By Lois Hewitt

The days are finally gone when I struggled to figure out who I am.  Today I am comfortable being me. Even if I do some strange things:

I figured out how much I need for bills and am able to work part time.  Full time would net more money but there are other more important things

I take much pride in bring a wife.

In the time I am not working, I prepare all our meals from scratch.

I meal plan weekly and purchase groceries online either for pick up or delivery. I actually save money this way as I’m not tempted with convenience foods or impulse items.

I mix everything by hand to experience a connection with the process (some times I do wish for a hand mixer but I plow through.  Lol)

I rarely eat out and my bank balance thanks me.

I don’t shop when I’m bored, anxious, upset, hurt or any time. I shop online and always think about it for a couple of days before purchasing.

I cut my own hair (yes, I know it’s obvious).

I use one bar of good quality organic soap on my hair, face and everywhere else. No extra products for me.

Black castor oil is my moisturizer if I use one.

I have one work uniform I wear every day until it wears out. No worries, I wash it each day.

I read and do a Bible study everyday. I don’t wait until Sunday.

I have lots of systems in place for household chores, studies, baking, cooking and health.  I embrace the simple ways.  I used to think it had to be complicated to be good and that just put extra pressure on myself.

Am I trying to say I have it all together, that I’m perfect?  Goodness NO!  I am still broken and tattered. I fall short sometimes on an hourly basis.

But, through my relationship with Jesus and some hard earned processes in place, I have learned who I truly am.  Not who I think someone else thinks I am.  My intents are clear and I stand firm where I was pretty shaky before.

I have tried to be a hundred different people trying to please a hundred other people. I was never true to me or to God.

I used to discount the “Jesus” things in life because I felt I knew better.  Now I actually do know better in that I have a lot I do not know.

What’s my point? Do you struggle knowing who you really are. Do all the outside influences make you confused?  You need to stop looking at others and look to Jesus. He will show you the way.

If you are true in your relationship with Him, He will let you see that part of you that you may be missing.

I was so stubborn I didn’t see until I was nearly 60.  Just proves it isn’t too late.

If you feel like you don’t fit in, that’s ok.  That means only one thing…if you don’t fit in the world around you, then it means you are outstanding!  And you are that, even if you cannot see it yet!