Failure or Indirect Success?

My new mantra!

My new mantra!

Many people who did great things failed time and time again before they reached their goals. It is well documented that Edison, Ford and more all lived with their failures and then triumphed. So why I am I here today feeling bad about all my failures in life? I guess because I feel like the failures outweigh the triumphs right now.

  • I failed my way out of high school
  • My first marriage failed
  • I received my Associate Degree but failed to finish my Bachelor’s
  • I failed owning my own online bookstore
  • My failed radio show career
  • I have failed miserably at knitting, crocheting, painting, and many other crafts

The list actually goes on…and on. Well, you get the point. Why do I bring it up today? Because a year ago I opened a little gift shop and just about everything went wrong from the start. I thought I would have be able to work another job, run the shop and keep up with all the other things life threw at me. I was wrong and the gift shop always suffered. Today I have to try to close it down and sell off the inventory. It is a sad day because I know in my heart I never gave it the attention it needed. During these times of questioning, the entire failure list always shows up again like an old friend saying “Hey, I’m here! Look at me!” It is hard to ignore the past. As I look forward to my upcoming Epic Journey, I worry that I will fail there also. I am expecting to do many new things and to learn a lot from all I experience. Then my mind starts thinking that I am too shy to meet new people every day, I am too weak to handle the grueling driving schedule, I am too soft to sleep in the car and eat rations and a myriad of other possible failure points.   Then I start to cease up with horror and fear that I am just wasting the money and time and that I should just stay home. A new part of my personality has started to emerge, one I think that comes only with age. This new part of me says that the only reason I failed so much is because I tried so much. Sure things could have come out differently, but those experiences made me who I am today; the person who is planning on taking an Epic Journey of self-awareness and awareness of others. What is the worst thing that can happen? I came back home with my tail between my legs. At least, I should have some really interesting stories! On the other hand, what if this is my success and I find a way a new, healthier way to live (I am trying to cut out all the extra stress in my life). What if I do, as many travelers say, come back changed? What if I see the world and it opens my eyes to all the wonder and amazement I have missed? History shows that I may fail on this Epic Journey, but I also think I am ready for a win (it has been a while). Maybe this will be my Thomas Edison or Henry Ford moment.   I will give it my best and shot and see what happens. No matter what it should be an interesting ride!! Thank you for joining me on this journey.


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