By Lois Hewitt

Today my thoughts wondered, as they often do, to the past.  I thought about all my mistakes and the wrong turns I took.

I wished I could go back and do it all again.  Oh, the things I would stay clear of and the things I would embrace.

I thought about how I would act different and speak better and write more.  I would not care what the world thinks of me.

I would quit apologizing for absolutely everything. I would lose the guilt because I would do everything right.

I would stay in school and learn all I could. A real diploma would be in my hand.

I would work and save money. I would know the value of things and not just spend for the sake of spending.

Oh if only I could go back and do it again.  Then I thought…

Without all the missteps, what would I have learned?  They taught me more than any classroom. If I went back and lived an opposite live, would I be any better off than I am today?

I might have more money,  retirement plan, maybe a house, things probably.  But what kind of person would I be without the mistakes and the humility?

I kinda like the person in the mirror. She is quirky and scarred but not all that bad.  The experiences we live through, even if it’s just barely, mold us and shape who we are.

The person I was 10, 20 or 30 years ago, I am not today.  Much better I would say. Still not without flaws. So a different life then would mean a different life now and I’m not sure I would like that.

I certainly do not have all the trappings of a successful life (by the world’s terms) but I feel blessed beyond measure without those things.  Life is more than stuff. 

After I pondered on what my life would look like had I done things differently, I concluded that it may not have worked out as well as I think.

So today I will embrace the past, one which showed me the True Path.  I will embrace the today me and look forward to more growth.  I will embrace all that I have and be content with all that I don’t have. 

I guess it’s a good thing we can’t go back.  How would today look if we did?  Embrace who you are today and love that person.  They walked through hot coals to get here and they deserve some respect.

Embrace the old you for the lessons they taught, embrace the current you for you are a warrior and embrace the you to come. 

By Lois Hewitt

Sunday thoughts.

Today I am thinking about all kinds of things, mind racing from one subject to another.  Anxiety building, but I need to stop and remember…

No matter the wants in my life, I have all my needs….God is good!

No matter if I am tired or run down, I have energy enough to keep going…God is good!

No matter the cares of the world that I cannot control, He is in control….God is good!

No matter that I miss loved ones, they are in His loving arms and there is no better place…God is good!

I’m so blessed every day.  I have learned the healing power of gratitude. Entitlement brings sorrow.  Gratitude brings true peace.

I have now been around long enough to have seen God’s goodness. Yes, pain still exists.  Trauma is commonplace.  That’s man, not God.  Things have happened to me and by my own hands…that’s man, not God.

God has intervened, set me on a right course even if I was kicking and screaming. My prayer today is for those who cannot, will not, absolutely refuse the presence of God to feel His peaceful presence. He can tame the storms in our lives. His blessings are worth more than gold and silver.

Life with Him is not an easy one, but it is so amazing.  His mercy, grace and peace know no bounds. Today I chose gratitude and that choice changes all things.

By Lois Hewitt

We are officially in my favorite season.  The Gratitude Season.  I’m thankful all year but even more so now…

Summer’s warmth brings an ease to life.  Colder weather means frozen pipes, frosted windshields, icy roads and snow. It is a time to pray for protection and to be thankful for it.

Summer brings fresh fruits and vegetables. Winter’s harvest is different. I’m thankful for the root vegetables and winter harvests. Thankful always for the abundant bounty we know in this country.

Summer’s days are long and warm. Winter days are shorter and colder.  I’m thankful for the early darkness for it is best suited for a cup of hot tea and a good book, and a Bible Study.

Summer’s clothing is loose and free. I am thankful for my warm leggings, sweater, scarf and coat.  I love dressing for the cold.

Summer is easier in so many ways and greatful I am for the light and warmth provided.  I tend to not need as much in summer.

Fall and winter remind me that my bounty and protection come from God above.  That my light in the darkness, literal and figurative, comes from God above.  That my comforts come from God above.

Grateful, I try to be always, the gifts so freely given.  But my needs grow greater as the ease of summer fades for the season.  More care I need as difficulties arise. 

A reminder that I depend 1000% on the Creator of all things. I see the bounty even in times of want.  I thank Him in times of fear.  I praise Him when my heart is breaking. 

Complaints were my mainstay for decades past. Misery my closest friend.  Those days, gratefully, gone and replaced with gratitude for all things here and now as well as things waiting.

Today I sit in wonder of the gifts.  The only real gift we are to be given is freedom from eternal death through the blood of Jesus.  No other gifts are required.

But in His goodness, He continues to care for us even through our sin and disobedience. I am thankful for all He gives and for all He holds back.  My need draws me closer to Him.  In His arms, I find all I need.

Praise God today. Sometimes all we see is what we don’t have.  When we need to focus on all we do have.  He is sufficient my friend. Hold strong to His truths. He will see us through!

By Lois Hewitt

I had to remember this today. Maybe you need it too..

A few years ago I left the only home I knew.  With only the possessions that fit in the car.  The only money in my pocket was from friends and family.

I (actually we) had no place to live, no jobs to go to and no plan other than to “drive to a new life”.  It’s not as romantic as it sounds.

We drove and drove still not sure what to do as we watched the money fade.  Fear really took over.

But guess what?  God had a plan. We didn’t, but He did.  We had no hint or preview of such things, but things did indeed happened. We started to see doors open.

I had all but given up. But God had a plan!! 

Now we live a life that never entered my imagination.  Because God had a plan.

Is every day full of cotton candy and unicorns?  No, but now I know God’s plan is good.  Not easy but good,  no great!

You can’t possibly know where the road you are on will take you.  There are twists and turns ahead that you cannot see.  Just remember… God has a plan.  It may not be the one you dreamed of…but He has a plan. 

Stay strong my friend!  God’s goodness is immeasurable. 

By Lois Hewitt

Ok…a short one today…

If Jesus is your savior…

It may not feel like it…
But you have a warrior’s strength.

It may not seem like it…
But you ARE making progress.

It might be difficult to see…
But you are beautiful.

You might not know it…
You are loved.
You are talented.
You are generous.
You are amazing.
You are a hero.
You have a Godly purpose.

You are made in God’s image. Think about that for a moment.

Don’t let ANYONE tell you different or take away God’s blessings. Look to Him, not to man.

By Lois Hewitt

As Christians, we must be aware that the world watches us to see how we live. Even more than what we say.  We are to show the world how Jesus impacts our life.

Man, do I fall short.  When I was much younger and a new Christian, I thought we were called to be perfect.

Perfect clothes, perfect house, perfect car, perfect family and I, of course, failed to be perfect.

As I learned more I realized that I can’t be perfect. If I was, I would have no need for grace, mercy and forgiveness. So then I just tried to be good. 

Now come on, how hard could that be?  Impossible. I tried to be good but I was doing it for me. The accolades and boosting words. My intent was all wrong.

So I learned a little more and figured I could use all my flaws to show how I have been redeemed.  Closer now, but not quite right.  Because I somehow thought all the stupidity was in my past, part of my testimony.

I was thinking not that I was now perfect but closer.  Never gonna happen.

People look at others and can see right through the facade of perfection. That doesn’t further God’s kingdom.

Being good isn’t bad but if your motives (like mine at the time) are not sincere, no progress for God’s Kingdom.

A moving testimony can further God’s kingdom but how are you living day to day? 

That’s where I got caught up recently.  Then I noticed that no matter what I did, I kept making mistakes and I was very frustrated with myself.  I began to think that I might be ill and I got depressed and anxious.

Today I cried at work thinking I was either sick or dumb (maybe both) and I realized it. These are the times the world watches. Not when you are on the mountain top. When you are full of self-doubt and frustration is when what you believe comes out.

That’s what the world wants to know…how do you act when life just isn’t working. So today I blew it because I ended up getting mad. But then I stopped and realized my reaction was based solely on me when I should have been looking up.

Maybe that’s it!  It’s not perfection.  It’s not being good.  It’s not beating yourself up.  It’s about looking to God always but especially in the times of doubt.  I can wish myself to do the right thing … Ain’t happening.  But I can pray for strength to do the right thing. Not just for me but for those watching.

I cannot do this life thing on my own power. I need power from God. I need the teachings and forgiveness of Jesus. And I need the filling of the Holy Spirit to bring it all together.

I get it now. It’s not easy to figure out unless you are on your knees. Stay strong today my friend. The world is watching how we live. If we live for God, we give them something to see!

By Lois Hewitt

As I sit in this room all alone, the only sound I hear, the second hand of the old wall clock.

Out the window, the leaves have turned a crayon box of colors. 

The sun is shining brightly this day.  The air has a chill about her.

Outside my window, though I cannot see, is a world full of anger and defeat.

How can that be from the view I currently see?  Well the world is a large place and myself am very small.

Many days I fear for things I think might happen and things I can’t comprehend.

Many days I see only blight and sorrow. Many days my heart beats so fast and the reason I do not know. Fear is my guess.

Many years ago I met a met a man named Joe. Joe introduced me to another man named Jesus.

The day I met Joe I was a mess.  Mistakes were made I must confess.

Joe told me about Jesus and His forgiving power and, although it took years, Jesus has become my best friend and so much more.

The view I see from my window today, the leaves in their cycle and sound of the time ticking away time are but a reminder that this is not permanent. But that there is a more glorious place coming where I can meet my friend Jesus. I’m sure Joe will be there too and so many others I miss.

This quiet time quieted my heart and reminded me of a time coming. A reminder to not be faint of heart, for we all have a friend who can calm the storms and heal all ills.  My friend Jesus came for everyone.  His love knows no bounds.

By Lois Hewitt

Struggling. Seems like it is the human condition.  I vowed at the beginning of this year that I would get more focused on the important things in my life. I decided that time was getting shorter and I wanted to do more enriching things.

I started using an online Bible study which has been wonderful, I started an intentional prayer journal (not just “I pray for everyone. Amen), I made workable cleaning lists (daily, monthly and half-year), my menu planning and grocery shopping plan works great, a journal/planner that is top notch and I scheduled my work to fit my new organized life.  Sounds great doesn’t it. It has taken a lot of work and dedication.

But guess what?  I’m still struggling…to focus, to read my Bible, to write with consistency, to be as productive as I want to be.

How can I have all these tools and still not be doing the things I want to be doing?  I’m not going to blame it all on external circumstances because I know I am to blame but we all have to realize that there are a lot of distractions out there that want to keep us from focusing.

I am horrible at looking at social media for too long every day.  It’s a distraction that I am starting to think is way more dangerous than one would think. I barely focus anymore. I can’t read an entire chapter in one sitting. When I’m doing things, I’m thinking about the next things I’m going to do.

So here I am trying to live intentionally and I’m intentionally sabotaging my mind.  Television used to do the same thing. I used to turn on the television when I woke up and not turn it off until I went to bed.

Maybe I thought the noise would drown out the depressive thoughts.  Maybe I thought the noise would keep my anxiety at bay.  Maybe I thought it would keep my mind off my anger.

All the distractions really did was arode away at my concentration skills (which have always been sketchy at best).

It is possible to “do all the right things” and still be struggling. Distractions come in many forms and many seem innocent enough. 

So today if you are feeling distracted or not motivated, you are not alone. Just look around at everyone on their phones…while driving (very scary), while shopping, in lines, walking, just about everywhere. We have become slaves to our devices.  They now own us.

Today I promised myself that I would do better. To find peace and comfort in my common duties, to put the phone down and actually read something I don’t have to scroll through, to rest in peace and quiet.

The world we live in is a noisy place. It wants to divide our attentions. But to live intentionally we must be intentional.  This lesson is one I need to learn. I thought all the tools would be the saving grace. But it all really starts with our mind, doesn’t it.

Don’t feel bad for your struggling. I think most of us are experiencing it to some extent.  Let’s try to clear our minds a bit. And see if that helps being focus back into focus.

Please don’t let all the noise take away your peace. In this crazy world we live in, we need a peaceful mind.  It will help deal with all the things going on and all the distractions. We can do this, my friend.  Living intentional is not just a saying, it is a purpose we should strive for.  Peace and comfort in these uncertain times is my prayer for you. 

By Lois Hewitt

Bark. Bark.  Bark.  My neighbor’s dog barks incessantly throughout the day.  I’m home a lot because I have anxiety about going out. I also have issue with noise. So when this new dog appeared I started to fret about the barking.

At first I handled it ok.  But as the weekdays rolled into my precious weekend, my nerves started to get twitchy.  I began pacing and scratching my hands. Old behaviors from my depressed days.

Bark. Bark. Bark.  Then silence.  I thought someone had come to my rescue. As fast as it stopped, it started again.

I tried to rationalize that the dog was bored or lonely.  I tried to say it’s in a new place and might be scared. All to no avail.  I was getting angry.

Anger and I are old enemies. I hate my ability to go from zero to totally outraged in about 2 seconds. I am working on this because it is not who I want to be. I prayed for quiet and that did not happen so I prayed to learn something from this…

So I’m standing in my kitchen window watching this dog literally barking at nothing. My anxiety is starting to peak and it dawned on me.  This is nothing in the scale of problems. The world is spiraling out of control at an unprecedented rate.  Hatred is everywhere. God is public enemy #1 to many people. I needed to get a grip on myself, look outside myself and let it go.  And I was able to.

Many times in my life I have heard a resounding “No” from God.  Can I have a baby? No.  Can You get me out from under the mess I made of my life? No.  Can You just take me tonight because I don’t think I can handle another day?  No.  Can you make that dog stop barking?  No, my child, there is a lesson to learn in every struggle.

I hate lessons.  Mine seem to go on for decades. I guess I am slow to learn.  But in retrospect, I see the No’s were better than any yes could have been.  I needed to not have my way.  My way was digging me deeper and deeper into a hole I was having trouble getting out of until I gave it to God. Then the slow process of healing started. Today I can look in the mirror and not hate the reflection I see. 

So what did I learn from a barking dog?  It’s not always about me and my comfort level.  I can actually control my anger contrary to my previous belief.  I need to look around and appreciate what I have even if it’s not perfect. That’s a lot learned from a simple No to my request.

I get it, it hurts to not have things go the way you think they should. I hurts when your heart is set on something but it doesn’t happen.  It hurts to be lost wondering what to do next. It’s hard to not be in control.

In my life, I have seen the paths I choose. They ain’t pretty. So now I gladly go where God sends me. Many times that path is an answer No.  And I’m grateful because He always knows what is best.

I have learned that No is not a punishment. It is a true act of love.  I know it’s hard, my friend, but love can be tough especially when it removes you from a wrong path. Don’t give up.  I almost did but I am so glad I stuck around to see it through.

By Lois Hewitt

Struggles…there are so many in life.  Worries and fear, the same. The world screams for you to “live your best life” but you don’t know what that even means.  Your heart is heavy.  Your hands are clenched.  Your teeth grind.  Your stomach churns.  You are too tired to even cry one more tear.

There are seasons in life that leave us confounded. They leave us off balance and wondering what we even believe. Sometimes the struggle isn’t even ours, but we feel it anyway.

I lived under the veil of depression for many years. I smiled when I needed to and fell apart when I could.  I watched as hope slipped through my fingers like grains of sand. But then in the darkness a light shined bright.

My faith in Jesus sees me through. It was not easy and it did not happen overnight.  But it can happen. 

Today’s world is scary. I can’t lie about that. Many people truly hate God and everything that has to do with religion.  I’ve had my struggles with religious folk.  Not every one is going to like us and vice versa, that will happen in all sectors not just in religious ones. I have learned, however, that my strength and my love comes from my faith.

As I try to maneuver through the life we all live right now, I know I will be hated.  But if I am hated for His name, I am blessed. 

The words I write are not meant to “convert”, they are meant to encourage. I, like all of us, have struggled, worried and feared in my life (I still do), but I have found peace in the chaos through a relationship with the Savior. He grounds me and feeds my soul.

So if you are struggling today, I implore you to look to Jesus for His healing water and His comfort.  Prayer is easy, just talk to Him.  He already knows you.  Nothing you have done is bad enough to keep you from Him.  Just talk or just sit in silence. He knows your thoughts and heart.

Sounds too mystical, doesn’t it.  I used to think that also.  But He has brought me through some intense trials and now I lean on His understanding always.  Jesus loves all of us.  The world is out of control, but He knows things we cannot comprehend. Place your trust in Him, my friend, for He will be faithful to His children. Don’t give up, there is hope.