Life Lessons

Phase Two: Fresh Starts and New Beginnings in North Carolina

I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Many things have changed since coming back from my journey.  Since everything was in flux, I was not really able to discuss the changes, but now I can.  This is actually Phase 2 of my Epic Journey.  The first part was the trip itself.  While I was actually doing the trip, I felt it was yet another of my failures, but in retrospect, it has actually prepared me for this new phase.  I learned things that I did not realize until later and the difficult experiences made me realize that I am not quite as soft as I thought I was.

Over the past few weeks, Mike and I have been cleaning out our belongings.  Getting rid of anything that is non-essential.  We had decided to live our lives more consciously and without a lot of physical entanglements.  I have lived in this same house for about 48 years and it has accumulated much stuff.  Getting rid of the stuff has proved to be much more difficult than I had ever imagined.  It is not so much the getting rid of it, but finding a home for the stuff when everyone is buried under their own stuff and just the sheer volume of things to get rid of has been quite a hurdle.  I decided a while ago that I was tired of the stuff owning me and now I am finally getting to a point where that will not be the case any longer.  If it does not fit in Devi, it does not go with us.

At the end of this week, we will be starting a completely new life.  We are going to be leaving this home and our home state for a new location in North Carolina.  During this entire process, Mike and I have talked and talked about everything and what we feel we need at this point in our lives.  Years of being one lost paycheck away from disaster has taken its toll, stress has made us sick and it seems we may have actually forgotten how to live.

Part of Phase One was to try a farmstay out in Oregon, but due to unforeseen situations, that never came to pass.  We decided that we would give the farmstay idea another try in North Carolina.  The idea is to connect, through an organization called Help Exchange, volunteers (that would be us) with people who are in need of assistance either on their farms or teaching facilities.  Tasks are detailed and volunteers are usually give room and board in exchange for the jobs they will do.  It is a great symbiotic working relationship because the people in need receive the assistance they desire and the volunteers are given the opportunity to give back while having a roof over their heads.  These stays can be short-term or long-term, it all depends on what is needed.

We actually have a couple of exciting stays lined up for the next few months.  There are about ten opportunities just in the location we are looking at, so the opportunities seem good for now.  We will be nomadic for the next few months; if we like the options, we may stay that way indefinitely.

As the blog starts the next phase, it will still be about self-discovery but now it will also be about something more than just me.  We will be meeting people who are living outside the box and who will, hopefully, teach us how to do the same.  My eyes are going to be opened to new ways of life that I never even imagined before.  The plan is to live lighter, live healthier and to live simpler.

Leaving everything we know and leaving my ultimate comfort zone is proving to be a challenge.  But I could sit in the same place for the rest of my life and play it safe like I have done for so long.  I could watch myself get more and more depressed because my fears and doubts would be running my life or I can step outside and start living.  It is time to start living and helping others.  I wanted my Epic Journey to give me answers to how to live my life, it seemed to only give me more questions, but now I see that when asked the right questions, the answers start to fall into place.

I wanted to thank everyone again who supported my trip.  It was life changing and I could never have done it without your support.  I hope you will stay tuned to find out about this new adventure.  We should be on our first short farmstay by the weekend.  I am looking forward to it (I am scared to death) and I hope you will walk this new path with me.  Thank you for listening.

Pursuing Happiness

I do not own this image but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Foreword:  Before I start, please let me explain that I am not complaining in this post.  I am simply stating a fact that I have found happiness to be a somewhat elusive beast in my life. I will not give up looking for it though.

I just want to be happy.  I do not expect to be “over the moon” every day of my life but I would like to have more happy days than sad.  It is a pursuit that I have been chasing for years.

I tried being a slacker and I tried being an overachiever.  I tried buying everything I could find to fill the void and I tried owning nothing.  I tried being single and being married.  I tried being “Suzy Homemaker” and I tried being all business.  I tried higher education and I tried lower expectations.  I tried selling adult toys and I tried selling Christian books.

I tried being an art snob, reading books way over my comprehension level, feminism, and politics.  I tried being an Earth Mother and being concerned about the environment.  I almost tried raising chickens, but I am not good with poop of any kind, so that did not work.  I went to one cooking class, one bellydance class, one yoga class, one Martial Arts class, and one craft class.  I have owned businesses and closed businesses (I mean my own not someone else’s).

I drank a lot of alcohol and gave it up.  I smoked cigarettes and gave them up.  I swore like a sailor, okay I still do that.  I exercised but never stuck with it.  I took prescription meds and I stopped taking them.  I rode a motorcycle, drove a Jeep and went soaring.  I recently tried travel as a way to escape and found I was wrong about that too.

Well, you get the point.  Finding your true authentic self is very hard work.  I have bumbled down many a dead end street just looking for myself.  It should not be this hard.  I often wonder if other people have this problem.  Does it show that I cannot “stick” with anything or am I just not right in “my skin” yet?

I do understand the difference between happiness and joy.  Happiness is situational and joy is something you feel all the time no matter what you are going through.  So in reality I am truly seeking joy because you cannot count on situations or other people to make you happy.  It has come from within.  I just wish I could find a comfortable place in which to experience joy.  Then again, maybe that is the point of it.  If you find it, what is there to look for after that?  Maybe pursuing it is the important part.  I just do not know.  I want to know but I must be too stupid to figure it out.

I guess in the meantime, I will wake up in the morning (God willing), pray about it and go about trying to be a better person.  I guess I will keep trying things, experimenting and searching.  There must be a reason our forefathers mentioned the “pursuit of happiness” rather than a right to be happy.  Today starts a new day, a new season (it is the first official day of Fall), and new to-do lists designed to help me find my true self.  Instead of trying so hard to find happiness, maybe I will try to start enjoying the journey to happiness.  Easier said than done, I know, but I have to try.

Top Three Reasons I Never Became a Singer

I do not own this image, I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image, I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I cannot remember a time when I did not want to be a singer.  Music was my friend, my mentor, my inspiration and still is  today.  Back in the day, you did not have music videos or YouTube.  You only had records and you imagined what the singers were like from the album cover and liner notes.  Then came videos and everything changed.  Now you could see the singers you listened to.

Videos are not as important today as they once were, musically speaking, but they still have their place.  Once in a while I get in a mood and I just go to YouTube and watch either videos or live performances of older music.  I happened to do that last night after hearing “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus playing overhead at the local Sheetz.  I decided to watch Chaka Chan, Whitney Houston and Etta James videos. Oh to be able to sing like that, I would give anything, alas that is definitely not my talent.  I cannot hold a note, am tone-deaf and I cannot even read music.  I am relegated to being a lover of music, not a participant.

Then I got to thinking about why I was not blessed with that particular talent  and these reasons came to mind:

  1. Ego:  If I could sing like young Whitney Houston, my head would be so swelled that no one else could fit in the room I was in.  I would be like “Bitch, do you know who I am?  I am Lois F*ing Hewitt and I sing!”  I would be that way at parties, at the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the gas station…everywhere.  God knew I could never contain myself if I had talent like that, so He made sure I had no talent for that whatsoever.
  2. Facade:  Watching an older video of a VH1 Diva presentation with Whitney and a few others, I realized that the secondary job of a singer is to never show the real you on stage.  I watched as Whitney Houston sang her heart out, smiled and danced all the time knowing, because I knew the future, she was having a miserable time in her personal life.  I can only imagine how hard it must be to have so much negativity in your personal life but be the ultimate performer on stage.  People did not pay to see her sulk around on stage, they expected to see her vibrancy and energy.  That had to be exhausting.  What a horrible price to pay for fame!
  3. Money:  Although I would like a little more money than I have right now, having too much does not seem to be healthy either.  There are some people with money who seem to be able to control it, but I have to assume (since it has never been a problem for me) that having too much money can create unhealthy lifestyles.  I know if I sold millions of records and had lots of money from it, I would be so obsessive.  There would be no living with me.

My night watching YouTube was extremely enlightening.  Just because I would have wanted a specific gift and spent years cursing the fact that it was not my gift to have, does not mean it would have been good for me.  Sometimes those things we want more than anything are the very things that could ruin us.  My mind goes to Amy Winehouse, Elvis and so many countless others who were given a specific talent but it was that talent that helped to destroy them either directly or indirectly.

So for today, I will ponder the things I want in life,the things I wish for, the dreams I have and look at them with open eyes.  Maybe the things I feel I have to have may not be good for me.  Or maybe they will come at a later time when I am ready for them.  I do not know what the future will bring, except I highly doubt my singing voice will ever develop, but whatever comes my way I have to look at it as my blessing and do all that I can to have it make me a better person, not a bitter person.

Nothing Remains The Same

Change

As I wrote those words, I realized how much my life is about to change.  I am afraid, naturally.  I am excited, obviously.  I am unsure, understandably.  Change is never easy but it has to be taken on in order to grow.  So that is what I am doing right now….growing!!  I hope I come out the other side a better human being, because I sure could use the improvement.

I am sorry that the final part of my Epic Journey had to be postponed.  I have had a lot of people tell me how much they were looking forward to reading about it.  I hated to disappoint you!!  As I have stated many times before, life just sort of stepped in and it has required that I act like an adult (much to my dismay) and do what I have to do right now.  I will finish the journey and I hope to be blessed with other trips also.

Even though I have always tried to “change things up” by trying different jobs, going back to school, starting (and closing) my own businesses, as well as other things, I have basically always stayed where it was safe.  I stepped out always with one foot still on solid ground.  It worked for me for many years, but now I need to jump off the cliff and not rely on the safety of the past.

Here is to new beginnings, to flying without a net and to being open to the uncertainty of the present and the future.  I have no idea where I am headed for sure; I do have some ideas but nothing is cast in stone just yet.  Each new page on the calendar brings me another day closer a fresh start.  Here is to change, may it bring the experience, understanding and knowledge I seek to be a better person.

I Can Never Thank You Enough …. There is More To Come

Make-A-Wish Donation Receipt.

Make-A-Wish Donation Receipt.

Thanks to all of you I was able to make a donation to the Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana Make-A-Wish Foundation.  I promised that part of the proceeds collected would go there, and the funds are being electronically sent as I write this.  I volunteered for this organization for many years and even though I do not currently, I love what they do for the children they help.  So THANK YOU AGAIN for giving me the opportunity to help them!!

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone again for your support regarding my Epic Journey.  As many of you know, the journey is not complete.  I promise there will be more to come.  Unfortunately, life, as it does, has interrupted the journey for now.  But it will continue and I hope it will be much more interesting now that I am a little smarter about traveling.

I hit some road blocks before, during, and after the trip.  I am sorry that the original trip did not go as planned, but I still learned a lot.  I still have much to learn and I hope you will continue to be interested in the blog.  The changes coming up in my life are the biggest challenges I have ever faced, so it should be interesting 🙂

I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

I do not own this image, but I am respectfully using it in my blog.

Thank you again to everyone who helped with this trip.   If I left anyone out, please know it was honestly by accident.  I appreciate everyone and I am honored that you cared enough to take the time to help and encourage me!!

  • To everyone who shared my blog with others
  • To all the people who came into my shop and dropped money in my travel jar
  • Carson
  • Cindy
  • Debbie
  • Carol
  • Chris
  • Randi
  • Gary
  • Rita
  • Jill
  • Terrie
  • Cathy
  • Mike
  • Mary
  • Joyce
  • Ed
  • Wayne
  • Janet
  • Joan
  • Chuck
  • Jon
  • Patricia
  • Kelley
  • Jan
  • Amy
  • Ernie
  • Kimberly
  • Lisa
  • Marty
  • Avery
  • Dawn
  • Jenny
  • Debi
  • Dani
  • Melanie
  • Tracy
  • Rick
  • Theresia
  • Rich
  • Catherine
  • Denise
  • Branson
  • Patti
  • Bill
  • Robert

Once more, thank you and please stay tuned for another exciting adventure!!!

God’s Healing Hands

God's Healing HandsThere are so many things going on in my life right now, so many changes.  Though I am trying to walk a new path, I sometimes doubt myself and my strength to do this.  I feel like I cannot go on, but then I realize that it is the fire that purifies and on the other side of these trials is the hope of peace and healing.  I need to take the focus off of me and focus on God.

Where Does Food Come From? — Hint: It Does Not Start in a Grocery Store :-)

The beautiful farmlands of this country!!

The beautiful farmlands of this country!!

As a child, I had no idea that food come from anywhere other than a grocery store.  I did not know that meat did not come packaged in plastic, that potato chips were really made from potatoes, that milk came from a cow and many other food misconceptions.  I was in my 20s before I even realized that you could make homemade macaroni and cheese, that it did not have to come from a box.  Over the years, I have tried to educate myself on food and I am much more enlightened.

I even tried growing my own vegetables.  Let’s just say, a gardener I am not!  But it made me appreciate farmers and their farms more.  That is why I really enjoyed traveling through the “heartlands” of Iowa and Nebraska.  The fields were beautiful and my appreciation was high.  I am so glad that I know where food really comes from now.  I just want to thank our farmers for their hard work, dedication and give them some much needed gratitude.  There would be no life without them.  Thank you Farmers of America!!

The traffic (or lack of) was much to my liking!!

The traffic (or lack of) was much to my liking!!

The sky did get scary a couple of times, but nothing really happened.  Just looked menacing.

The sky did get scary a couple of times, but nothing really happened. Just looked menacing.

I thought this might have turned into a tornado.

I thought this might have turned into a tornado.

More storm clouds!

More storm clouds!

Rays of light from above were trying to shine through and eventually did.

Rays of light from above were trying to shine through and eventually did.

The sky then turned very blue.

The sky then turned very blue.

Wind power -- love it!!

Wind power — love it!!

The greenest of green fields.

The greenest of green fields.

Acres and acres of this view -- it was incredible!

Acres and acres of this view — it was incredible!

Love the open road!!

Love the open road!!

Today’s To Do List for a Better Me

I compiled a list of things I need to do today and everyday in order to find inner peace.

I compiled a list of things I need to do today and everyday in order to find inner peace.

During my journey I was hoping to find some peace in my life.  I thought getting away from the stresses of everyday life and living on the road would provide the answer I was looking for.  I found many things on the road but peace, unfortunately, was not one of them.  I came home very disappointed with that aspect of the trip (all the other aspects of the trip were wonderful).  Then I realized that I need to look inside myself first, I need to lose the drama that surrounds everyday life, I need to think of others first, I need to pray and be thankful for all things, good or bad.

Running away from problems or situations is never the answer for they just follow you wherever you go.  You may be able to outrun them for a time, but they always catch up with you.  I may not have found actual peace on the road, but I did figure out a way to have more of it in my life.  I am going to try to practice this to do list everyday  along with living a more simple lifestyle and maybe, just maybe, I will experience the inner peace I so desperately seek.

A New Worldview

Travel Expands

I am finding that since I started thinking about traveling, am reading about traveling and have been on the road, my worldview has expanded.  The world seems different to me now.  It is a much bigger place then it was before.  It scares me and invigorates me at the same time.  They say travel changes you and they are right.

Reprint of an Old Article of Mine — The Indoor Girls to Being Outside

~~ Many years ago, I used to write for Associated Content.  I wrote all kinds of different articles.  I came across this one, which kind of fits with my journey/sojourn theme.  I thought I would reprint it.  It actually has some good advice considering I never did become that outdoorsy person I spoke about.  There is still time, right????

I do have a decent pair of hiking/walking boots.  They did not work so great on the beach, but I am not too bright at times :-)

I do have a decent pair of hiking/walking boots. They did not work so great on the beach, but I am not too bright at times 🙂

You may be asking what exactly an indoor girl is. Let me take a moment to explain my verbiage. I am the type of person who prefers climate-controlled environments, indirect sunlight, comfortable surroundings, and a chilled glass of fresh-brewed iced tea. I hate bugs, do not walk barefoot in the grass and I really, really do not like to sweat. I know I sound like a prima-donna, but really all I am is a wimp with outdoor allergies.

After all the years of purposely not going outside in the summer unless absolutely necessary, I have become soft and extremely out of shape. This month is Great Outdoors Month and I plan to start a new habit, hobby and health regimen all in one step. I am going to start hiking or, at the very least, walking trails in a park – which to me is hiking at this point. I am blessed with several wonderful state and local park systems to use (for FREE) to start my new adventure. If you are thinking of doing the same, I put together a list of things that might help you get outside too.

I have seen way too many crime shows on television where the lone jogger gets killed in the park. That is why I never jog, it is just too dangerous. Seriously, I plan to always take a friend with me. Maybe once I am secure in what I am doing and where I am going, I can go alone. It is probably a good idea to also tell someone where and when you are going. I sure sound paranoid, but it is always better to be safe than sorry!!

Shoes are very important and I don’t mean Prada pumps. A decent pair of hiking boots, and a good, thick pair of socks can go a long way to keep your feet for hurting. A little higher boot will also help protect your ankles from getting twisted if you accidentally step on something the wrong way. If you are not used to wearing boots like that, it may take a while for you to break them in. Wear them for short periods of time before your big hiking expedition. Once you get used to them though, you will appreciate the support and protection they provide.

A breathable hat is another item you may want to purchase. A hat with a wide brim will protect the top of your head from getting sunburned (which really does hurt by the way) and also protects your ears, face and hair from the damaging rays of the sun. I put my hair up in my hat and it helps keep pesky gnats away. Speaking of sun, you will need sunblock for any exposed skin. I am not an expert on SPF or what skin types need what, but that information is readily available on the internet or you can ask your pharmacist. Take the heeds seriously about skin cancer and the dangers of over-exposure to the sun.

I have always had a low body self-image, therefore, I do not wear shorts or sleeveless shirts. I am working on that, but you would be better off not taking advice from me on what to wear outside. If I had my way, I would have on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved flannel. Try advice from an outdoorsy friend on what is the most comfortable. If the weather is hot, be sure to wear something that breathes and absorbs sweat to keep you cooler.

No matter how long you plan to hike, it helps to take a few things in a sturdy backpack. If you have any allergies or breathing issues, be sure to always take your medicine. The last thing you want to do is get out in the woods and find you do not have your rescue inhaler or other medicines. Obviously, if you are allergic to stings, be sure to take your Epi-pen. Just knowing you have the precautionary items you may need can go a long way to easing your mind and allowing you to have fun.

This may be over-kill, but I take along a small first-aid kit in my backpack. It contains bandages, antiseptic cleaners, a Benadryl Itch Relief Stick (for bug bites), burn gel in case of sunburn, miscellaneous gauze pads, medical tape, a pair of tweezers (for slivers or thorns), antibiotic ointment, and tissues (which can be used for any number of emergencies). You can add or subtract from this list as you see fit. I get all my first aid supplies at http://www.firstaidonly.com, but you can just go to your local drugstore and get what you need.

The next items to throw in your backpack are water and snacks. Remember you have to stay hydrated when you are outside, especially in the heat. Take a couple of bottles of water with you. If you do not like the taste of water alone, you can buy take-along flavor additives. Gatorade, Crystal Light, Kool-Aid are just some of the companies out there who make these wonderful, easy-to-carry packets of drink mix that are perfect for a single water bottle. Granola bars, whole wheat crackers, dried fruit, trail mix are all good ideas of snacks to take with you. Especially in the beginning, it may not take long to tire you out and you will want to have some energy foods. Chocolate and sweets are not the best way to go in this situation, as the energy burst is not sustained. That is why whole grains are a good choice, their energy lasts. You are hiking to feel better, right? Might as well eat healthy snacks too.

Another item I pack in my backpack is a small, personal fan that runs on batteries. I know, I am such a baby. I tend to get over-heated very easily. Taking a short break, drinking some water and cooling my face have extended the amount of time I can be outside. Let’s face it, if you are used to sitting in air conditioning, hiking in the sun is going to take its toll at first. Be a little easy on yourself in the beginning and take those items with you that can create a bit of comfort. You can also buy neck wraps which you cool overnight in the freezer; they stay cool all day and help dissipate heat which helps keep heat stroke at bay. They are reusable also and may be a good investment for your hiking arsenal.

Don’t forget your cell phone in case of emergencies or to take pictures of the beautiful scenery you will be experiencing. A lightweight flashlight is a good idea. Lastly, you will need to take an open mind. Being outside in nature can seem overwhelming at first, but once you get used to the song birds singing, the humming of wings flapping in the wind, the smell of flowers, the cool breeze that comes just when you need it most, and the unbelievable peace you can experience outdoors it will all be worth it. Plus, you just may feel better!! Happy Hiking!!