I Am by Lois Hewitt

I am…

Broken and flawed

Socially awkward

Fearful and often unsure

Obsessive and compulsive

Over thinking in every situation

Really bad with money, really bad

Self-centered as a way of self-protection

Full of doubts, confusion and contradictions

Not always great at decision making

I am also

Trying to heal

Trying to be better

Trying to help others

Trying to be the person I know I am…

The paths I have chosen went through the darkest of places and to the highest mountain tops. I have cried until there were no more tears and laughed until I could not breathe. I have hated and I have loved.

My story is not unique. Many have lived it in variations on the major themes but when all is said, this is my journey. My life. This is who I am…scars, bruises and all.

In my youth, I tried to be someone else. I tried to hide and reshape who I was. I hated myself and the things I had done. In my older age, I no longer have the energy to hide, pretend or second guess. Today I realized that this is who I am.

You can always try to be better but the core of you is you. No amount of polish or decoration can change that.

So today I accept who I am with love and gratitude. Today I will look for the finery. Today I will embrace all that is wrong with me and realize my uniqueness.

Today, I am…


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