By Lois Hewitt

Do you care to know my first chemo lesson?  I only ask because you have to be tired of cancer stories.  But I think this is a good one.

Yesterday was my first chemo appointment.  When I got there my blood pressure was scary high from the anxiety I was feeling.  When that finally came down, my pulse rate was way too high to administer the drugs.

You see I had been worried about this treatment since I heard about it almost two weeks ago. 

I fretted.  I looked at WebMD way to much. I was stuck in a loop in my mind that was picturing all the worst case scenarios.  I was miserable for those two weeks.  Living on anti-depessants and they didn’t always work.

My nurse, Renae, saw how absolutely terrified I was and explained it all to me, while my wonderful husband held my hand the entire time.

I can say it was not the funest thing I have ever done, but it certainly did not live up to the absolute horror stories i had dreamt up.

So for two weeks, I missed out on any joy there was to be had.  I was miserable and upset.  When if I would have just listened to Jesus, I would have:

1.  Been full of gratitude for all that went right.  And there was a lot to be thankful for!
2.  I would have gone to Him with my fears instead of the Internet and social media.
3.  I would not have worried about the things I heard in my past because living in the past brings so much pain.
4.  I would not have worried about the future because I don’t know the future and it has its own problems that will be handled then.
5.  I would have lived in the day.  I would have seen the beautiful day and not the fact that I was so scared for something that was literally days away.

Living in the present.  Sounds so easy to do.  But the reality is our minds love to drum up the past as it also worries about all the “what ifs” of tomorrow. Neither of which help in the present.

The past is done.  All we can do is learn from it and ask Jesus for His forgiveness.  Dwelling on it does no good.

The present isn’t here yet.  How absolutely arrogant of me to think I know what’s going to happen!  For example I had surgery scheduled on October 1, then a hurricane came. 

That scenerio never even occurred to me, and I’m pretty imaginative.  So we really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. 

For my mental health, I need to live in the moment.  How about you?  I read something the other day that life needs to be lead soft and easy.  Now I know that can’t always be done but some of it may be. 

This life is so difficult, it doesn’t make sense to add more difficulty to it. 

Today is going to be soft and slow and deliberate at the feet of Jesus.  That’s the best thing I can do today.  Tomorrow, I’ll make a plan for that day then.

See the beauty today.  Make yourself be in the moment as I do the same thing. Be at peace today my friend, be at peace!