By Lois Hewitt

I was sitting a work today just typing away when I had a flash of a thought of a person from my past, from a time that was not good at all.  I actually started to sweat and my heart pounded with fear at the thought of even seeing this person again.

It was surreal to say the least and I calmed myself down. Looked around to make sure no one saw me freaking out and just prayed for strength to forgive and move on.

After the moment had passed, I was left with thoughts about me, as often happens.  What was I like during the time of that relationship? How did I act?  What were the words I said?

I immediately felt bad for anyone who knew me “then”.  Those people are only left with a memory of me that is anything but flattering. I grasped at every straw I could find to figure out who I was.  My purpose unclear.  I tried this and I tried that. I was a feminist for a week.  I was a Buddhist for a week.  I walked around like a thug sometimes and an intellectual others. I had absolutely no clue.

So I’m sad for the people who do not know me as the calmer, less angry, self-aware, Christian me that I am today. But that’s okay.

Not everyone will be able to see the new and improved me or you.  Not everyone world approve anyway.  Some might even doubt the validity of the changes. Some might be resentful because they haven’t been able to progress. But that’s okay.

Each person’s journey is different. The timing is as individual as we are.  A lot of things happen between our birth and our physical passing. All the experiences are like musical notes in a very long and convoluted symphony.

Sure, there are entire decades I would love to burn and bury. The one that came to mind today being one of them.  But you cannot discard what was learned during that time, even if the knowledge came years later.

If you were to look in the mirror right this moment, what would you see?  I would see a face worn by life’s road. I would see tiredness and a bit of defeat. How about you?

Do you know what you should see?  A Victor.  Someone who has rode out the storms, someone who walked through the fires, and someone who is determined to not stay the same but to thrive and grow like a might oak tree. Slightly damaged but strong as ever.

You may have unpleasant flashes from a troubled past. We all actually do.  I’m sorry for that for you.  But those moments were used to form a much stronger person who has empathy and understanding beyond reason.  So many days I just want to hide and forget I even exist.

But I was given this life to serve a purpose, just like you are. Nothing is wasted in God’s world.  So if you just want to pull up the covers and call it a day…don’t!  The world needs you as you are today and who you will grow into tomorrow.

Don’t let those painful memories write your story any longer. If you are like me, those days have filled up too much of my story. Now it’s time for the triumphant chapter. The New Me Chapter.  You can do that, look up to God and rise up out of the ashes!!

We have got this!  Be strong my friend!