By Lois Hewitt

A trigger on a gun is the mechanism used to start the process of creating an explosion that eventually propels a bullet.  A trigger begins the entire process.

So it is with life.  We all have our experiences for which we take things. Some are good and create comfort. Some are bad and they become “triggers” later in life.

Yesterday we were out with friends, enjoying the day when a situation arose that triggered me.  I freely admit that I have an “old nature” and it surfaced instantly and my anger became the explosion.

On our epic journey, we encountered an ignorant person in a huge pick up truck that attempted to push us off the road, too close to a long drop off. That profoundly frightened me and became a trigger.

That’s why driving is so difficult for me because many of the drivers in our area are very aggressive, I’m always on ” high alert” about that happening again. Huge pickup trucks scare me.

We encountered some aggressive drivers yesterday and I was triggered. As I have gotten older, I’m not as afraid as I am angry. And I was angry.  Needless to say, after the adrenaline faded I realized that my reaction to the trigger was not the appropriate response.

Since I have more seriously been following Jesus, I have become keenly aware of the dangers of my old nature. Swearing, scrapping, threatening words, just to name a few things, are not the reaction Jesus prefers.

I thought I was doing well with my “new nature” but the old was laying just under the surface, hidden from plain sight but ready to pounce when the call was heard.

I failed miserably in the areas of self-control and brotherly love.  I thought I could pray the anger away. Pray the triggers away.  Pray that the past experiences would simply fade away.

It would be nice if that happened but it does not always. The human condition struggles with those things that we feel and acts perpetrated against us.

I have no clue how Jesus did not just burn the whole place down during the crucifixion.  Had it been me, no one would have walked away.  That’s exactly why I am not the Messiah.

He came to earth to save it, not destroy it.  He will come back with justice but that’s for another time.

So if we are to live like Jesus, does that mean we have no connection to the old nature?  Unfortunately no.  The old nature is part of our DNA, it’s who we are.  Now can you change it?  Thankfully, the answer is a redeeming yes!

I ignorantly thought I had conquered the old me but I had only pushed her down a bit.  I arrogantly thought I was not that person anymore. But I was her for over 60 years, those behaviors and triggers don’t just magically disappear.

We are called to harness them.  To be better than them.  We need to learn to live with them positively.

I came home embarrassed that I lost it and in front of friends. I was heartbroken that I let Jesus down because His light certainly was not shining through me at that moment.

I’m humbled and ready to work harder to be a better person.  I’m ready to try to rewire those triggers in my life to avert future explosions.

So I failed yesterday. I need to ask forgiveness and get up, brush myself off and keep going.  We need to remember perfection is unattainable for us humans.  Failures and fears are going to happen.  Those things that have happened to us will not just go away.

We need to hunker down, read the Word and pray.  Don’t let life run the show, walk with Jesus and see a different way to live.

By Lois Hewitt

Has anyone ever told you that you were beautiful but you just couldn’t believe it?

Has anyone ever told you that you were talented but you just couldn’t believe it?

Has anyone ever told you how smart you are but you couldn’t believe it?

We all of us have some dimmed view of how we think we look or think or act. We cannot always see our light.

Have you ever had a blessing and thought that you do not deserve it?  How can you when you are so broken?

We cannot always see our value or the lingering feel we leave with others.

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered why you cannot be more like them? They must have it all together, and you can barely get through the day.

See with all the social media around, it is easy for other people to give the illusion that their house is perfect, their garden is over flowing, their kitchen is organized, their exercise routine is perfect.  But it’s all Hollywood magic.  Created to look perfect.

The only perfection there is on this planet, in this earthly time is Jesus.  He didn’t need special filters or CGI to create His perfection. 

Jesus came to us as fully man (because of His human birth) and fully God.  He came to save us from ourselves and our love of sin.  He came to show a better way.  He came to stir up the status quo.

Here is the thing that is hard to believe. Today, right now, Jesus knows you are beautiful, talented, intelligent and so much more. He knows this because you are His Father’s creation.

We tend to muddle around in this life fill of doubts. I can tell you as I move into a closer relationship with Jesus I see His truths. 

He watches over us!  He cares about us!  Don’t believe it?  I didn’t for a long time. It seemed like His grace, mercy, forgiveness and love was for people better than me.

I was wrong. He came for all of us. He knew us before the ages. He loved us then. 

It’s time to start believing it!!  I know it is a concept bigger than most of us (especially me) can grasp. As I learn more and experience more, I not only see it, I feel it.  It’s pure truth.

You have so much value.  You are so very loved.  You are amazingly beautiful. All through the blood shed on the cross.

Once you start truly believing it, I guarantee you will start to see things differently.

I used to think I gave my heart to Jesus but I still only wanted what I wanted, which was to sin.

Today I am (still) working on giving my heart to Jesus and I have been transformed. You can be too if you believe. Please believe in His transforming love. It is true perfection.

By Lois Hewitt

I’m sorry. I just have to say this.

As my Christian walk progesses, my life inside is changing.

We can disagree on Theology and the Bible. Many people refute it even though it is the perfect Word of God. We can disagree on Biblical meanings and imagery. There are all kinds of arguments. 

But as Jesus fills my life. I am changed. I cry when I hear His name for I am so unworthy and He is so giving.

As Jesus fills my life, I hate the very sins I used to love.

As Jesus fills my life, I am in sorrow for a lost and fallen world.

As Jesus fills my life, I NEVER want what was before Him. 

As far as Jesus in my life, there is no room for argument. I stand straight, planted on the Rock of Jesus and no one can argue that out of me.

I don’t have answers about suffering or war or injustice.  I can’t throw out detailed Theological concepts.

But I sure as heck can show what once was a broken life that is now healing. I can show what He has done to me.

My smallest hope is that the Light inside of me can shine brighter than any contrived argument against the One who died on an old, jagged tree. Whose blood atoned for your sin and mine. The One who came and changed the world completely.

If I am considered trouble for my beliefs, so be it. Jesus was hated by the religious and the non-believers. I stand in good company.

By Lois Hewitt

What a beautiful day!  It is truly the day the Lord has made!

When we, as Christians, say that, does it mean there is no pain, no strife, no hurt?  Of course not, the fallen world revolves around such things.

How easy is it to see only the lack in life?  To only feel the sickness?  To only be lonely?  To only see the injustice?

Humans like comfort and ease. Have you ever had a day where everything goes right and your heart is at peace.  You feel your blessings all around.  Oh how you wish it could always be like that. Nice and safe.

Unfortunately, those are fleeting moments. But why, you ask, why can’t it always be that way?  If you believe in Jesus as your Savior, that is the world yet to come.  But until then…

Many of us learn best when our feet are in the proverbial fire.  When the answer is no.  When our hearts are broken.

It is in those depths, we realize that working under our own power is futile. Our motivations are not pure.

It is in those depths, we forge compassion, empathy, courage and strength.  I do not know about you, but I don’t learn much in the ease of the perfect day, no matter how much I wish it to be so.

The changes in our lives come through the tears and heartache. Those things end complacency and fortify the internal fortitude that drives us to become better human beings.

A test?  The older I get the more I think it so.  In the fire, our true priorities surface.  Our true convictions. Our true self.  In past testing periods, I failed miserably as I realized the person I wanted to be was not who I was.  On the perfect day, it was easy to be that person I wanted to be.

In the days full of illness and chaos I came through ugly inside and out. It was only when I learned to embrace the hard days that I emerged better.

I clung to Jesus on those bad days. I prayed for strength to endure. I finally gave up my strangehold and submitted to Him.

That changed everything. Is every day perfect now? No way.  Am I exactly who I wish I was? No but I’m ever closer.

Today I allow myself, through my love for Jesus, to see more and more of the imperfect days as actually being perfect.

I see the blessings. I feel the gratitide.  I no longer what to take that perfection and squirrel it away only for me. I want to share with the world that it gets better, you get better.  It’s a lot about perception.

Humans tend to perceive their lack.  Humans involved in a real, living relationship with the true Lamb of God, perceive more peace (a learned experience), more joy (regardless of situations) and more growth which extends to others.  The situations may be the same but how you view them is different.

Today is the perfect day to meet with Jesus. He has been waiting for you. Whether you know Him or not, makes no difference.  He is always the same. He never changes. He is perfect love. Trust Him, He can change your life!

What a beautiful day!  It is truly the day the Lord has made!

By Lois Hewitt

“Not What We Were”

I love this tagline from The Chosen.  It says so much in four small words.

It is very easy to look in the mirror in this present time and see only the current reality.  You may see grey hairs, wrinkles, tiredness and things like that.  You may see disappointments and regrets.
You may see the things done or, worse yet, the things not done.

The reflection in the mirror may be a sad one.  But it is only a glimpse into a specific moment in time.  It shows no history or review. It does not tell the whole story of you.

You have to go back, all the way back. Your eyes must honestly see the form that was you.  Think of all things you did not know.  Think of the things you lacked like self-control and discipline.

Hear the things you proclaimed and the declarations you expounded. How did you think?  How did you act?  I’m going to guess it was very different from today.

You have walked through life’s fires.  You have withstood her storms. You have endured pain and loss.  You have grown. 

Looking back for me is very difficult. I was not someone to be proud of back in the day.  I was foolish and reckless, especially with words and actions. 

But slowly I acquired knowledge of things. I prayed for wisdom and self-control.  I prayed for gratitude rather than entitlement.  I prayed to change.

I did.  I changed and am continuing to change through the grace given freely by Jesus. I was a foolish person.  I was not always kind. And I thought only of myself.  I was consumed with the subject of me.  It was an empty and sad existence.

Then I allowed Jesus into my life and things began to change. Of course I fought the process for a long time. As I have said many a time before, I loved my sins. I was used to my sins. I did not know how life would be without them.

But the changes happened and I became new. Now I see the face in the mirror. No longer a youthful glow, face framed in grey hair and tired eyes.

But also peaceful and loving. We must look beyond the facade, the mask and see inside, in our souls. Yes the look has changed but so has the person.  Today, I suggest looking past the face and seeing what has changed on the inside.

I’m not “there” yet but I won’t be until the time I meet Jesus. But I can make strides, no matter the size, to be a better human being. We need better human beings in this world today. Let us strive to be “not what we were” through a personal relationship with Jesus.

By Lois Hewitt

Did you ever just have a random thought, straight out of nowhere?  And all of a sudden you start crying like a baby.

Just happened to me.  I was thinking about all the things I wanted to ask Jesus about. Questions about life.  All the whys.  About what’s coming.

We as humans have so many questions.  We want to know why things happen or don’t. We want to know the future so we can “prepare” for it.  So many questions.

So as I tried to think of one all encompassing question that would answer everything, I realized something.

If I had the chance this very moment to sit for two minutes with Jesus, I would not ask a thing. I just want His scarred hand in my scarred hand.  My head on His shoulder.  And not a word said.

If He were sitting next to me nothing else would matter.  His presence would be enough.  That’s when the water works started (I’m still crying now).

Guess what?  He is sitting with me right now.  He has always been sitting with me.
I just couldn’t see it.  I was so busy searching for the whys, I lost track of His presence.

Some times we feel so alone.  Heck we can be in a room full of people and feel alone.  But if you know Jesus, you are never alone. 

If you don’t know Him, it’s never too late to introduce yourself.  He’s actually been waiting to hear from you.

A fairy tale you may think.  I can tell you that His presence in my life is as real as anything I can see and touch. 

You see, my love is not in a religion or religious people.  My love is in the Savior that not only died for the world but died for a nobody like me.

I think I’m just going to sit in His presence a little longer. Boy, it does feel good.

I Am Not a Robot

By Lois Hewitt

Looking up an article online the other day and I made a startling discovery. The article I was reading was written by AI.

Many years ago, Mike and I wrote articles for Yahoo. Filler articles like the history of ball caps and 100 uses for an onion.

Many times we had to do several rewrites to get it up to their standards. Now AI just writes articles somehow.

I do not pretend to understand Artificial Intelligence. But I have to assume the human factor is cut out of the equation.

I read an article, probably written by AI, about a small local newspaper that uses all AI. How does the human interest part of writing present itself?

I am sure all the words are correct, all the spelling is immaculate and there are no foibles in these articles

My writing, on the other hand, is populated with misused or extra words, my spelling is better but not perfect and I still always do two spaces after a period. I’m a writing disaster. But I always try for transparency and brutal honesty.

So where does AI leave real people writers? I think that remains to be seen. It is probably less expensive and more productive. But is that always the necessary end result.

Now I’m not just talking about me. If I were to live off the income I make from writing, well I would be homeless if truth be told. But many others do make an income by writing about every topic you can think about.

What about people who just love to write? Who breathe and eat writing? Will they be pushed out of the market by some computer generated writing machine? I don’t know.

I do know one thing, genuine human emotion and experiences cannot possibly be duplicated by a machine.

The misspelled word adds humanity to the writing. The accidental word left in after the 29th revision is a mark of humanity. The sly twist of a phrase is a mark of humanity.

As our world grows less and less personal, I want to hang on tightly to real person writing. Not necessarily my own, although I am honored to have had the chance to write anything, but I rely on other people’s experiences to rein light into my life.

I do not know what the future will bring but as long as I can, I will read real people’s writings.

My writings will continue to be full of grammatical errors and misstepped ideas and word formations. But it will be real and honest.

Especially as I write about how Jesus saved me from my own folly and ignorance. How can a machine experience forgiveness undeserved or love unconditional? How can a machine deal with regret, remorse and, ultimately, redemption .

That is all the human experience. Let us not forget the importance of the humaness as life continues to evolve technologically (thank goodness for spell check though).

The human experience is ours, we own it…good or bad. No machine or program can reveal that. Real words from real people, that changes lives.

By Lois Hewitt

Sometimes the world we live in gets really noisy. There are voices, some of them screaming, at every turn.

There are points of view you may not agree with or even understand.  Things so different from what you think.

You may be looking around and not recognizing the world.  It has changed so much since your years of youth.

Do you find you go to speak and it is as if your vocal chords have frozen?  You try to speak but not a sound is produced?  Or worse yet, you speak but no one can hear your words over the ever present worldly noise.

So you try and try again to speak and the words fall to the ground without ever reaching a single ear…or so you think.

Because we have unique experiences we, therefore, have unique thoughts and things we want to say.

I have come to realize that sometimes you have to swim upstream and that those who are swimming with the current will not understand you.

I have learned that not every single battle is worthy of the energy to fight it.  It is best to save your energy for the battles that matter.

We, as a society, are uncomfortable with silence. We have lost the ability to enjoy just being and not having to talk.  So the discomfort brings forth the never-ending noise of voices.

It’s okay to not speak much.  It’s ok to listen and observe.  Silence is a true gift to be savored.

But when the time comes to speak and be heard, pray.  Jesus hears our words and even knows the ones we fail to speak. He listens with an intensity unparalleled by humankind.

Not speaking, in some circles, is a sign of weakness. But nothing could be further from the truth.  Holding your tongue is a super power very few have this day. And when you do speak, your words are almost always heard.

But the best conversations are between you and Jesus. He does reciprocate, just in different ways so you must be aware and of a discerning spirit.

If you are troubled by the sense that you are not being heard.  Be comforted knowing Jesus hears all you say. He longs to hear from you, in fact,  He requires speaking (aka praying) from those who believe in Him.

Prayer is the most important conversation you can ever participate in.

So if you feel unheard, talk to the One who is excited to hear from you.

Do not be discouraged by the world today. Times have changed, they always do.  Ideas shift and sway, that is also always true.

Standing firm in your convictions and speaking the truth may not win you earthly friends but you can be assured that Jesus is thrilled with you.

Remember always that you are not alone. The connection to Jesus is forever open. He promised to be with you and He will be always. Talk to Him.

By Lois Hewitt

Circling the dining room table,
I thought what do I want.
A cup of tea would be grand.
If only a pastry was at hand,
alas none were found.

Perhaps a tea and a comfy chair would fit the bill.
No chair met the need, one too lumpy and one too short.

Tea and a good book are constant companions.
Which book to read?
A mystery? No. A romance? No. Not one filled the need in my soul.

One last attempt. Tea and a song. 
What music to listen to? Nothing too hard or too soft. I can’t tolerate voices today, maybe just silence is what I need.

I circled the table again looking for that thing that was just perfect.
But like me, perfection is not attainable.

Failures, shortcomings and empty spaces surround me all day.  Things I did and did not do.  Hang over me like a storm cloud.

I look for perfection in the world around me. There are glimpses of perfection that is to come but as of today, not all that much is perfect.

What am I to do with my lostness?  My emptiness?  My sadness?

Perhaps a change of lens, to see things anew.
With gratitude for what is with that being enough.

I circled the table one last time with a hot cup of tea in a chipped mug, accompanied with a crumb of bread, as I headed to the lumpy chair to read about a new adventure as I welcomed the silence around me.

New eyes saw this as perfection. 
If you wait for all things to be perfect, you miss the gifts God has for you. 

Perfection is not for this world but for the world to come as we live with Jesus forever.

Enjoy His gifts today. The beauty is in the magnificent expression of gratitude.  No other emotion makes the commonplace turn spectacular. Be thankful today, it will change your world.

(A poet I am not.  Barely a writer I be. Just wanted a fun way to tell a tale. Another way to thank Jesus!)

By Lois Hewitt

Why does it seem like some Christians (myself included) blather on and on about being a Christian?  Why do so many of us post things and speak about it incessantly?

Some people feel like they are being beat over the head with it.  Or that there is some unspoken commission paid for every convert.

I cannot, and would not, speak for anyone else, but I have specific reasons for my blatherings.

You see, I was a mess. And I have been saved by God’s grace. A grace I could never earn. 

I have been forgiven by the blood of Jesus which was shed on the cross. Forgiveness I could never earn.

I have been filled with the Holy Spirit who guides me through this field of landmines called life.  Guidance I could never earn.

God took a mess and reclaimed the life in it.  He has blessed me with great things and not so great things, but I know it ALL works for my good.

Another reason I blather is because when I was unsure and afraid I would have liked to have known about other people’s struggles. I hope I can touch a life or two with my story.

That’s the whole idea of following Jesus (not talking about being religious), is to take the gifts He bestowed on us (unearned) and bestow them on others.

We are to share His goodness, His righteousness and His uncompromising love with others.  He calls us to do two things: 1.  Love Him with our entire life and 2. Love others as we love Him and ourselves.

The world is hurting in ways unprecedented. People are dispondent and desperate. If I can provide even a smidge of comfort to someone, I will.

I remember my days of sin, I didn’t want to hear about Jesus. It would have made me take a real look at myself and my actions.  But a good friend of mine, planted a seed of Jesus in my soul. 

There was a long drought, if truth be told, but eventually the seed started to grow and my life literally changed.

How can I not share it?  I have heard people call this relationship with Jesus a fairy tale.  I, obviously, do not feel the same way but I get that the magnitude of it all is overwhelming for the human mind.

I grapple with things.  I question things but I don’t stop believing it to be truth because I have come out of the fire. Belief is knowing something for sure, and that’s easy.

Faith, on the other hand, is trusting in something you can’t quantify. I have the faith of a mustard seed and I want others to have it too.

The ultimate goal is to help someone else break free from sin and bask in the beautiful light that is Jesus’ love.