes!

By Lois Hewitt

Today I hit a milestone.  Today I am writing my 400th blog post (they always start as FB posts).  10 years and 400 posts. What a ride it’s been.

I cannot go back and look at the first posts. My life was so chaotic and my mental health so bad, I imagine I could barely handle it.

Then it became a travel log as we drove our epic journey to find a new life.

Then just random thoughts, none of which I care to read either. 

Now a journal of my faith. 

The blog is a true mirror of the  life I have led. True and honest.  The good, the bad and the very ugly parts.  I’ve written about darkness and fear, about uncertainty and self-doubt and about just not knowing what to do. 

But now, at least I hope, it is about redemption and forgiveness. About surrender and faith.  I was so broken, but not hopeless. I have been in the valley, the desert and on the mountaintop.

What have I learned in 400 posts:

Never ever give up, things will always change.

If you can’t see a way out, just look up…nothing is impossible with God.

Your past may have molded you, but it does not define you in the present.

No matter the things you have done or said, sincere remorse can bring cleansing through the blood of Jesus.

Never discount the power in being grateful.  Gratitude kills entitlement and victim mentalities.

I now choose people and experiences over things.

Sometimes a solid “no” is the greatest gift of all.

Love is the super power that has the absolute ability to heal ourselves, others and the world.  Jesus taught me the meaning of love.

Rest and taking care of yourself are absolutely non- negotiable. 

I have not always made the right choices. They were based purely on my own wants.  Today my choices have a heavenly light upon them.  Still not always perfect but getting closer.

Joy is a choice.  Joy is present in good times and bad if you chose it to be.  Choosing joy was a learned experience for me, not natural but definitely possible.

There are more but one last one.  God created food to heal not make us ill.  Eating right must be a priority.

Thank you to everyone who ever read anything I ever wrote. Thank you for the always encouraging comments as I read them all.

I cannot even remember why I started this blog.  I suppose it was a fluke and maybe I thought it could become a career (years to date earnings $0 – oh well).  But now I know the joy is not in any monetary reward but in the connections made.

I have had readers from all over the globe.  I have no idea how someone from Russia finds me, but I am eternally happy that it happens. If I can touch one person, it is worth it all.

Well, the 400th post is almost complete. Not sure what’s left to say, maybe nothing. I leave that up to the Holy Spirit. The most meaningful posts I remember nothing of writing them.  Sometimes I am just a conduit and fingers to type.

Not sure I’ll reach 500 posts but it’s been an amazing ride where I hope Jesus was glorifed! 

Thank you ever so much!

By Lois Hewitt

Cayenne Pepper.  What it has taught me.

All my life I feared all peppers and hot spices. I felt my system too fragile to handle.

Meals were plain with a bit of black pepper and a touch of salt.

Once I gave up processed and fast food, I noticed a need in my system for more flavor.

Gone were the unhealthy oils and food additives.  My scratch cooking lacked a savory taste.

Barbara O’Neil explained the difference between cayenne and other peppers that is leading me down a new path.

Cayenne is not hot and burning like a habenaro, but subtly warm.  It can cause a momentary tingle on the tongue and in the throat.

Its health benefits outweigh any inconvience. So I started with a small shake.  Then a full shake.  Now a couple seems to do the trick. The heat is missed if I do not use it.

I have fallen in love with cayenne and its taste and its subtle heat.  I feel it working inside me to bring about better blood pressure, better blood flow and a cleansing that only comes from the fire.

So it is with the Christian life, I am finding. You may be bland and plain for a time but it will come when you are asked to be a bit of heat.  Not scorching but distinct and present. 

We are called to make a stand.  Some will appear like a Scotch Bonnet, hot and irritating.  Others will appear like a poblano, with hardly a notice.

The cayenne rests between the two.  With a kick but not a burn.  I am in a cayenne state of mind at this time.

I see the jokes on social media about Easter. And the blatant disregard for Christian beliefs. This from many screaming voices that say they need everyone to bow down to them and submit.  They call Christians hypocrites and then marginalize our beliefs. The very definition of hypocracy.

Christians are not called to be more perfect than anyone else.  We, just like all people, are not able to achieve perfection.  Yes, the church and religion have hurt people, but so has every other organized group of people.  Hurt happens across the board.

The voices screaming hate belong to the one screaming. Not to any group they claim alliance with. 

I, personally, do not feel the need to scream but I will turn up the heat when my Lord is mocked.

I seek not to mock you yet my faith is in an open season. I believe the strength of my faith is in the lamb but there is also a lion nearby.

My mood is very cayenne at the moment.  I do not like the direction in which the world is heading. Maybe a touch of cayenne is needed.

If you want to know Jesus but don’t know where to start. Simply say this short prayer. 

Lord, forgive me for my sins and save me. Help me to turn away from my old ways and follow Your will. I believe in Jesus and ask Him to be my Lord and Savior. Cleanse me with Your blood and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

Then find someone you trust and start on the path of learning about the Christian faith.

There are also many resources online and in Christian bookstores. Pray for discernment and He will guide your search.

Please open your heart to Him.  It was the best decision I ever made.

By Lois Hewitt

Resurrection Sunday!  This is the single MOST important day in Christian history.  For on this day, Jesus was no longer beaten and bruised, no longer susceptible to human malodies, and no longer lifeless.  On this Sunday, He rose up to His glory in Heaven.

The women who cared for Jesus went to the tomb and found it empty.  Then an angel appeared and explained:

Don’t be afraid! I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen.” (Matthew 28:5-6, NLT)

What a glorious day!  From this day forward the world had a Savior that defied death and brought salvation and redemption from sin.

Thank you for all who took this journey with me this week.  This is the first time I delved into all that transpired that week.  I learned to much!

Thank you to God’s word as it guided me through this week.  The Learn Religions website was a great help also.

So on this holiest of Holy days, I pray the the spirit of Jesus fills you.

Gives you forgiveness when you sin.

Gives you strength when you are weak. 

Gives you health when you are sick.

Gives you peace when you are anxious

Gives you comfort when you grieve.

Gives you daily bread and provisions every day.

Gives you love, kindness, mercy and grace all the days of your life.

Jesus came to change the world. Not to create a religion but to care for all of His Father’s children.

Everything before passed, a new day dawned. Glory was His.

If you don’t know Jesus, please just talk to Him.  He has saved so many.  He just wants us to come to Him, He will take it from there.

He took a sinner like me and washed me clean.  He now guides my path away from danger.  He is my comfort amidst a chaotic world.  He is my rock! 

Happy Easter!  May the light of Jesus shine upon you!

Sunday’s events are recorded in Matthew 28:1-13, Mark 16:1-14, Luke 24:1-49, and John 20:1-23.

By Lois Hewitt

Holy Saturday.  Friday is over but Sunday is not yet here.  Today two quiet followers of Jesus make it known that He was the Messiah.

Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, were members of the Sanhedrin, the court that had condemned Jesus Christ to death.

They quietly watched as Jesus ministered to those around Him.  They watched and listened. They had to be afraid to publicly support Jesus because of their positions in the church.

But on Saturday, as they prepared the body of Jesus for burial, they made their beliefs known.  They had to be a little scared but decided it was the right thing to do.

For so many years, I followed Jesus but He was a buddy, a pal.  I had some reverence but not in the amount I should have.  Although I was not the ideal follower, I did learn something.

I learned that He is indeed my friend.  A friend Who cares for me, Who weeps with me, Who laughs with me.  I was not the perfect follower but I actually learned to depend on Him.

I did not have the understanding I have now.  I, although am so very ashamed now, cursed Him.  I yelled at Him.  I questioned if He was real and if so, why was He so cruel to me at times.

Those were heady days, my friend.  I longed for a child and I longed to be healed and those things stayed distant.

I was not an ideal follower but in those dark days…years… I learned to rely on Him.

Then the time came were He has allowed me more understanding and knowledge. Free am I from those old thoughts and confusions. Once in a while I catch myself asking “why”  but I no longer need an answer because I know the plan is good.

So like Nicodemus and Joseph, I have come out of hiding. I still consider Jesus my friend, but now the relationship has moved to a new level.  He is my Teacher, my Protector, my Comforter and my Saving Grace.  He is more to me than I ever dreamed.

On this, relatively quiet, Saturday before the celebration of the resurrection, I contemplate all Jesus has done for me and I humbly fall at His feet in absolute gratitude for all things He has done and is yet to do.

If I had been with Jesus in His time on earth, I may very well have denied Him in fear.  But today I proudly claim my postion as a child of Jesus.  With gratitude unending.

I will no doubt have periods of uncertainty, life throws those curveballs our way, but to recover quickly from such times will be the goal.  I want no distance between Him and me.

As long as we have breath, we have the opportunity to grow deeper in Him. The old things we did are learning experiences. I was not the perfect follower, nor will I ever be, but we are not called to perfection.  We are called to love Him. I embrace that calling today. Do you?

Saturday’s events are recorded in Matthew 27:62-66, Mark 16:1, Luke 23:56, and John 19:40.