The times I’m most depressed are the times I cannot listen to music. Those are my saddest days.

My taste in music ranges from Buble to Zep to STP to Zac Brown and beyond. I grew up in the all too short times when I lived with my Mom, listening and dancing to Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald. Then I found Bad Co and AC/DC. I tended toward heavier, darker music. I did not care for Michael Jackson but his sister rocked the house. Rhythm Nation…perfection. INXS and others filled the 80s. I followed a little grunge and hit a dry spell for a decade or so. I can’t forget my two trips into country music. I like most of it but it’s mostly how it makes me feel.

The music of the seventies keep me from being lonely. The eighties was a time of figuring out who I was. The nineties were down and dirty as its said. After that it trails off a bit.

During the Covid lockdown I found a lot of new (to me) music and I went down many a rabbit hole. The most profound one was Layne Staley. What a voice, what a tragedy. I have cried for Michael, Prince, Stevie, but none as much as Layne.

Artists can touch our souls with their passions, whether it be through a painting, a dance, a fabric, a written word, a song or anything created. I have grieved most of my life for my lack of any particular talent. I can do things but not on that level. It’s easy to see how that kind of passion soars too close to the sun.

I wrote a post, way back in the beginning, about if I had been given the ability to sing, like Whitney, I would have been all consumed in my own talent. In other words, I would have been a giant ass****!

I generally do not simply listen to music, I obsess. Same with movies and books and many other forms of expression. I need to know it, to live it and to feel it. Some day I will write a post about Dean Winchester, that admittedly went way beyond obsession. Lol.

The days I cannot tolerate the sounds of music or the flickers of images from a movie are the days I should be afraid. The arts, on many levels, got me through. They taught me how to and how not to live. I went through many life phases based on the current obsession. I’m not a passive enjoyer of talents. I need it to live.

So in my almost 60 years (I can’t be that old 😆) I have never found that thing I am good at until now. Also over the lockdown I found a different kind of rabbit hole. I found Jamie Oliver.

I was deemed non-essential with an uncertain future ahead. My life plans ended up in the dumpster and I was devestated for a time. Weren’t we all? But I started cooking and watching every Jamie Oliver video. I used to just throw things together without any care or forethought. I cooked just to eat. Now I cook with intent and love. I cook with beautiful vegetables for vitality and health. Jamie taught me these things and it’s changed my life.

Would I rather have a powerful voice like Layne? Or dance like Misha? Or paint like Van Gogh? Or write like Hemingway? In a heartbeat. But being able to make food, grown from the land that nourishes the body is a pretty cool talent to have. I may not be remembered long but that’s okay too.

If you are are feeling underwhelmed with yourself, try opening your horizons. I never thought of cooking as a talent except for professional chefs and that talent I ain’t got. But taking the things in life that you love and being passionate about it feeds the soul. Find your joy today!