By Lois Hewitt

Part of the walkway out of our apartment is made up of loose stones.  And that part of the walkway is slightly slanted, so when I walk on it I have to be careful with my footing as to not fall.

I have slipped a couple times as the stones shifted from me walking on them.  Leaving me no alternate but to land on my behind. 

Life feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?  Like we are standing on shifting ground and the only place to go is down.  So many things don’t make sense today.  Opinions and ideals keep shifting.

That’s when I need to remember there is one place that never shifts or changes.  The feet of Jesus. 

He is the same as yesterday, today and will be tomorrow.  World views change on a regular basis.  Influencers try to facilitate change based on their view.  But He is constant.

For me, there is comfort in knowing that the foundation that Jesus set for us never moves, never changes.  If I can only keep my eyes on Him, I would be more settled and peaceful.

But the world we live in wants to keep us dissatisfied and confused.  Hatred is a new normal.  Screaming has replaced conversations.  Acts of violence are considered appropriate as a form of protest. 

But at the feet of Jesus, there is love, compassion and peace.   That never shifts.  His foundation is firmly planted and will not be moved. 

As I try to maneuver this new world we live in, I sometimes forget to keep my eyes on Jesus.  When I do I become fearful and unsteady, ready to stumble at any moment. 

I need to keep my focus on the One who is truly in control.  No politician, no influencer, no celebrity only Jesus. 

It’s like when you stand on the beach and the tide brings the water to you.  It can feel like you are moving due to the motion of the water, but in reality you have not moved at all.  It’s just an illusion.

But when you focus on Jesus, the foundation is solid.  He has control of today and forever more.  No shifting stones here, just solid ground.

So if today you feel like everything is out of control, you can shift your view to Jesus and get your footing right.  He died for us, He cares for us and He protects us.  That never changes. 

Plant your feet on solid ground.  Look to Jesus for your security and know that He is the victory we seek. 

We will still continue to stumble as that is the human condition but planting yourself at His feet will help ensure that He will help you back to your feet and back to solid ground.

By Lois Hewitt

Another truthful post.  Seems like all I do is cry.  I cried yesterday at work.

I was trying to do a job that I have been doing for over three years.  And for some reason my mind would not let me get it right…even after seven tries.

I got so frustrated I just started to cry and ran out of the office. When I returned my boss had done the job for me.  He is so kind.

When I got home and had some time to mull over the events of the day, I realized that I am trying to act like everything is normal and it’s not.

I don’t know if this is true of everyone with a chronic illness, but I just want normal back.  I want to be where I was before cancer.

I’m not saying I was perfect before the diagnosis but I sure wasn’t as foggy and scattered as I am now.

Oh I dream of normal.  I took normal for granted.  Today’s normal is doctor appointments, infusions, pills (so many pills), being cautious of getting sick, and so much more.

I’m trying not to complain but I have to come to terms that I am different and my life is different.  I cannot keep acting like it’s as it was.

So today I pick myself up yet again and try to adjust to the new normal. 

And I must not forget to thank God for He gave me another day.  It’s a different type of day, but it is a day that I have to remember to be thankful for.

I don’t know if other people with chronic disease have the same issues but if you do, be kind to yourself.  You are going through a lot and it is not easy.  Pray for strength and guidance as this new world unfolds. 

God is with us everyday and we need to look to Him and not depend on any facade we try to hide behind. 

We want to look all put together but sometimes we just are a mess.  And guess what….that’s ok too!

Be good to yourself and have patience. 

By Lois Hewitt

I’m so stupid.  I almost cried at a gas station restaurant.  Mike and I had a little time before my post-chemo shot. So we stopped at a little restaurant attached to a Shell station in Swannanoa.

The inside was adorable. It felt safe. We sat down to a big menu.  I ordered a burger and fries and a to go box.  Usually the day after chemo I feel hungry but can’t eat much.

The food came out fast and fresh as could be.  Our waitress was absolutely lovely.

Well I ate all of the burger and half the fries along with a whole iced tea.  I was amazed.

So I explained the situation to her and the compassion in her eyes, not pity, teared me up.  And she said to come back after the next treatment, with the biggest smile on her face.  A complete stranger.

I somewhat lost my faith in humanity before my diagnosis.  But the outpouring of sincere love and caring from friends and family and people I don’t even know had restored the faith.

I sit here sometimes and wonder what my purpose is now, I used to think I knew what it was but now those things I can no longer do.

Helpless I am some times.  To shaky to write.  Using a cane a lot of the time.  Tired more than I’m not.  A blob is what I am.  But there must be a purpose left in me.  God’s purpose.

I guess the moral of this post is you never know who is going to give you the lift you need to keep going even if you are not sure you know where you are going. And visa versa.

I think in general we are here to help and encourage each other.  Unfortunately there are so many who don’t believe that. They are too busy or too important.  And those are the ones we remember.

Today I start remembering the kindness not the rudeness. I will remember the gentle touch on the shoulder not the brush to get past me because I am too slow.

God has granted me so many kindnesses and genuine people in my life.  I have no reason whatsoever to doubt.

The world we live in today is hard. It’s difficult.  It’s ever changing. But there are plenty of caring people that get overlooked by the overbearing.  Today I’m turning that around. 

God gave us kindness as one of the Fruits of the Spirit.  Today I embrace all those fruits and put evil into perspective. 

And I got a fabulous hamburger (one of my favorite things) out of the deal.  I thought today was my bad day but it turned out great by the grace of God.

By Lois Hewitt

Tomorrow it will be one year since I started showing symptoms of cancer.  Following the diagnosis came Hurricane Helene then the hysterectomy, then shingles, then the cancer came back, started chemo and now a blood clot.  What a year it’s been and no real end in sight.

Some days I feel hopeless. Yes, even as a believer in Jesus, I have periods of time where I just can’t bear the weight.

I want to let Jesus have my yoke but I do not know how to let go.   I have been clinging to it for so long, I wonder if I know how to let it go.

I’m sure every Christian has gone through periods where you wondered if Jesus was near or why He was allowing such things to happen.

We are told to surrender all, but is that not easier said than done?   Oh to be able to sleep all night without waking up worrying about money, health or whatever it is that keeps you up at night.

They say being a Christian is difficult.  I always thought they meant the things you give up or the new purpose in life.  It’s now clear they meant the seasons of trials.   I’ve been through a few seasons in my life and I find it never gets easier.

As I sit in my chair covered with a soft blanket, I can feel the arms of Jesus around me.  I haven’t had words to pray lately but He knows our hearts and fills in the blanks when we just can’t.

We live in a world that’s much different than we grew up in (if you are of a certain age).  It’s much more volatile with so many different factions fighting.  Rage is everywhere.  Crime seems to be tolerated more.  And everything just costs so much, just to name a few things.

So what are we to do?  We have to spend solid time in God’s word and pray without ceasing.  This is not some magic fix-me-up, but if done consistently you can find peace even though the chaos.

Joy is alluding me at this point.  I’m trying but it is difficult.  But that too is a gift promised to us if we seek Him.   Not a gift easily given but earned through devotion to Him. 

This was not my cheeriest post but I hope you take away a couple of things.

It’s okay to feel hopeless at times, just don’t stay there.  Focus on the things that give you hope and cling to them like you are on the Titanic.  Don’t let go!

Joy can be allusive too.  Like I said I’m still working on that but I know it’s there for me and for you.  Don’t give up on it.

It is true that if God puts you there, He will see you through it.  Even if He feels distant at the time.  Quiet your heart if you can’t find words and He will take it from there.

Even though the world seems to be spinning out of control.  Jesus is still in control.  And He wins the ultimate war.  Evil may win a battle here and there but that’s not how this story ends.

So if you are in a difficult season.   Please please please hang on.  Don’t give up.  Jesus is your strength.   He’s parted seas, delivered His people, fed thousands out of nothing and most importantly He died on a cross for the sins of all of us and then rose from the dead to ascend to Heaven.  He will be back. 

Do you really believe all that fairy tale stuff?  With my whole heart and my whole soul.  That’s how I know He will take care of us even if we feel distant.  I’ve seen Him do it so many times.

Maybe put on some joyous music, watch a Christian movie or open the Bible.  Try to get your head out of the problems and sing a little praise for all He has done so far.

This life is not an easy one but as a Christian we do have tools to get us through.  Please use them and remember to take care of yourself guilt free.  You are so very loved….He died for that love!