By Lois Hewitt

Inspiration and understanding, although searched for, sometimes appear in the most unlikely of places.

I have concerns lately that my “normal” mode of living is askew.  I am really done with the anxiety, the racing heart, and all the other side effects of said mode.

I was sitting in my work cubicle doing the same work I always do wondering if it will make a difference. Wondering, in fact, if any of my work labors will have any lasting effect.

Then an old work project came to mind. A project I worked on for years.  A project I worried over. The end result of it all ended up in boxes, taped shut and put in a crawl space.

Did all the worry end up making the project a success? No.  Did all the worry help me grow as a human?  No.  Did all the worry contribute one positive influence? No.

Then my eyes opened further to all the times I was fraught with worry and/or fear.  Days, weeks, months of not sleeping, racing heart and unwellness.  To what end?  Other than manifestations of anxiety, nothing good came and no postitve progress was made.

I sat in my cubicle, listening to random typing and various phones ringing.  I heard the coffee maker making yet another cup of coffee.  I wondered what lasting impact this all would have. What it all means to mankind in general.  Would the worries we all have come to believe as normal, work for the betterment of humankind?

No.  Worry tends to manipulate the space it occupies.  It covers that space with darkness that no light can penetrate.  It lasts so long, it starts to become normal and is accepted as “just the way it is.”

As of yesterday’s epiphany, I no longer see it that way. Worry, for me, has always been my way of holding onto the control of a situation or project. If I worried enough, it meant I was the one with the power. But the reality was the opposite. I lost my power by holding on too tightly.

I sat at my desk devastated by all the time I wasted clinging to things and, sometimes, people that would have been healthier for me to let go of.

Yes, we need to have concern for immediate situations. We need to act accordingly. But for me to sit at my desk and worry and over think everything to its impending death is only stripping me of my joy for life.

Remember happiness is based on temporary situations whereas joy exceeds the situation and exists regardless of what is happening.

So what does any of this have to do with anything?  I am still working on the conclusion.  But I think if we all as a world worried less and held more joy, we could start to heal from the hatred and divisions we now live with on a daily basis.

Maybe putting a little less emphasis on trying to control situations and letting the reins drop for a bit.  Placing faith in the One who holds the true power.

I’m not foolish enough to believe that me having more joy will make the world a better place or that in a hundred years that any contributions I make will be remembered. But that sort of takes the pressure off.  Maybe I don’t need to be all consumed with control.

Maybe it’s okay to bake cookies, tend the garden, read a book or whatever.  Maybe I have taken work too seriously as a way for me to atone for past sins. I used the worry of work to validate who I was. But, in my truest reality, I am a child of God and that is all I honestly need to know and be.

I know this is rambling, as usual, but my thought is maybe we as humans need to change the importance rating of the things in our life. Maybe we need to have the faith to not be in control all the time.  Maybe we could all benefit from less worry and that would benefit the world.

Just a thought.