By Lois Hewitt

I used to allow myself to languish in my perceived grief.  Grief for a life I did not have.

I allowed my mind and my emotions to drive the car of my life.  It took wild turns and made dangerous swerves.

I wallowed in a bath full of self-pity and obnoxious self grandeur. 

As I have aged, the best lesson learned is a hard but necessary lesson.  To Step Up.  To go when you would rather not.

To act in a way you that feels like too much work.

To do the right thing when it just seems too hard. And to do the right thing when no one is watching.

To Step Up means different things to different people.  For me it can simply mean to just walk out the door and into the world.

I would rather not ever leave where I live but I am called to do more than just exist.  I used to take up space never fulfilling any dream or hope fully.

I started lots of things and finished very few.  Failed over and over without the gift of lesson learned.

Then comes the age when you realize the end is closer than the beginning.  Not in a morbid way but in a truthful sense of reality.

When I step up, even in the smallest way, I feel as if I climbed a mountain.  The days of laying in bed rather than going to work or cleaning the house or cooking a meal are a not so distant memory but a memory nonetheless.

Some people have done great and wondrous things with their lives. Their goals were always clear.  I have a little envy for such a person.

But one day I realized that it was not too late to start living the life God gave me to live.  I’m breathing…I am stepping up.

Makes no difference how you started the race or how the middle went but how you finish is the key.

Life as a race makes sense to me.  As I look at the other runners I see varied degrees of ability and determination. I used to think I had to copy other people’s races.

But now I see my race is unique to me as yours is to you.  I may have started off slow and had a slow middle but I plan to finally step up.

So much time wasted, nothing can be done about it now.  But I can change this point forward by taking the chances, no matter the size, that I used to miss. Too late is not an option any longer.

Some days I set a personal best and other days I can’t seem to get off the starting line but, at least, I showed up and did not miss the race all together.

To Step Up wins the race. To Step Up a victor makes!

By Lois Hewitt

Today I hit a milestone.  Today I am writing my 400th blog post (they always start as FB posts).  10 years and 400 posts. What a ride it’s been.

I cannot go back and look at the first posts. My life was so chaotic and my mental health so bad, I imagine I could barely handle it.

Then it became a travel log as we drove our epic journey to find a new life.

Then just random thoughts, none of which I care to read either. 

Now a journal of my faith. 

The blog is a true mirror of the  life I have led. True and honest.  The good, the bad and the very ugly parts.  I’ve written about darkness and fear, about uncertainty and self-doubt and about just not knowing what to do. 

But now, at least I hope, it is about redemption and forgiveness. About surrender and faith.  I was so broken, but not hopeless. I have been in the valley, the desert and on the mountaintop.

What have I learned in 400 posts:

Never ever give up, things will always change.

If you can’t see a way out, just look up…nothing is impossible with God.

Your past may have molded you, but it does not define you in the present.

No matter the things you have done or said, sincere remorse can bring cleansing through the blood of Jesus.

Never discount the power in being grateful.  Gratitude kills entitlement and victim mentalities.

I now choose people and experiences over things.

Sometimes a solid “no” is the greatest gift of all.

Love is the super power that has the absolute ability to heal ourselves, others and the world.  Jesus taught me the meaning of love.

Rest and taking care of yourself are absolutely non- negotiable. 

I have not always made the right choices. They were based purely on my own wants.  Today my choices have a heavenly light upon them.  Still not always perfect but getting closer.

Joy is a choice.  Joy is present in good times and bad if you chose it to be.  Choosing joy was a learned experience for me, not natural but definitely possible.

There are more but one last one.  God created food to heal not make us ill.  Eating right must be a priority.

Thank you to everyone who ever read anything I ever wrote. Thank you for the always encouraging comments as I read them all.

I cannot even remember why I started this blog.  I suppose it was a fluke and maybe I thought it could become a career (years to date earnings $0 – oh well).  But now I know the joy is not in any monetary reward but in the connections made.

I have had readers from all over the globe.  I have no idea how someone from Russia finds me, but I am eternally happy that it happens. If I can touch one person, it is worth it all.

Well, the 400th post is almost complete. Not sure what’s left to say, maybe nothing. I leave that up to the Holy Spirit. The most meaningful posts I remember nothing of writing them.  Sometimes I am just a conduit and fingers to type.

Not sure I’ll reach 500 posts but it’s been an amazing ride where I hope Jesus was glorifed! 

Thank you ever so much!

By Lois Hewitt

Cayenne Pepper.  What it has taught me.

All my life I feared all peppers and hot spices. I felt my system too fragile to handle.

Meals were plain with a bit of black pepper and a touch of salt.

Once I gave up processed and fast food, I noticed a need in my system for more flavor.

Gone were the unhealthy oils and food additives.  My scratch cooking lacked a savory taste.

Barbara O’Neil explained the difference between cayenne and other peppers that is leading me down a new path.

Cayenne is not hot and burning like a habenaro, but subtly warm.  It can cause a momentary tingle on the tongue and in the throat.

Its health benefits outweigh any inconvience. So I started with a small shake.  Then a full shake.  Now a couple seems to do the trick. The heat is missed if I do not use it.

I have fallen in love with cayenne and its taste and its subtle heat.  I feel it working inside me to bring about better blood pressure, better blood flow and a cleansing that only comes from the fire.

So it is with the Christian life, I am finding. You may be bland and plain for a time but it will come when you are asked to be a bit of heat.  Not scorching but distinct and present. 

We are called to make a stand.  Some will appear like a Scotch Bonnet, hot and irritating.  Others will appear like a poblano, with hardly a notice.

The cayenne rests between the two.  With a kick but not a burn.  I am in a cayenne state of mind at this time.

I see the jokes on social media about Easter. And the blatant disregard for Christian beliefs. This from many screaming voices that say they need everyone to bow down to them and submit.  They call Christians hypocrites and then marginalize our beliefs. The very definition of hypocracy.

Christians are not called to be more perfect than anyone else.  We, just like all people, are not able to achieve perfection.  Yes, the church and religion have hurt people, but so has every other organized group of people.  Hurt happens across the board.

The voices screaming hate belong to the one screaming. Not to any group they claim alliance with. 

I, personally, do not feel the need to scream but I will turn up the heat when my Lord is mocked.

I seek not to mock you yet my faith is in an open season. I believe the strength of my faith is in the lamb but there is also a lion nearby.

My mood is very cayenne at the moment.  I do not like the direction in which the world is heading. Maybe a touch of cayenne is needed.