I am sorry that I have not written anything lately, I have been depressed. I have been trying to come up with something to write about but neither the ideas nor the words seem to be coming. I feel as if I have lost my voice. There are so many game-changing things going on in my life right now that I can barely move. I cannot seem to get my head in the game lately.
In reality, I think I was trying to use my trip to runaway from those inevitable things I knew where headed my way. I felt like Sarah Connor in the first “Terminator” movie. You know the scene at the end where she is sitting in her Jeep and sees the storm coming. She knows there is no way to avoid it; that was me. I saw the storm coming, but I tried to run away from it. Unfortunately, that never really works out like one would hope.
Life is a funny thing, staying stagnant is a terrifying thing but change is also a terrifying thing. There seems to be no in between. I want to just run to my bed, throw the covers over my head and avoid it all, but life requires my presence. So instead of whining like a little girl, I am going to maintain “radio silence”. Hopefully the storm clouds will pass soon and I can start to write about all that has happened and what I have learned from it.
I know a lot of people who are depressed right now, please do me a favor. Find someone sympathetic to talk with like a doctor. Take depression seriously and seek assistance. There are a lot of resources out there, please do not suffer alone in silence. It is not a weakness to ask for help, it shows your strength!! Good luck and God bless!!