By Lois Hewitt

I just emailed a friend who is having a difficult time and I was struggling to find the right words.  So I shut up and let the Holy Spirit drive the bus, as they say.  Maybe these words can help you too.

Many of my lovely friends tell me I’m a warrior.  On those days when I can’t walk the 20 steps to brush my teeth, I don’t feel much like a warrior.  The nights I can’t cook a meal, I don’t feel much like a warrior.  I felt like a liar or a fraud because I really wasn’t much of a warrior but rather a waste.

Then I remembered the story of Joshua fighting (I’ll never get who he was fighting so I’ll just say the enemy) the enemy.

God told Joshua to lay back and pretend to be injured so the enemy would think they had won. And then God’s plan would kick in and He would be the victor.

But Joshua wanted to fight. To be a warrior and he did not follow God’s plan and he lost men and lost the battle.

God reminded Joshua that he needed to fall back, to lay low, so God could defeat the enemy. This time Joshua did as God said and they were victorious and God got the glory.

The Old Testament is not where much of my biblical knowledge is, so please forgive any mistakes, but it’s close to the story and makes a valid point.

So we are, of course, warriors when we are straight up in the middle of the fight.  We are kicking it and making our way toward victory.

But we are warriors too when we hang back (aka resting and taking care of ourselves) because God is fighting the battle for us.  He fights when we are fighting but He takes over when we cannot.

So my definition of being a warrior has changed. If I make the 20 steps to brush my teeth (not my hair as I don’t have anymore lol) that single act is an act of victory.

If I have a day where I make a meal, that is a big victory.  And God always gets the glory because He is my strength.

Before I got sick I used to say celebrate the win no matter the size.  Now that I’m sick, those words ring so true.  Everything you do or don’t do when you are chronically ill, depressed, overwhelmed, or struggling is a win.  If it’s a win, you are a warrior.

I believe we are all warriors in this life. Dr. Evans says we are all either in a fight, just got out of one or are heading into another.  Life is difficult and trials are a big part of life.  Of course, I don’t wish them on anyone, they just happen when Gods timing says it’s right.  There is ALWAYS a reason for them.

If you don’t feel much like a warrior today, know that you are today and every day.  And that God is either fighting with us or for us.  He is our strength and our might.  He deserves the victory.

Jesus promised to never leave or forsake us.  He never goes back on His word, so please hang on tight to that promise.  And know that you are a warrior whether you think you are or not.  Stay strong my friend, stay strong.

By Lois Hewitt

Oh how easy it is to complain.  Especially when life’s trouble start to stack up.  Ok Lord, I might have been ok with this one thing, but these two new things are overwhelming me.  Can’t You help me Lord?  Can’t You see I can’t carry all these burdens?  Have You forsaken me?

That’s a very easy mindset to fall into.   You can’t figure out what you did wrong to have all these issues.  Then we start doubting and complaining.  I have done it more times than I care to admit.

These last few weeks have left me weak and unable to do many of the things I’m used to doing, doing on my own power.

So as I have rested and rested some more, I felt the urge to complain but was covered with a different mindset.  First, gratitude.  The Lord is here with me every step. I feel His presence.

And second, I have learned for the first time in my life there are just some things I have no control over.  I don’t have control over other people, over disease and many more things. I’m turning that control over to Jesus. I am stepping back and watching the road unfold.

And third.  There is a plan in place. A plan so huge I cannot fathom it. How do I know this?  The past.  Looking back on other stages of my life, life full of chaos, I see order come where there was none.  I see myself change with every miracle.  Remembering what Jesus has brought me through, reminds me what He will bring me through.

And fourth, His word is my guarantee that He won’t leave me.  He promised and I believe it.

Are you buried under circumstances that seem impossible?  Do you feel alone?  Pick up God’s word and read His promises.  Believe them.  He promises to never leave or forsake us.  He hears our cries even when we have no words because He knows our heart.

Don’t believe?  I didn’t either for a long time. Why would Jesus care about me?  Doesn’t He have enough things to do besides help me with my problems? 

That’s exactly what He has time for.  That’s exactly why we were created, to be cared for.  He cares for everyone even those who hate Him. Why not give Him a chance or another one? 

I say this so many times, but at this stage of my life I am at His feet and I’m hanging on for dear life.  He has me covered and comforted.  He is my saving grace and my mercy.  This i believe with all I am.  I pray you find His comfort and peace.  There is nothing like it!

By Lois Hewitt

I want to post something today that has nothing to do with cancer, copays or any other of life’s difficulties.

Today I opened the back door to see the bright sun and the blue sky.  A small breeze was blowing.  And, oh how, the birds were singing.  Big bumblebees flying all around.

It is so easy to see the sadness and grief that is ever present in every day life.  But sometimes you need a mini vacation from all that.  To just sit in your favorite spot and dream the dreams of your youth.

The other day I was so tired and I wanted to just close my eyes, not necessarily to sleep, but to just “go” someplace else. To dream as I did as a child.  Nothing came to mind. 

Every thought I started was crushed by some sort of adult reality.  I didn’t want reality then, I wanted fantasy.  Just a brief respite.

Then I realized the importance of such things. Sure you aren’t checking off things on your to do list, but you are doing something of more importance, you are feeding your soul.  You are communing with God.

It’s like being a child and playing in the grass on a summer day.  It’s important to have those times when you can just forget, even for a few moments, the true realities of adult life.

So today I sit on the porch and dreams start to materialize.  I remember how it feels to run and laugh and play all from the comfort of my porch chair.

I thank God for the beauty that surrounds us every day.  The beauty we often miss because we are adults and sometimes forget to just be.

I forget many times that God is in control and that I am here to do His will.  I fuss and fight trying to change this or that.  But to no avail. I need to remember to stop, especially when I’m freaking out about something and breathe deep and just slow down. Listen to the birds or watch the clouds drift by.

We are not called to be the fixers of things. We are called to love each other and follow God’s course. 

I know I’m rambling but I just think it’s important for each of us to take a mini break now and then.  To reflect on the beauty all around us.  I pray you get that chance today.  Leave reality behind just for a while and be a child again. 

If your childhood was not great, now is the time to create one that is.  Just be happy and at peace for a time.  Feed your soul and let go of the stress.  Feel your blessings and see God’s beautiful world.

Have a blessed and happy day today.  Reality will be back soon enough.  Just enjoy!

By Lois Hewitt

Do you care to know my first chemo lesson?  I only ask because you have to be tired of cancer stories.  But I think this is a good one.

Yesterday was my first chemo appointment.  When I got there my blood pressure was scary high from the anxiety I was feeling.  When that finally came down, my pulse rate was way too high to administer the drugs.

You see I had been worried about this treatment since I heard about it almost two weeks ago. 

I fretted.  I looked at WebMD way to much. I was stuck in a loop in my mind that was picturing all the worst case scenarios.  I was miserable for those two weeks.  Living on anti-depessants and they didn’t always work.

My nurse, Renae, saw how absolutely terrified I was and explained it all to me, while my wonderful husband held my hand the entire time.

I can say it was not the funest thing I have ever done, but it certainly did not live up to the absolute horror stories i had dreamt up.

So for two weeks, I missed out on any joy there was to be had.  I was miserable and upset.  When if I would have just listened to Jesus, I would have:

1.  Been full of gratitude for all that went right.  And there was a lot to be thankful for!
2.  I would have gone to Him with my fears instead of the Internet and social media.
3.  I would not have worried about the things I heard in my past because living in the past brings so much pain.
4.  I would not have worried about the future because I don’t know the future and it has its own problems that will be handled then.
5.  I would have lived in the day.  I would have seen the beautiful day and not the fact that I was so scared for something that was literally days away.

Living in the present.  Sounds so easy to do.  But the reality is our minds love to drum up the past as it also worries about all the “what ifs” of tomorrow. Neither of which help in the present.

The past is done.  All we can do is learn from it and ask Jesus for His forgiveness.  Dwelling on it does no good.

The present isn’t here yet.  How absolutely arrogant of me to think I know what’s going to happen!  For example I had surgery scheduled on October 1, then a hurricane came. 

That scenerio never even occurred to me, and I’m pretty imaginative.  So we really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. 

For my mental health, I need to live in the moment.  How about you?  I read something the other day that life needs to be lead soft and easy.  Now I know that can’t always be done but some of it may be. 

This life is so difficult, it doesn’t make sense to add more difficulty to it. 

Today is going to be soft and slow and deliberate at the feet of Jesus.  That’s the best thing I can do today.  Tomorrow, I’ll make a plan for that day then.

See the beauty today.  Make yourself be in the moment as I do the same thing. Be at peace today my friend, be at peace!