By Lois Hewitt

The saga continues…

I’m finding out what you have to do when things don’t turn out how you hoped.

Went to my oncologist (she and her team are truly amazing, by the way) to discuss what is the next step.

The plan is one I certainly did not expect. My type of cancer is very rare and aggressive. Chemotherapy, radiation and hormone therapy have no effect on it.

So every three months I get a CT scan and look for its return (there is a high chance of that) and have another surgery.  No “cure”, no plan of action except to wait.

That’s not really what I wanted to hear but that is my new reality.  Many of us a struggling with new realities.

I have written a lot lately about trying to cope when things do not turn out your way.  Whether it health, weather or any other of the many things going on now, many are struggling with not liking their new reality.

I broke down a bit this morning. Mad that I just have to live with this, mad at the expense of it all and just mad overall. 

Guess what being mad did?  Raised my blood pressure.  Made my stomach hurt.  Gave me a really bad attitude. And did nothing constructive.

After my little tantrum, I wrote out my plan of attack which includes a cancer diet, sun therapy and an exercise regimen. All things known to waylay cancer.  It’s what I can do…and have a positive attitude.

The negativity of not getting our own way has many horrific side effects to our health and it usually does not change the core problem.

I don’t have the cheerful gene. I can’t just sit here and think positive thoughts. I have to work at it.  Getting over anything traumatic in life requires more than just flowery words. It requires you to take control of the negative thoughts and kick them to the curb.

Being grateful is a great counterbalance to negativity. But, unfortunately, the mind defies you to be grateful. Even if there is so much to be grateful for.  You just have to keep trying to overcome your hurdle.

I was struggling and my husband asked me where my faith was in all this.  I was not happy with the question at first but it made me think the same thing.

I talk about handing it over to Jesus. Knowing He has a plan. Knowing that He will provide. Saying it and living it can be two different beasts. 

I try to live it every day. But the days come when you are hurting, disappointed, confused or just plain afraid of the now and the future.

So here is me thinking I have to always live with this cancer, wondering where and when it will return.  Now I can absolutely ruin today worrying about some time in the future. Or I can give it to Jesus and re-find my joy.

Frankly I’m very tired of worrying and being mad. This is my new reality and accepting it, while being proactive in the things I can, will bring me peace and joy. The kind the world can’t understand. It’s the kind from my Healer, my Savior and my Friend…Jesus.

I can’t change the cancer but I can change how I live with it. Living with bitterness and hate only hurts you and changes nothing. Think of it as protecting your well-being.  Caring for yourself. And in turn you just may find, regardless of your circumstances, peace and the ability to move onward and upward.

As we all struggle with our personal new realities, start on your knees (figuratively if you must) and give it to Jesus. His shoulders are so much bigger than ours. He has the strength to carry the burdens we struggle with. It’s not easy and, like me, can be a daily struggle to give the worry away. But the act of unloading the burden just may get you through the rough days.

That’s my prayer for us all. Regain peace and joy through the One who provides it all!