Yesterday, I cried and felt the urge to give up. After getting a second job while still learning my first job, I was overwhelmed and tired. My body hurt from working 19 dats without a day off. My brain became a little scattered. I had a hard time reading my watch yesterday, I just could not process any more information. I was shaky and weak. I prayed that the Lord would help me through the day because I did not have the ability to do my job on my own (I always need His help). When I got home yesterday, and I laid down to nap only to hear my upstairs neighbors bowling, it had to be bowling, the noise was loud and continued for hours. Yesterday, I cried and was tempted to give up. Life gives us rough patches and I was not dealing with my latest one.
Sleep, last night, was uneasy and not refreshing. I woke up knowing that I was needed at work even though it was supposed to be my day off. I begrudgingly got up took my shower and went to work. Just like the fog that covers the beautiful mountains I live near, my brain fog cleared leaving the sun visible to see.
Yesterday I cried and thought about the “good old days”. Today, I realize those days are exaggerated in my mind, I cried in those days too. Some days, you just have to cry. It doesn’t mean that you are weak or are being a baby. It means that you have had enough of being strong and need a break. Crying relieves tension and stress. I allowed myself my moment or two (or three) of self-pity. After my face dried and I blew my nose, I pulled myself up and “got over it”.
Yesterday, I cried but today I smiled. I smiled for the blessings of health, the ability to work my two crazy jobs, the roof over my head, the food (albeit mostly peanut butter right now) in my cabinet, my car that gets me to work, my friends and family and a thousand other blessings which I could not see yesterday. Today those blessings are as bright as the southern sun. I think they are shining brighter because of yesterday’s overcast sky.
Sometimes we say things like God is good. I believe we mean it but it really takes root after the dark days. Once the light starts to replace the darkness, it makes the light so much brighter.
Yesterday, I cried from sadness. Today, I cried from happiness. The bad days suck, no two ways about it but without them the good days would not be as welcoming. So I’m glad I cried yesterday. I hated life yesterday and today I love life. It doesn’t get better than that.