For the last five years or so I have been cutting my own hair and not wearing any make up.  My wardrobe consists of black t-shirts and black pants.  I do not even own a comb or a brush.  All the time I believed that I was living up to some unspoken code of either frugality or minimalism.  I felt that if I spent money on a real haircut that I was turning my back on my beliefs.  

So today I went on an interview with a company I really want to work for (if I get it, I will tell you all about it).  I walked into the corporate office in my train uniform as that’s the only thing I own that resembles anything even remotely dressed up. I wore a big scarf to hide the train logo on my vest.  My hair was an absolute mess.  I tried this morning to even it out and cover the ever-growing bald spot in the back, but I proceeded to make it even worse. There was no time to fix it.  My shoes were a muddy mess and my purse did not match anything I was wearing.

The interview seemed to go well I hope.  But when I got back to my car I looked at myself in the rear view mirror and came to a startling conclusion.  I had, plain and simply, given up on myself.  I was using the excuse that what I looked like doesn’t matter.  Well, it does…like it or not.  This place I want to work is not overly obsessed with appearances but has a certain reputation to live up to.  You have to look, at the very least, like you care.  I feel that I did not look that way.  Hopefully, my experience will get me in the door.

On the way back home, I stopped at a Fantastic Sam’s for a real haircut.  Because of the missteps I had take with the hair shears, there was not a lot she could do.  We laughed as she continued to cut and even out the mess I had made.  When it was all over, my hair looked really nice.  It was now well-kept looking and neat.  $16 plus a tip was all it took to make a world of a difference.  I had not betrayed any philosophy I was living under. The next stop was for a bottle of foundation to even out the skin tone. Nothing fancy, just a little bit of help.

I wish I would have done this before the interview, but I think it will be okay.  So what did I learn?  It is actually ok to look as good as you can. The littlest change can bring about renewed self-confidence and give you a little lift in your step.  Caring about your appearance does not mean that you can’t be authentic.  I foolishly talked myself into believing that if I cut my hair or wore a touch of makeup that I was being fake somehow. It caused me to basically give up.

Do not get me wrong, I can still comb my hair with my fingers.  The bottle of foundation will probably still be here long after I’m gone. But that’s ok. I can still be authentic and care about myself.

Why are these lessons taking so long for me to learn?  I guess I’m just a slow learner.  I’m, at least, glad to be learning them.  I’m marking in my calendar the date for my next hair appointment.  I sort of feel like an adult. 😜

PS. I forgot to wear deodorant….I will try to remember next time!