By Lois Hewitt

Tomorrow it will be one year since I started showing symptoms of cancer.  Following the diagnosis came Hurricane Helene then the hysterectomy, then shingles, then the cancer came back, started chemo and now a blood clot.  What a year it’s been and no real end in sight.

Some days I feel hopeless. Yes, even as a believer in Jesus, I have periods of time where I just can’t bear the weight.

I want to let Jesus have my yoke but I do not know how to let go.   I have been clinging to it for so long, I wonder if I know how to let it go.

I’m sure every Christian has gone through periods where you wondered if Jesus was near or why He was allowing such things to happen.

We are told to surrender all, but is that not easier said than done?   Oh to be able to sleep all night without waking up worrying about money, health or whatever it is that keeps you up at night.

They say being a Christian is difficult.  I always thought they meant the things you give up or the new purpose in life.  It’s now clear they meant the seasons of trials.   I’ve been through a few seasons in my life and I find it never gets easier.

As I sit in my chair covered with a soft blanket, I can feel the arms of Jesus around me.  I haven’t had words to pray lately but He knows our hearts and fills in the blanks when we just can’t.

We live in a world that’s much different than we grew up in (if you are of a certain age).  It’s much more volatile with so many different factions fighting.  Rage is everywhere.  Crime seems to be tolerated more.  And everything just costs so much, just to name a few things.

So what are we to do?  We have to spend solid time in God’s word and pray without ceasing.  This is not some magic fix-me-up, but if done consistently you can find peace even though the chaos.

Joy is alluding me at this point.  I’m trying but it is difficult.  But that too is a gift promised to us if we seek Him.   Not a gift easily given but earned through devotion to Him. 

This was not my cheeriest post but I hope you take away a couple of things.

It’s okay to feel hopeless at times, just don’t stay there.  Focus on the things that give you hope and cling to them like you are on the Titanic.  Don’t let go!

Joy can be allusive too.  Like I said I’m still working on that but I know it’s there for me and for you.  Don’t give up on it.

It is true that if God puts you there, He will see you through it.  Even if He feels distant at the time.  Quiet your heart if you can’t find words and He will take it from there.

Even though the world seems to be spinning out of control.  Jesus is still in control.  And He wins the ultimate war.  Evil may win a battle here and there but that’s not how this story ends.

So if you are in a difficult season.   Please please please hang on.  Don’t give up.  Jesus is your strength.   He’s parted seas, delivered His people, fed thousands out of nothing and most importantly He died on a cross for the sins of all of us and then rose from the dead to ascend to Heaven.  He will be back. 

Do you really believe all that fairy tale stuff?  With my whole heart and my whole soul.  That’s how I know He will take care of us even if we feel distant.  I’ve seen Him do it so many times.

Maybe put on some joyous music, watch a Christian movie or open the Bible.  Try to get your head out of the problems and sing a little praise for all He has done so far.

This life is not an easy one but as a Christian we do have tools to get us through.  Please use them and remember to take care of yourself guilt free.  You are so very loved….He died for that love!