By Lois Hewitt

Another truthful post.  Seems like all I do is cry.  I cried yesterday at work.

I was trying to do a job that I have been doing for over three years.  And for some reason my mind would not let me get it right…even after seven tries.

I got so frustrated I just started to cry and ran out of the office. When I returned my boss had done the job for me.  He is so kind.

When I got home and had some time to mull over the events of the day, I realized that I am trying to act like everything is normal and it’s not.

I don’t know if this is true of everyone with a chronic illness, but I just want normal back.  I want to be where I was before cancer.

I’m not saying I was perfect before the diagnosis but I sure wasn’t as foggy and scattered as I am now.

Oh I dream of normal.  I took normal for granted.  Today’s normal is doctor appointments, infusions, pills (so many pills), being cautious of getting sick, and so much more.

I’m trying not to complain but I have to come to terms that I am different and my life is different.  I cannot keep acting like it’s as it was.

So today I pick myself up yet again and try to adjust to the new normal. 

And I must not forget to thank God for He gave me another day.  It’s a different type of day, but it is a day that I have to remember to be thankful for.

I don’t know if other people with chronic disease have the same issues but if you do, be kind to yourself.  You are going through a lot and it is not easy.  Pray for strength and guidance as this new world unfolds. 

God is with us everyday and we need to look to Him and not depend on any facade we try to hide behind. 

We want to look all put together but sometimes we just are a mess.  And guess what….that’s ok too!

Be good to yourself and have patience.