By Lois Hewitt

Lent: Living Without Thanklessness

I saw a post that said today was Thankful Thursday.  I really liked the sentiment so I decided every Thursday will be Thankful.  All days should be but I want to make one day that!

I got to thinking how do we show gratitude. I thought of a couple ways.  I want to thank those around me who enrich my life. Those people are so easy to take for granted. They always show up, they always have your back and we can overlook their contributions very easily. 

As I go about my daily common duties, I want to randomly give thanks for things not on my normal gratitude list.

Thank you for dishes to wash.  Thank you for warm socks.  Thank you for toothpaste. Thank you for lemons. Thank you for not letting me win the lottery (i’d turn into a real jerk).  And the like.

I try to pray my gratitude list every night before I fall asleep. I usually fall asleep during that prayer so I will try to be better. I will also add a gratitude line in my planner.

I want to thank those who help my life. The person who pulls my groceries because I get anxiety grocery shopping. I order on line and a wonderful person does my shopping. I really need to thank them.

I need to thank those who help me spiritually.  I have several people who help me in my Christian walk.  This walk is not an easy one and anyone who tries it alone will value those who help.

I just want to be thankful.  Many years of my life had been spent moaning and groaning about what I didn’t have.  What was missing in my life.  My thanklessness made me toxic. It is a deadly disease that kills everything in its path.

Then I was re-introduced to Jesus and He took that toxic shell and cleaned it up, polished it and made it like new. He gave me a second (third, fourth, and on) chance in this life and gave me the ultimate gift of eternal life with Him.

That may sound crazy and far-fetched but the reality is I was on a path to destruction and He grabbed me off that road before I got to the dead end.

He has changed me and I should never be thankless again.  I know, however, the days lie in wait, the ones where you think you have been abandoned. The days nothing goes right and life hurts so bad.

Those days, I want to be the most thankful. They remind me that I cannot do this life alone and that I have Jesus to run to.

As I look at my life, past and present and not knowing about tomorrow, I cannot help but be brimming over with gratitude. I have so many more blessings today. Yesterday was full of useless stuff. Today is overflowing with all I need and all I could want.  Gifts from above.

This Lent, I am banishing thanklessness.  Gratitude is mine for all the gifts that fill my life here and in eternity.

One last heartfelt thank you.. To everyone who reads the words I write. The idea that anyone would take the time to read these posts, fills me with the utmost gratitude.  A writer longs to be read, I am so blessed by all of you!  Thank you so very much!

By Lois Hewitt

Rest.  The concept of rest has long evaded me.  Racing thoughts, anxiety and grief have filled me in the night hours.

All the time strategizing how to fix the ills of the world, how to right the wrongs and how to live with the guilt I carry.

Visions shown, on t.v. and social media, of the world with injustice, hatred, and violence, no end in sight, no resolution seen.

A world spinning out of control by unseen forces that have personal agendas that do not serve for good.

How can you rest in such chaos?  How can you not fear?

Meet Jesus.

He calls for the weak and heavy laden to come to Him and He alone will give them rest. 

He calls us to pray without ceasing and He will walk with us through the uncertainty and darkness.

He promises to never leave His children.  He is a constant presence in their lives.

The closer I draw to Him, the more peace I feel.  The more gratitude I feel.  The more love i feel.

He, alone, will be the Victor when the final scene is played. He will show His strength and His power as He rights the wrongs in days to come.

But here and now, I will place my trust in Him. I will seek His face. I will honor Him no matter who tries to sway me differently. I will run to Him, drop at His feet and find the rest I so desperately need.

He has rest for you too!  Pray and seek His face.  He will show you another way…His way. 

By Lois Hewitt

As I stated in an earlier post, this Lent season, I am getting rid of those things that are inhibiting my relationship with Jesus and hurting my overall wellness.

Guilt has long been my daily companion.  As I child, I took on every wrong that happened around me.  As an adult, I lived with the guilt of the things I said and did.

I beat myself up.  I lost many nights of sleep.  I overthought and over compensated for my failures. My guilt made me sick and toxic.

As I started to study more about Christianity, I realized that Jesus does not cause guilt, in fact He is the answer to guilt.  We are made aware of our sins by the Holy Spirit in a way in which we acknowledge the sins, repent and work on being better.

The idea of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins, makes feeling on-going guilt like a slight against the salvation we are so freely given.

So where then does guilt come from?  Guilt is a tool that is used to manipulate and control.  It degrades your sense of self-worth and keeps you in a state of beholding.

There is a definite difference between being aware and repenting of our sins and living under a constant weight of shame and guilt. Jesus does not want His children drowning in a sea of unworthiness. He wants us to acknowledge our sin, ask for forgiveness and pray for strength to overcome.

You cannot overcome when there is a heavy, hard and cold weight around your neck or if the weight of the world is heavy on your shoulders.

Jesus came to show us the true way.  He does, indeed, show us our sins but He also shows us a way to have victory. You can’t have victory if you don’t forgive yourself.

It’s good to have remorse. Many times I learned how not to behave from the remorse I have felt.  It spurred me on to be better. Guilt never gave me anything positive to aid in healing. It inhibits healing.

Now I see the difference between sincere remorse and guilt. I now know where to go with my remorse. I am going to do the wrong things and I am going to say wrong things, humans are flawed. But if you can take the responsibility for your shortcomings and drop them at the foot of the cross, something of a positive nature can happen.

Guilt, in and of itself, never leads to anything positive. It doesn’t change outcomes.  It holds us back.  Guilt says I don’t trust Jesus to able to cleanse me. 

We all have guilt.  You cannot walk this land without it. But you do not have to be under its control. If you want to get better, to be better, you (and I) have to lose the guilt. Go to the cross, sincerely repent with the utmost gratitude for the gift of forgiveness and learn from what has transpired.

Guilt does not make us better. Guilt spurs knee-jerk over corrections that usually make things worse. Jesus died because of our sinful nature. Today I want to honor that sacrifice by giving up on the guilt and falling on my knees at His feet.

By Lois Hewitt

Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the season of Lent that culminates with the most holy, most joyous day, Easter. This year my Lent is going to be a little different.

The idea many of us know about Lent is giving something up for 40 days.  With idea that this deprivation, for lack of a better word, is meant to draw you closer to God.

I used to think this was just about not having candy or ice cream or alcohol or cigarettes.  It used to really mean nothing to me because I did not understand it.  I placed my Lent withdrawals in the same basket as my new years resolutions…never seen through and just a worthless experiment.

Now I know what it is like to pursue a relationship with God.  I want to be close to Him.  I understand so much more the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made on the cross.  Easter, to me, is no longer about bunnies and baskets but about blood and sacrifice and redemption.

So if Lent is meant to bring us closer to God, that’s what I am going to do.  But it is in a different way than just not eating candy or ice cream.  I don’t say this is radical in a worldly sense but it is for me.

I’m going to treat myself like I treat other people.  For example, I have noticed that I serve my husband’s dinner on a real plate and I serve my dinner on a plastic plate.  I sometimes do not feel worthy of a regular plate. Now just saying it out loud, it sounds crazy.  But I do it and have done it for years.

I sometimes don’t even allow myself to sit down to eat.  If Mike is going to be home late, I eat over the sink, standing up.

I try to overlook other’s mistakes while I hyper-focus on my own.

I think what I’m trying to say is that this Lent Season, I want to value myself a bit more. Let up on the harsh critques of myself. I don’t say I need anything from anyone else, what I am going to do is treat myself like a child of God.

It has nothing to do with buying myself flowers or anything else in that popular song.  It has nothing to do with how other people treat me, the people around me treat me much better than I treat myself. 

This isn’t an ego thing. See that’s what I’m telling myself right now as I write this. I’m going to be selfish this year for Lent, what an ego!  But it is not about that. It is about feeling worthy. It is about feeling value.

For the next 40 days I will try to let go of my negative self-talk.  I will try not to call myself stupid or ugly or untalented. I will try to give up just being mean to myself. I would never treat anyone else the way I treat myself.

My hope is that in 40 days I will be a better person, I will have used the time to commune with God and I emerge a few steps closer to who I want to be.  Maybe I will decide it’s not so bad being nice to myself.

Maybe I will buy flowers for myself…nope, not going to happen. But that’s okay. I just want to be kinder to me. 

I think we could all be a little nicer to ourselves. If you want to try it, I encourage you. We are usually our own worse enemies. Let’s change that narrative, shall we?

By Lois Hewitt

An unexpected day off…what to do? 

Changes in plans, especially short notice, tend to tail-spin me a little bit. But knowing ahead of time causes me to over-think. I can’t seem to win.

I plan my schedule so that I can easily keep up with work, cooking and home chores. I admit I’m a bit regimented. Okay. Maybe more than a bit.

Some days it feels as if all the planning and re-planning is ruining my life. Spontaneity freaks me out. But isn’t being spontaneous a joy in life?  Yes, one I can’t seem to enjoy.

I find comfort in schedules and routines. Knowing what to expect puts me at ease.  I find myself constantly looking at the time because I have a plan that needs followed.

Today with my unexpected day off, I realized that maybe the rigid structure from which I live, might be unhealthy for me.  In my desperate search for stability, I have created my own prison.

I was a chaotic youth and that behavior followed me into adulthood.  As I have matured, I found myself longing for stability. The only way I know to have that is with structure.

Like a building (a structure), I feel as I have constructed myself in such a way that I can withstand storms and outside chaos. But the problem with being like a building is you learn to only bend enough not to break.  You must have some give but enough to topple.  But my foundation is weak.

That is why Jesus calls His followers to build their faith on the rock.  The rock is the rigid, unmoving foundation. Jesus never moves, never changes.  He is where we plant our feet when the storms start to rage. 

Are we called to be our own foundation?  No way.  My own foundation would be like building a house on quicksand. If I depended on my own strength and abilities to stand strong against the world’s gale force winds, it would not be long before the whole thing simply sank into the ground.

I have lived under my own power before and the results of that experience were devastating. Giving up control is so hard to do, but it is one of the best gifts we can experience.

When you give it all to Jesus, He does the carrying of the burdens.  He is the one who relieves the worries. Oh how I long to give up the weight on my shoulders and carry His yoke, which is lighter.

If you feel burdened today with all the worries life likes to pile on you, there is a better way. It’s not always easy to let go, but Jesus calls us, the tired (from trying to do it all) and heavy laden to go to Him for rest.

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

His peace defies expectation. Join me today as I cast my worries and cares on Him. Today I will loosen my grip on my life and start to see a life filled with peace. Troubles may not disappear but you will not be the only one trying to hold life together.

His love for us is real.  He longs to bear the burden. Life is difficult even on the seemingly perfect days.  Don’t try to maneuver it alone.  For you are never alone.

By Lois Hewitt

I wanted so much to be a cheerleader in high school.  They were the coolest.  But I had a long list of deficiencies that did not allow for that to happen.  Being uncoordinated and clumsy were not prerequisites for cheering.

It took me a long time, but I finally realized that I can be a cheerleader right now.  What does a cheerleader do?  They encourage the home team to win games.  They encourage the fans to support the home team.  They are encouragers.

Each of us have that ability inside.  Luckily it does not require high kicks or doing the splits (or as I call it breaking a hip).  The cheerleading I am talking about does not even require much physical activity.

Encouraging words may not seem like something that can change the world…but they can. In the same way negativity kills.

We all have dreams.  Some real and some more fanciful.  Not every dream or idea can become a reality.  The world is quick to point out the flaws in your plan.  Point out how the idea could never work.  Discouraging.

Of course, one cannot encourage ideas that are dangerous in any way.  Like all things in life there is a fine line we all have to walk.

What I am talking about is a more personal type of dream. Not jumping off a cliff, although some people do that successfully (can’t imagine the encouraging words the cliff jumpers heard) but more like a desire to learn the guitar or to paint.

Many times our concerns turn to how to make money. Not that we are greedy, but many of us do live paycheck to paycheck without any safety net. If I decide to be a writer (my big dream), the likelihood of having a future of homelessness and hunger would be pretty good.  I realize that I should not quit my day jobs. I do, however, receive many encouraging words spurred from my rantings and those sentiments fill my soul beyond belief.

So it is with others, they may not quit their jobs to become singers, but they may enjoy an extra chorus of Moonriver in the shower. Maybe the encouragement gets them the strength to go to karaoke night. Maybe that little adventure feeds their soul. And it came from a few simple words of encouragement.

As Christians, Jesus calls us to be encouragers. We are told many times to choose our words wisely and to say nothing that is harmful. His example is one of encouragement and love.

I find it to be so important to acknowledge strides others have made or compliment someone regarding a goal reached. These words can ease the pain of disappointments experienced along the way and be affirming of additional strides to come. All must be said with a genuine and sincere heart.

I never was a cheerleader in high school (and that’s okay…now) but I have the opportunity to be a cheerleader every day. Don’t forget those closest to you.  We tend to forget they need encouraged just like anyone else, maybe more so.

Will it change the world?  Probably not but a kind and encouraging word can change an individual’s world.  And that is a most beautiful thing!

By Lois Hewitt

It’s the mid 1980s and I’m in my mid 20’s. Newly divorced and ready to Mary-Tyler-Moore the world…make my own way and all that.  It was the time to go…vegetarian!

For years I worried about the rainforest and the whales.  I wrote letters to Congress about environmental issues. I wrote checks to Greenpeace.  And I felt eating meat was destroying the planet, so I stopped.

My idea of a healthy breakfast, at that time, was a Coke in a glass bottle and a couple of Pop-Tarts.  Basically I knew nothing about nutrition. The only vegetable I liked was corn, so I ate bowls of corn, all the time thinking I was now a vegetarian.

Needless to say, this was a very unhealthy trend.  It wasn’t long until I was off the wagon, so to speak, and was in full-blown food addiction for many years to follow.

I did marry a real vegetarian a couple years later but I never really grasped the lifestyle fully. I wanted my fast food and my junk food. I could not seem to stop and my health reflected my lifestyle.

I could barely go three weeks without a sick day.  I looked worse than normal. My emotions were all over the place.  I was angry, quite literally, all the time.  I was miserable for decades.

The years before 2020, were spent mostly dining out.  Not only is that unhealthy for your body, it also makes your wallet ill.  We were spending loads of money we didn’t have to eat food that made us sick.

Then came the lockdown and I was afraid, because of my health, to go anywhere. That’s when I reconnected with Jesus and I started to learn and research how to eat and how to heal. 

This will be my fourth year of being a true vegetarian, well 95% of the time anyway.  I could never have dreamed that I could change.  I never dreamed I could feel better.  Now, I have damaged my body over the years with what I ate and the alcohol but the improvement is astonishing!

Last year I think we dined out less than 10 times the entire year.  That and cooking from scratch has eased the burden of bill paying too. Truly win-win.

So why do I bring this up?  I, and a few other people, thought I was a lost cause. I tried half-baked ideas (like the all corn diet) and always failed…until the day I didn’t.

Am I now perfect?  Oh my friend, so far from that but I’m better and I’m getting even more better (sorry that’s terrible grammar lol).  If a lost cause, like me, can heal and change, so can anyone.

All I can say is do NOT give up on yourself. You want to heal and be better?  It is inside you!  You are SO much stronger than you know.

Failure is part of the process. Lessons learned from failures are the ones that stick like glue. You remember them and they push you to that better place.

The only failures are those who never tried.  Be strong and know you are a warrior. You can be healed!  You can feel well again!

My faith in Jesus has spurred many of these positive changes. Do not be afraid to examine His teachings.  The world we live in discounts faith, but the world isn’t living my life and therefore that opinion has no relevance for me.  He saved me, literally and figuratively, and He longs to do the same for you. All you have to do is open your heart.

By Lois Hewitt

Wonder…feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.

Wonder sounds amazing, doesn’t it?  I remember the wonder I had as a child for a new box of crayons, they were magical and beautiful to me.  I remember the wonder I had running through the freshly cut grass on a summers day.  I had wonder for so many things.

Then life sort of pushed wonder out of the picture. I didn’t feel much like having wonder. Somewhere along the way I gave up on having it again.

I had happiness and enjoyed beauty but I learned to not be surprised by it. I didn’t look far outside my bubble for it either.  I became complacent.

In my life, complacency killed wonder. I was so used to being overwhelmed all the time, I shut down in order to just function.  I have learned this is not unique to me, but many people feel the same.

Every morning I get up and make breakfast for my husband and myself. To do that I have to go out on our porch to dump old coffee grinds over the railing. Our little basement apartment has the most spectacular view of the nearby mountains.

On this particular morning just a few days ago, I stepped out to see the most beautiful array of colors in the sky.  Colors that reminded me of a new box of crayons.

Pinks, purples and blues filled the sky with the amazing outline of majestic mountain tops.  I stood not too long and was greeted by the most glorious beams of yellow sunlight.

The temperature was chilly and the gentle touches of sunlight warmed my skin instantly.

The entire thing took less than a minute but it left me breathless.  As I walked back into the apartment, I thought about the last time I was really caught up in the wonder of this beautiful world.

Focusing on troubles and discontentment is so easy to do nowadays. It is everywhere.  I write a lot about how despondent I become when my view is on the happenings of the world.

Aware, we must be. But maybe too aware is not always good.  I have found focusing on the negativity stifles wonder. Fear stifles wonder.  Anger stifles wonder.  Exhaustion stifles wonder.

God created the most amazing sun rises. Their show plays out every single day and I thought of how many passed without earning any of my attention.  Too many I am afraid to say.

How many bird songs have I missed?  How many flowers have gone unnoticed?  How many chances to see the beauty in my fellow man lost because I had my head down thinking of my to do list.

As I get older, my soul longs for wonder.  I want to be in awe again.  Even my relationship with Jesus went through a desert season.  I did not have wonder and awe for all He has done for me and all the beauty He provides every day.

I want to linger in my life now.  I want to drink in the beauty. I want to be childlike when I see a bird or a flower. I want to be in awe of people and not afraid. 

I want to be in awe of my God who brings forth a bounty of goodness every day.  When I say God is awesome, I need to mean it and not just say the words. I need to feel the awesomeness and fall in love with the wonder.

Jaded, I have been too long. Now is the time to release those feelings in exchange for wonder and awe. What a sweeter life it shall be to see the beauty all around.  Amazing, I feel better already!

Let the wonder of God’s gifts and goodness cover you like a blanket, warm and safe and cozy.  Let’s bring wonder back!

By Lois Hewitt

Where is my hat?  I cut my hair today…very badly I must say.  Professional haircuts are few and far between in my world.

I have a myriad of phobias that go with haircuts…don’t like being touched, feeling judged for my lack of concern over how I look and just an overall anxiety about my bumpy head.

The last professional cut I had was probably right around late 2020.  Seems longer though.

Most of my life, I have fretted over my looks and hated everything about them. I’ve been too thin, too fat, bad teeth, thin hair, a cockeyed smile, bit fingernails…i have just never been thrilled with my looks or sense (or lack) of style.

Now that I’m older, it’s much easier. I’m not trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations. I’m really more about comfort now.

In my youth, it was more about ego and how things looked on the outside. With age, comes the glorious realization that youth and beauty fade.  It is and always has been about what’s on the inside.

Unfortunately for many years my insides were as messed up as my outsides. That’s a bad combination.

I used to read little pick me ups that spoke about how I was made in God’s image and how much He loved me. How could He love all the ugly?

What I didn’t know was that inside of me was a beautiful soul, everyone has one, but not everyone knows it.  I did not for a long time.

Once I allowed myself to believe that, my life changed. No longer was I envious of others.  No longer did I use a skewed ruler to measure myself.  No longer were my expectations out of reach.  Finally peace.

God so loved us, each and every one of us, He gave His Son to die for our sins. In His physical death, He bore our ugliness and took it to the grave.  When He rose up on that Sunday, He left behind His bruised and battered body and our bruised and battered bodies also.

Anewed we are through the blood!  What a joyous gift!

Today, if you are not feeling very pretty or feel like you don’t live up to some unrealistic metric, think about this.

You were, most definitely, made in the image of God.  God never makes mistakes. We are all different. Beauty is very subjective.  Accept yourself and when you do, you will experience a peace that transcends all the other hype.  It is beautiful, just like you are! Please start believing it today!

With that said, in all my self-awareness, I’m still going to need that hat until my hair grows back. But that’s ok, I’m ok with it.

By Lois Hewitt

Thought of the day..

I must keep my eye on God
Or
I will lose sight of what is important