Dinner with Friends

Last night we had the opportunity to visit with friends from another time. What a delight it was to be able to connect to that time in our lives with people who were an important part of it.  As life does, our paths went in different directions.  Our experiences were not the same.  But it felt as if we never parted.

Time, trials and joy imprint our souls and change us. I get that…

But the comfort that comes with familiarity covered me like a cozy blanket.  We talked and laughed about things we had done.  I thought about the person I was then. She is still here, if only as a cautionary tale, but she seems like a very distant memory.

Talking and laughing and getting a little weepy with a piece of personal history felt so good. I have made many great connections in my new life. My blessings abound from the people that I know now. But there is something magical about old friends.

Last night I came face to face with my history. It was a time when I was trying to just get by without the knowledge that comes with age. We were all struggling to find an equilibrium that made sense. It was, although not really the same, like being in a foxhole together. We were all in a fight of one kind or another. It created bonds that cannot be broken.

When you leave a certain situation, it’s easy to try to forget about it. As we all know, that is not really possible. My unhappiness in my old life, no matter how bad I felt, was decorated with some of the best times of my life. The people I knew then were my inspiration to get better. They created a comforter for me in my insecurities. They allowed me to stumble and fall without fear.

My focus for the last few years has been to evolve, to be better than I was and to make up for the stupid I did back in the day. I have been so blinded by that imperative in my life I have forgotten the other side of a past life. The good side.

Last night while having dinner with friends I remember it wasn’t all bad. I wasn’t all bad. There was fun, laughter, hard work and joy. I always say it’s the fire that makes you who you are. It is also the light that makes you who you are. Just like in the natural world, you have to have night for the morning to come.

I so enjoyed the few hours, that felt like a few minutes. It reminded me that my younger self was doing the best she could with what she had. It reminded me of all the imprints on my soul from friends and family. Maybe now I can look in the rearview mirror and not see just the chaos. Maybe now I can see the light that was there through the amazing people I knew.

I think I’m finally ready to embrace my past for what it is. The stepping stones to today. I am truly blessed to have been able to have friends who inspired and shaped me…past and present.

Having dinner with friends nourished my soul in a way I did not expect. It’s a reminder to appreciate those amazing people in our lives. It’s easy to lose touch but hang on tight to the lights these lovely people bring into the world. This world needs all the light it can receive.

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