By Lois Hewitt

Falling apart?  Or
Falling into place?

It’s a matter of how one decides to view things.

I’ve had traumas, just like we all have, and in the past I chose to stomp my feet, scream at God and throw tantrums.

After each trauma that passed, and they do pass, I saw more good come from it than I could ever have imagined.

This last six months (and it’s not over yet) has been a season of testing for me.  This one is different from the ones in the past.

No stomping of feet.  No yelling at God.  No why mes.  Just a weird sense of peace.

That’s not to say I haven’t had the occasional mini melt down but overall I have chosen to react differently.

As I look around, I choose to see blessings.  I see the fear and anxiety but I have chosen to not dwell on them.  I’m human I still do hence the shingles. But my inner being is mostly at peace.

I have been studying the Bible and learning and praying.  I see my trials as gifts.

They say these seasons are meant to prepare you for the next door to open.  I can’t even imagine what that door could lead to but I will be ready.

I say this often…life is difficult.  I never understood the part I played in it.  My attitude.  My feelings.  I have everything to do with how I choose to accept or deny my trials.  It doesn’t change the trial but it changes me

Standing firm in God and trusting Him will absolutely change the way you see this earthly life. It’s definitely no magic elixir that makes it all cotton candy and rainbows, but it creates something in you…strength, courage, faith, wisdom and more.

Today I truly thank God for my season of testing.  For His plan for us is for our good.  And I see He has never left my side.

By Lois Hewitt

Blessings come in unexpected packages.  Gifts of love appear out of the blue.

My life has been a series of missteps, bad decisions (not all but a lot), self-preservation and outright ignorance.  Mistakes, as they say, I’ve made a few.

As the years rolled on, I became more and more aware that my behavior was no longer “cute” as it turned the corner to pathetic. 

By then, the habits were ingrained. I had no willpower to change or knowledge of how to.

That’s when the grace of Jesus stepped in.  Finally the day came and I had to face up to my true reality. It was not a good day.

But with His help I started to be aware of the addicitions and the compulsions. I learned my triggers.  I began to understand why I was who I was and how to improve that person.

I’ve said it many times, I became a new person. But that’s not a truth.  I’m still who I was but now healthier and working toward better.

That’s what life is.  I did not have the wherewithall in my youth that I have today. I did not have the tools I possess today.

All those misspent years where the training grounds for where I am today.

As the new year starts, we, as humans, tend to look back.  That’s fine if you don’t stay there too long.  There were lessons learned.

Look back only to refresh the lesson.  Most of us have already beaten ourselves up enough that we don’t need to keep doing that.  If you learned from it, and moved on from it…you are a Victor.

My life is in its new phase. I phase of uncertainty yet filled with more hope than I ever experienced before.

For most of my life, I thought if I ever got cancer that I would just curl up and die.  Well, I got it and I didn’t. It just goes to prove you don’t know how you will react until you have to react.

All that came before, steeled me for all that is to come. So goes life. All the lessons learned, all the experiences and all the mistakes work toward today.

Today I sit here humbled that I even made it this far.  That I did not alienate everyone from my life and that I am loved (which I didn’t see as possible for years).

My blessings overflow. Not in gold or trinkets but in care and concern.  Not in money but in time.

My faith has been tested and will continue to be.  Some days I’m a warrior and others I am a scared child. Some days I’m both. 

We have to learn to embrace life and all its uncertainties. Embrace the unknown. Have faith that there is a plan.

Some say it isn’t possible for Jesus to care about our small, insignificant lives. I used to believe that. But I don’t see it that way anymore.

Our lives are not insignificant. They are intertwined with all the lives around it.  My actions cause ripples that touch those I know and some I don’t.  The same is true of you!

Our lives together form a huge tapestry of patterns that are sewn together with everyone else’s. And Jesus is the tailor that puts it all together.

As random as it seems at times, there is a pattern we just can’t see for now.  You are important to this design.

Your mistakes do not define you. And you can always overcome, not by your strength but by His.

If you sit at the feet of Jesus, He will give you strength. He will not leave or forsake you. Truly “what a friend we have in Jesus” who covers us in His blessings.

By Lois Hewitt

Did you ever love doing something but life got in the way of it? I used to love baking. But it made me fat and I never had enough time, so I haven’t baked regularly for a while.

I finally decided that I was going to bake again…with a few differences. Healthier, that’s the most important change. And make better choices, not just cookies.

So today I made a batch of whole grain cookies (sounds awful but are very good), a loaf of Einkorn bread (Einkorn is going to take a minute to get used to), made homemade waffles for the days I work outside the house, and a pizza from scratch.

Not super foods by any means, but better choices. Less processing and cleaner ingredients. Less money than premade. And I enjoyed it!

So I’m trying to make nutrient dense meals in an attempt to fight my cancer but sometimes I want a cookie or a piece of toast. It’s all about making better choices. As I learn more about nutrition, my choices will change but its a start.

I have my first regular CT scan in March and I don’t want to see any cancer growth.

Part of my fighting cancer plan is more peace. I had peace today up to my elbows in sticky bread dough. I had peace making a fun dinner for Mike and me. I had peace today knowing my choices are much different now.

I am praying for guidance on other things I need to change. I’m anxious to do more but I know you can’t change everything at once. I have to start slow exercising but it will get easier. I need to spend less at the grocery store. I need to learn to not stress. It will come, I know it will. And, hopefully, with it will come better health.

I guess we cannot discount the affects of doing something you love to do. It feeds the soul and I’m all about that now. I ran around so busy all the time, worrying about everything, always wanting more than I had, and never feeling like my soul was full…it was always longing for something that shiny baubles could not provide.

Making my own food, obviously not growing it as I live in an apartment, but choosing the best ingredients and making them come to life is filling my soul.

Living a quiet, simple life is good for me. Reading my Bible and having regular prayer time, reading for fun, and sitting in the sun with a cup of tea are just some of the things I’m doing now.

If I sound like I’ve got it all together, know that I don’t. I still struggle especially with lower energy levels. Sometimes I’m just frozen in place with fear and anxiety, but I’m actively fighting that now. That’s the best I can do.

Is there something you miss doing? Is it something that brings you peace? Why not rekindle the romance with it and feel yourself feel better. It’s worth a try.

As the world becomes more chaotic, it becomes more important to take care of yourself. It’s okay to do, It’s not selfish, it’s very important and you are worth it!!

By Lois Hewitt

Ok it’s time to start thinking about the new year. Months ago, I looked up the symptoms I was having and WebMD said I had cancer. So I had a talk with God and suggested that if this was true, could I possibly just see one more Christmas. He gave me that and it looks like more.

After cancer and the hurricane, I do not really want to make assumptions or take anything for granted. But now I think I need to realistically look at the new year.

What will it look like? I honestly have no idea but then none of us really do. But I am going to make a few changes.

I want to eat better food, food that heals. We have made huge strides in that the last few years, but there is always room to improve. I believe my old eating habits helped to get me here, maybe my new ones can help me to heal.

Everything I have read says exercise is a must. I dislike exercising but it is time to drop the hatred and embrace it. Exercise is not only healthy for body but for soul too. I learned to love vegetables, I can learn to love exercise.

Sunlight. I used to call the sun the horrible orb (I borrowed it from a friend). I used to like living in a cave with no light shining in. Now I open the curtains and I spend time, especially in the morning, enjoying the light. What a huge difference it makes.

Stress. Is. The. Cause. Of. Many. Diseases. Stress causes inflammation in the body and inflammation causes illness. Today’s world is full of stress. I’ve lived in a self-induced pressure cooker most of my life, now that has to change. I’m looking for calm and peace.

Laughter. One of the best medicines ever created. Once you hear bad news, you think you will never laugh again. But it is necessary. A life without laughter is not much like living. I have just started to laugh again… And it feels great!

All these things are going to be my priorities in the new year as I try to regain my health as well as my happiness. Keeping up with friends and family is another wonderful way to be happy. Don’t isolate – this said by the worlds biggest introvert. Don’t isolate!

That’s a pretty good list of things to do. Some will be easy and some not so much. My hope is to keep my disease at bay maybe even decimate it completely. There is one more thing, actually the most important thing of all…

Holding onto Jesus with all my might. Praying for strength and praying for others because life is not just about me. Looking for His peace because mine is fleeting and temporary. Resting in His plan, knowing that it is good. Knowing that I cannot possibly see the entire picture, trusting in His perfect will.

The day I found out that WebMD was right, I spoke to Jesus and decided not to plead or bargain like I used to do. I decided to follow. He has seen me through so much, He has changed me so much.

I told Him this new journey was not going to be about me, but what He is going to do through me.

My original request to Him was just to see another Christmas but apparently He is not quite done with me. So now I try to live His best life and see what He wants me to do.

Writing is my therapy, so I hope to continue that. I know I am longwinded but my hope is that my journey helps someone else. I hope it can encourage just one person.

Here’s to a healthy and joyful new year!

By Lois Hewitt

For those of you struggling with Christmas spirit this year, you are not alone.

And it’s okay.

The weight of life can get heavy at times.  Sometimes you just cannot feel the joy of the season.

And it’s okay.

Money is tight.  Health is in question.  Situations are difficult.  Grief and loss are everywhere.

You can force yourself to be jolly.  To pretend all is well.  If that works for you, great.

If that doesn’t work, allow yourself to really rest.  Forget the guilt of what you think you should be doing.  Leave the stress outside in the cold.  Comfort yourself with a cup of hot tea, a warm blanket and a good book.  Or whatever brings you comfort as long as it nourishes your soul.

Allow yourself to not conform to the expectations of the season.  Do what is right for you, without guilt.

I tend to forget that Christmas isn’t about parties, gifts and busyness.  It’s about the most important event in the history of mankind…the birth of Jesus.

It may, in fact, not be the real date of His birth but it is a celebration of that birth.  The birth of the One who came to earth to give the greatest gifts of all…His love, His salvation and His grace among other things.

But because He is human and also God, He understands where you are right now.  He sees your tears, He hears your cries, He feels your pain and He loves you. He knows why you feel like you do.

I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but there is a plan. Now I know, depending where you are right now, that doesn’t always help.  I get that.

But I have found in my darkest times, if I can be patient enough to ride out the storm, He will calm the winds and the seas of that storm.  He will.  I have experienced it so many times.

In those storms, I have learned the value of taking care of myself.  During the stress, your body is under attack.  Many diseases come from the ravaging effects of stress.

So if you are struggling, let go of the guilt.  Let go of the expectations. Hold onto good and healthy food.  Fresh air.  Sunlight.  Comfort.  It is perfectly okay to take it easy when things are really hard.

And most importantly don’t turn away from the One who loves you. He promised to never leave or forsake us.  Hang onto Him tighter than ever during the difficult season, whether its Christmas or any other day.

Things will improve.  The sun will rise again.  Be gentle with yourself yet strong in your faith. You are not alone. And you are stronger than you can ever imagine. You are a warrior!

By Lois Hewitt

Another day…another fall.  I fell outside today.  That’s twice in a couple of months. It doesn’t seem like much but I’m afraid of it turning into a regular occurance.

So the falls themselves haven’t caused much damage.  Thank You God.  Except to my ego.  The problem lies in the predicament of getting back up.

Both times I fell, I was afraid that I was not strong enough to pick myself up.  So today I start working on my balance and strength.  As we get older, this must be a priority. 

Same thing happens in life.  You are going along, thinking you are fine, and you stumble and fall. 

Maybe it was just a trip and you recovered on your own.  Maybe it was a true tumble that leaves you shaken, hurt and afraid.

I may not have physically fallen many times but I have spiritually fallen more times than I care to admit. The pain is immense. You feel alone. It is horrible.

Today when I fell, no one was around so I had to physically figure out how to get back up again.  Believe me I sat there for a while, legs trembling and weak.

When we fall spiritually, we are never alone.  There is always a hand extended to help us back to our feet.  A hand to brush off the dust. And arms to ease the pain.

Every spiritual fall I have ever taken, Jesus was there to help me up.  No matter the severity of my mishap, He has always been there.

Lately I have stumbled with my words. Feeling a disconnect with one of the things I love to do…write.  Every thing I wrote felt like a fall on the gravel.  Unproductive and painful.

So many ways to fall in life.  But if you know Jesus, you have a Rescuer and a Rock to put your trembling feet.

My legs gave out and I struggled to push my body up to standing. It wasnt happening but then I felt the strength in my legs and rise I did.

With Jesus, rising from the ashes is a common theme. We trip and fall, we lose our footing, we crash our bodies onto the ground then Jesus comes and lifts us back up, something we could never do on our own.

No doubt as we get older, we must stay strong physically but we must always stay strong spiritually.  For that is where our true power comes from.

As I tend to my sore legs, I give thanks that I was able to get back up. That I was able to brush myself off. That I was able to continue on my path.

The day is coming when I will fall and there will be no more getting back up.  That is a part of life.  But until that day, I will work on my physical strength and hone my spiritual strength.  For without Jesus, I stuck in the dirt with no hope of getting back up.

Stay strong my friends.  Strength in body and strength in soul. 

By Lois Hewitt

2024…One for the record books!  It’s funny every January 1st, you think about the new year.  Making resolutions and planning.

We never know what roads we will take, the obstacles we will endure or the curveballs we will encounter.  It is so unknown and seems so random.

In today’s world, it is very easy to focus on the parts we don’t like.  The news and other sources of information just love to set a doomsday motif.  Fear is everywhere.

I get caught up in all the fear mongering too.  I look around and wonder how things are going to unfold.  I worry and fret.

Well, that’s the wrong way to look at it.  My belief tells me that God has a plan. That He is not thrown off by any curveballs.  His plan, according to His Word, is for good!

As we look around at the year past and wonder about the year ahead, it is hard to see the good.  But maybe, just maybe, our line of sight is slightly off.  I know mine is.

I need to remember Christmas is in just a few days.  Christmas per the world is all about gifts and extra activities. It’s about overdoing and exhaustion.

Truth is it is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus.  Jesus came to earth as man and God to fulfill a need in the world.  A need for salvation.  A need for cleansing of sins.  A need for a new way to live.

His birth marked the beginning of those changes.  He came to save a world that many did not necessarily think needed saving. Many enjoyed their sin and wanted nothing to do with Him.

Many thought He would come to save His people from the oppression of the ruling class here on earth.  But His plan was much more than that.

He was born to save an entire world from sin.  He was born to bring mankind closer to God as the ultimate blood sacrifice.  He was born to show us how to live in love.  How to go to Him for strength and patience. He changed everything with His birth. That’s what we are celebrating.

If I concentrate on that and His Word, I can see peace within my reach.  But when I veer off and start looking at the world, His peace is obscured. So it’s really a matter of what I choose to look at.  Him or the world.

Sometimes the world is so overwhelming. There is pain of every variety, past and present.  There is pure uncertainty for the future.   My eyes are focused on the wrong things.

Yes, the uncertainty will continue into the new year and beyond.  But Jesus stays the same always.  He is the pillar of strength I need to focus on.  He is pure compassion, which I need to channel.

He is in control even if the world tells me otherwise. He is my rock.  He is my calm in the storm.  He is my steadfast presence when I am afraid and unsure.

I need to stop looking away from Him.  Stop looking to the world for solutions. I need to focus on Him and gather my courage from Him.

The world is still going to be scary and unpredictable. But I need to remember that He is not startled or thrown off by the world’s manipulations. He is in control of the new year and always. 

As this year’s door closes and next year’s door opens, I pray that Jesus is in our sight more than the world.

I pray that we can hold tight to His strength in the bumpy nights. Look to Him when the way is not clear.  That we can be filled with His peace and joy no matter what the world throws at us.

A new year and a new perspective. I pray that as the clock ticks into another year that your eyes will be on the One born on Christmas. The One who loves mankind so much He died on a cross.  That your comfort and strength comes from Him today and forever.

Blessings for the new year!

By Lois Hewitt

What a week it’s been!  Stress.  Dumb mistakes.  Frustration.

Ever have a week like that?  I’m sure you’ve had more than one. Me too!

Last night I found myself up at 3 AM (per usual) worrying about everything.  Work.  Health.  Money.  Cars.  Weather. Those in need.  World issues.  My mind would not stop.

I am learning that when we get like that, we are expecting ourselves to come up with the solutions. We think we can fix everything. I don’t know about you, but most problems are way above my pay grade.

We have a “Boss” who is responsible for those problems.  All of them in fact.  And He does not need my help solving them.  His name is God and His Son, Jesus.  In His word to us, He promised to take our heavy yoke and give us His, which is lighter.

He promised to never leave or forsake us.  He promised there was a plan, even if we cannot see it.

I believe His words, yet I still worry. I still fret. That means that I do not really trust Him because I’m depending on my own strength to “help” Him out.

How silly is that?  The God and Son who created all things, who brought us from the beginning to where we are now cannot handle my problems. He is struggling to figure a way out.  I do not think so, so why am I worried?

Why do I let myself lose joy? Why do I put my health at risk for worry?  Why do I lose sleep?  Because I do not let go.  I hang onto the fears and worry because I have always done that.  Times are about to change.

You cannot possibly be full of joy and worry at the same time. You cannot be fearful and courageous at the same time.  We all have to choose how we are going to live.  Defeated or triumphant.  You cannot have both.

I have always carried myself a bit defeated.  Because I could not give up the worry.  It is like a heavy weight around our necks. It does no good but it certainly weighs us down.

My new mantra (although it’s not a new concept) is to let go and let God.  Whoever coined that really brought life into focus.

We need to let go of the strife, the anger, the unforgiveness, the dissappointment, the fear and the negativity. Let it go like the garbage it is. And let God.

An easy task?  Hardly.  Probably one of the hardest things a human can do.  Many of us grew up with fear and trauma.  We learned early on to expect the worse case scenario in every situation.  It is hard wired into our DNA.  Just letting go is not easy.

It starts with learning what God says about His protection and provisions. Reading His word is a must. I discounted the importance for many years and my life reaped nothing but disaster.

Then praying. Even if you can’t find the words, take meaningful time to be with God.  He knows your heart but you still need to be in His presence.

And purposefully drive out negative thoughts. Be careful what you fill your mind with. We may all doom scroll a bit too much.  I’m certainly guilty.  Those flashes and images are recorded in your mind. I’ve had times I could barely move after too much scrolling. Just be careful what you choose to watch and listen to.

Finally, watch your words. I always say what an idiot I am.  I may not necessarily mean it but I say it and that gives the words power. Be careful what you say and think.

My prayer as we end one year and start another is that we all let go and let God.  These are truly trying times we live in. So much to fear but God NEVER wanted that for His children. Let’s not accept that thinking any longer.

Let’s take back joy and peace.  Let’s be kind and gentle. Let’s enjoy no matter the circumstance. Let’s look to Almighty God to guide us past and around life’s snares. 

He loves His children. He sent His most beloved to die on a cross for our sins.  Let’s not discount that act but embrace it and live a victorious life.  That’s my wish for you and me too!

Stay strong and brave, my friend! 

By Lois Hewitt

There’s been a change in plans.  Oh, that isn’t going to work.  That will never happen.  You will have to adjust.  This is my life lately.

I spent the last year planning my semi-retirement.  I was only going to work four days a week starting in September.  I wanted a day during the week to bake bread and run errands.

The same week my social security started so did my new medical bills.  Sorry, there’s been a change in plans.

Okay, let’s plan surgery, never expecting a hurricane. Sorry, you will have to readjust your schedule.

I prepared myself for chemotherapy.  Sorry your cancer does not react to it.  You will have to take an alternate route.

I was going to work from home today. Sat down at the computer and it won’t connect.  Guess you aren’t doing what you thought you were.

And on and on.  I have written a lot lately about those curves in the road, but today was my last straw.  This is more than just a few oddly placed switchbacks.  I’m missing a lesson here.

God is trying to get my attention and I have been oblivious.  But what am I supposed to be learning?  That’s the question of the hour.

I could ask friends, look it up on the Internet, keeping on the same path or I can stop and listen to God.

We don’t always want to do that, do we?  Afraid what He is saying won’t fit with our plans. Afraid we will have to change course completely.

But don’t I know what’s best for me?  Can’t I make my own decisions?  Let’s look to the past for those answers, shall we.  No, I almost always make the wrong decisions.

Ok, I need to change something. But I don’t know what it is.  I need to keep moving forward but in which direction?  I, literally, don’t know what to do next.

This happens to all of us in our lives some times.  Choosing between two job offers.  Which car to buy.  Heck, what to have for dinner tonight.

There is a fork in your road, which way do you go?  We just don’t know. 

Right now, I’m stuck in a traffic jam in my mind.  I can’t even see the exit signs.  I have no idea where I’m even supposed to be headed.

My guess is the holding pattern is all part of the lesson.  I have fallen away from my studies.  I haven’t had the words to fully pray.  I am so distracted that I cannot see straight at times.

Maybe it’s time to bring myself back from the edge I’ve been on and refocus on God again.  Get back to His Word.  Stop trying to control the uncontrollable. 

Are you in a holding pattern?  Unsure which way to turn?  Just finding that things aren’t working right now.  Maybe it’s time to stop and refocus on God.

I like my answers to have a set of steps to follow, a clear instruction. But God does not always work that way.  He moves differently than we do.  He sees more than we do. 

Sometimes we need to surrender the planner, the schedule and the plans to Him.  Then wait.  Search Him out in reading and prayer.  The answer will come. 

You and I have gotten this far, He is not going to cut us loose here.  I thought I finally had it all together.  Then I realized I didn’t.  My eyes were on me, not Him. 

I guess I’ll continue to do what I need to and search His word for His intent for me right now.

Humans do not generally like the unknown.  Uncertainty causes anxiety. But sometimes we have to live in that space in order to move to the next level.  Don’t lose hope!  Your time of illumination is coming.

Stay strong, stay faithful to Him and be patient.  The answer will appear in His perfect time.

We can wait together.

By Lois Hewitt

Thanksgiving is almost upon us!  Oh, the food and festivities!  Family and friends!  What a lovely day it will be as it’s the kick-off for the Christmas season.

This year has a different feel though. The food will be simple.  The festivities at a minimum.  Friends and family will be close in heart.  This year will be a bit subdued.

Although I am extremely happy to be here enjoying the day, I’m weary from the last few weeks life trip.  Illness and weather have taken it out of me.

But grateful I am.  Grateful to be alive!  Grateful to be safe and comforted.  Grateful for food, no matter how modest.  Grateful for clothes, cars, electricity and water.  Grateful for all the things so many lost.  It’s humbling to think about what Helene did to those who are still suffering.

Grateful for doctors and nurses who have and will continue to take such good care of me.  Grateful for this disease as it deepens my hold on Jesus’ hand. 

I promised, in the beginning of this particular journey, that I wasn’t going to be all about cancer.  But I am finding it does filter into every part of your life. As does the hurricane.

I can’t quite seem to “get away” from either.  Even though there is sadness and grief, grateful I am.

Unexpected events, curves in life’s road, or plot twists you didn’t see coming, effect you.  You have the option to become bitter or you can chose to be better.  I have been bitter in the past, I chose to be better now.

I am reminded this Thanksgiving that I truly have more blessings in my life than I could ever deserve.  I am surrounded by the best humanity has to offer and I’m covered in the blood shed on the cross by Jesus.

I have no idea what the future holds but you don’t need a cancer diagnosis to say that.  None of us is privy to what is around the corner.  But I am slowly learning that the clock is ticking and I need to celebrate the gratitude!

My eyes seem full of tears, ready to spill out at any time.  Whether it is from sadness or beauty, my emotions run strong lately.  The old me would have considered that weakness but now I see it as a blessing. 

Being alive is full of pitfalls. But also full of beauty and love.  Being consumed by pitfalls derails joy for the things in life that are given, it steals gratitude.

I want everyday to be a Thanksgiving of sorts.  No matter the circumstances, no matter the way, I want to have the deepest sense of gratitude filling my soul.

As the day approaches, I pray you too are filled with gratitude no matter the circumstance. Filled with a joy that is not dependent on what’s happening. I pray that Jesus in His infinite love covers you and comforts you.

Grateful I am for all my many blessings and grateful I am to be a child of God.  Prayers to you, my friend, prayers of love, peace, joy and gratitude.