By Lois Hewitt

Yesterday as I scrolled my phone, I started to lose hope.  Violence, lawlessness, hedonism, injustice and unrest were everywhere.

Being able to watch a cute cat video followed by a story from a human trafficking victim is a unique situation that our current times provide.

It is so easy to get sucked into the hate speech.  They hate us, we hate them…all day and night.  This group are idiots but so is that group.  It is never ending and readily available.

I started to feel dread, the kind that lays over you like a heavy blanket. I felt it in every part of my body.  I, for a few moments, felt hopeless.

Then I felt His presence. The One I lean on every day for all sorts of things.  I thought I need to put my fears at His feet.  I need to kneel at the bottom of the cross. None of the situations today are taking Jesus by surprise. He is not taken aback by the nature of humans.

He knew this was coming. Just like He knew the day would come when He would be beaten horribly and nailed to a cross to die an agonizing death.

He also knew that in three days time, victory would be His when He fought death and won. The agony did not replace the victory.

So is the case today.  Evil may seem to be winning. But that is only an illusion. Jesus is coming back and He will set things right again. 

He needs not any help from me.  I just need to leave my fears, my longings and my insecurities at the cross. One might have thought the cross was the end of the story.  Truth is, the story ends in Heavenly glory!

Jesus tells us over and over not to worry. It adds not one thing to our lives. Leave your fears to Him.  He will right every wrong and His children will live in peace with Him for eternity.

By Lois Hewitt

Getting older..it’s not so bad.  Here are a few things I have finally learned…

I always hated that I wasn’t as cool (whatever that really means) as everyone else I met.  Now I’m cool even if I’m the only one who thinks it.

I always felt guilty and that I was lazy because I would rather just stay home. Now I know that being home, making food and taking care of my husband and myself is an honorable calling.

I used to constantly seek approval.  I’m embarrassed at how needy I was. My list now is very short of those I need approval from.  If I am doing God’s will, no other approval is necessary.

I used to wish I could say “No”, but I felt guilty. I still get a twinge of doubt when I say no, but as long as I understand my reasonings, I can freely say that word now.

I wanted everyone who ever came in contact with me to like me.  It took a while but I have learned that is not going to happen. As long as I’m not liked because of my stands in life, I am good with their displeasure.

I used to think a big house, a nice car, clothes and things were the key to happiness. So very wrong was i, now I feel extreme gratitude for what I have and that makes it always more than enough.

I used to let life run over me.  I was always out of control. I never knew who I would be when I woke up. My emotions were all over the place. I listened to the world as to what it thought I needed to be happy.  Those things made me miserable.

My life is much different now. Not perfect as neither am I. Changing the focus off of me, placing it on God and letting go, has provided a peace I never imagined.

Letting go of societal ideals has allowed me to reevaluate my entire existence.  My priorities were incorrect and I was drowning in them.

What is my point?  Life would have been much easier and a lot less messy if I had learned these lessons before, but it didn’t happen. And forgiving the past is a huge game changer. But once your focus changes from that of the world to a life lived by the grace of God, along with His mercy, peace will overtake you and you will wonder why it took so long to see.

A saner and less dramatic life is achievable. My lessons may not be your lessons but being open to a personal relationship with Jesus, can bring about a world you never imagined.

I’m still new to the journey. I never had any peace in my life. I think I was born with anxiety. I wanted to just die many times. Jesus saw me in my need and lifted me up from that relentless world of anger, guilt and love of sin.  He lifted me up and dusted me off. Now we walk hand in hand through a life that is very difficult to maneuver.

So if you get tired of hearing this, I understand. But Jesus completely changed me and the life I was living. I would never want to go back.  My point is that if you are desperate for a change. It can happen. I’m nobody, but He saved me. He can save you too!  In fact, He is looking forward to meeting you no matter where you are.

By Lois Hewitt

Last night I gazed at the moon. Light in the darkness. It was a sight to see.  As does often, my mind began to wonder and wander as well.

So much in life is not cut and dry, so to speak.  The moon’s light illuminated where there was darkness. Not as the sun illuminates but did so in its own way.

Bad happens in life. No one leaves this place unscathed.  But if you allow it, the bad can bring about good. Some lessons can only be taught by that which is not good.

Criticism is often painful. Not something we prefer to hear but through those words great growth can occur. No matter the intent from which it was given, but through the power you give the words to amass change.

Jesus came to this realm as a man to show the way of love and tolerance. He preached on how to live in a new way. 

Along His journey here on earth, there was much pain, loss, anger and the ultimate violence. He came to cleanse all of mankind and was met with the most horrific and violent deaths.

Last night’s moon made me see that the world is not one way or another. Many times we must experience the duplicity of life in order to grow within it.

Many times I only see what I see.  With no knowledge of what’s beyond my vision. I must learn to open my mind to the light in the darkness.  The bad in the good. And the love in the hate.

That opening of the mind and the heart allows the soul to take in more knowledge, more compassion and more love. But you need both ends of the spectrum.

Luckily, the story of Jesus does not end with a death. The story goes on to glory as the badly beaten Jesus rises from the darkness of the tomb to be the light, a light that is so bright it will dull the sun, that shines over the whole world with the gift of forgiveness and salvation.

As Jesus lived in love and peace, He also came to shake things up.  To shine His light in the darkness.  Oh to live more like Him, that is the goal I aspire to. 

By Lois Hewitt

This morning I rose early to an outside temperature of 19 degrees. It was chilly to say the least. So I laid in bed under a very warm comforter and thought about a few things.

Thankful I was first and foremost.  Things, I do not possess like I used to.  But there is peace in my life without all the stuff I used to think I needed to live.  It is amazing how much you don’t need.  Thankful I am.

With my change in diet, my health is better. Not perfect, but it’s good. Thankful I am.

Simple is my life now. Drama, a thing of the past (for the most part anyway).  I used to crave the drama as it somehow justified my existence. No longer is it necessary.  Thankful I am.

So many blessings in God’s yes’s and no’s.  So many changes not only in latitudes but in attitudes (sorry I had to steal that line!).  My eyes open as is my heart. Thankful I am.

Thankful I am for my husband. A good man he is.  His faith falls on science and not on the spiritual.  This worries me so very much.  I hope he comes to know our Father who art in Heaven, that is my sincerest hope.  In the meantime we understand, without bitterness or anger, the other’s point of view.

We neither belittle or insult the other one’s beliefs. He allows my free expression of faith and I allow science to live in our home…even if I don’t understand science most of the time.  Differences of opinion yet peace prevails. Thankful I am.

Gratitude is my new go to.  Prayer is my new super power because of Who I pray to, not because anything I have done.  Faith is my new growing experience, as I used to put faith in things now I place it in God. 

As the time came closer to get up and start the day, I thought of all the ways life changes. All I could think was thankful I am!

By Lois Hewitt

Change.  It happens all the time.  Seasons change. Weather changes.  Jobs change.  Time changes.  It happens all around us every day.

Change is not always fun.  Sometimes it is only mildly frustrating and other times it hurts very badly. 

Why do things have to change?  Especially when we think it’s all going so good.  Complacency is the enemy of change. To be complacent is to be comfortable. To be comfortable, no matter how divine, is not generally a growth mode and we need to grow.

Don’t get me wrong….being comfortable is my preferred state of being. But when I am, I tend to not stretch myself or try anything new.  I have made hibernating an art form.

Today at work, I had to change my very comfortable and efficient routine. I have to use a co-workers computer that does not have my shortcuts and passwords, etc.  I was very upset because it took me all day to do what I usually do in half a day. Now I know after a while, this will become my new norm and comfort will return.  But for today, I don’t like change!

If you knew me ten or more years ago (if you did I’m sorry, you didn’t know the better me) you would recognize that I have changed. My entire life has changed. It was incredibly difficult but it was the best thing to happen in my life.

I am no stranger to change and I appreciate it, so why do I dread it?  It hurts.  It’s uncomfortable.  It’s scary.  It’s unsure. These are all things we as humans try to steer away from.  But things will change and better days are brought with it. 

I rest, however, in the fact that one thing never changes…Jesus.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

He died on the cross to wipe out our sins. That will never change.

He will do what is best for us, even if it’s not what we want.  That will never change.

He will be with us, only a prayer away, in all things. That will never change.

He will give us our daily bread, forgive our trespasses, deliver us from evil and always care for us.  That will never change.

The world is going to continue to change, not always for the better. People and jobs will change.  Fortunes will change. Health will change. But Jesus will never change.

Today I stand on the solid rock of Jesus knowing that whatever changes in my life, He never will. 

By Lois Hewitt

Life seems to always just be waiting around the corner with her foot extended so that she can trip you as yoh walk on by.

The other night I laid in bed praying to be more like Jesus.  I am struggling with my introvertness.  I feel as though my random acts of kindness are few and far between.

I tend to stay in my own head most of the time.  I hate to admit that I am fairly oblivious to the outside world much of the time.

Case in point. I am praying to be a more giving and attentive person.  I want to be a light unto the world because God has changed me.  So I’m at a local market yesterday picking up just a few things.

There are two check out lines.  One really fast and one really slow.  I picked the slow one because I was in no hurry. And, truthfully, I get anxious if I get rushed.

The older couple in line ahead of me had an extended conversation with the cashier about the price of make up, the weather and everything in between.  I really wasn’t bothered because I like to move at a slower pace anyway.

They finish their transaction and it’s my turn.  I go into efficiency mode. Empty my basket, get out my bag out of my purse and start packing my groceries.

The cashier mentions that the couple who were in front of me left a red pepper behind. My brain registered the issue, even looked at the couple by the front doors and I went back to packing my items.

I missed a very easy opportunity to help someone else. I could have run that little red pepper out to the couple and been back in plenty of time to finish packing my few items.  But the situation did not play out that way.

In fact, it wasn’t until I sat down in my car that I realized I missed a chance to be more like Jesus.  I could have done a small act of kindness that would not have changed the world but might have helped a couple have faith in humanity again. 

I was utterly despondent that God offered me the smallest of chances to be a better person and I dropped the ball.

I know it’s just a red pepper.  I know the act would not have made except the smallest of ripples in the ocean of life.  If I had run that pepper to the couple, I would have actually left my head and what I was doing to do something for someone else. 

After beating myself up all evening, I realized that I need to keep a keen eye open in the world around me.  Opportunities avail themselves all the time to do even the smallest thing for someone else.  I also need to quit over thinking the easy stuff.

Am I going to run into a bank that’s being robbed to save the day?  I doubt it.  Will I climb a high tree to save a kitten?  Since I’ve never climbed a tree, probably not. 

Jesus says greatest is he who will lay down his life for a friend. I want to be that person.  I really do but I don’t feel like I’m that person right now and it makes me sad.

My game plan is to start with the next red pepper-type situation and hopefully build up from there.

Life is difficult when you have built walls around yourself as an act of self-preservation.  Walking beyond those walls is foreign and unnatural.  But eventually we have to leave that safety net even for a small moment in time.  A moment that won’t save the world but may touch another in a way we may never know.

We all are used in different ways. Some are Billy Graham and some are not that. I’m not that but I can be more. I just have to keep my faith that Jesus will show me a better way. A way that benefits someone else once in a while.

Kindness is an underrated force in our universe. It has the power to drive lasting change.  It just needs to be spread, even if it is in the smallest of ways, like the size of a red pepper.

By Lois Hewitt

When someone mentions an apple, a certain image comes to mind.  The details may be different-red, green, sauce, juice or maybe pie-but the basic concept of an apple is the same.

What if someone said the word “success”, the basic concept of that word would be different for every person.  And the definition for each individual may change over time.

Plus there are many ways to define that term:

Here I go again…but when I was younger, success meant one thing.  Big house, nice car, adoration and all the things that go with that type of success.

Then I went through a phase where, to me, success was just about knowledge, artistic endeavors and culture.

Then it went back to big, bigger, biggest. 

Some movie stars are successful as are some musicians. Painters, sculptors and writers can have success.  Anyone good at anything has to possibility of what we may call commercial success.

There are many different definitions and ideals of success according to culture. But is the definition really that broad?

I’m no expert by any means. Back in my blog archives are a couple posts about my numerous and embarrassing failures. Now I am assuming that failure is the opposite of success.  That is how I have always seen it in my life.

I failed at the guitar and I failed at archery, therefore I could never be a success.  But is that really true?

Am I not more of a success at failing something than someone who never tried?  Could be, I guess.

In my older years, I have decided success is best defined for oneself by said person.  If I try to be a success by one person’s standards, I am more likely to be a failure.

So I have to determine for myself what the word means to me.  I have to give that word its power.

Today, I view success much differently. No longer is it about bigger or best.  It’s about character and integrity. It’s about how I use my life, even though I had a rough start. It’s about how I humble myself to God and quit taking credit.

Good works alone do not get you into Heaven.  Couple that with a faith that your relationship with God is based on His Word and you are heading right.

That, to me, is my success. The fact that I have doubted God on way too many occasions but found my way back to Him.  The fact that any good I do now is a reflection on Him and not my own goodness.

Trying to live a life that will make God pleased is my success in this life.  I may never get a book deal or a Bugatti and that’s fine with me.  On that day when Jesus greets me in Heaven and I hear that I was a good and faithful servant, I will know my life was a success.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, do not let anyone define your success. Success will burst forth from your soul and you will know when the path is the right one as long as you stay true.

By Lois Hewitt

Gratitude. There is a lot of discussion about gratitude these days. Being grateful is proven to decrease anxiety.  Being grateful improves overall health and so much more.

It is easy to be generically thankful.  I find my nightly prayer thanking God for shelter, food, clothes, job, etc.  The problem is its always the same.  Although those are the things that impact my life on a daily basis, there is so much more that I tend to leave off the list.

I’m also thankful for family, friends, good books, pleasant weather, safe travels, and a hundred other things I hardly ever verbalize.

What about the things you can’t see, hear, touch, feel or smell?

Like mercy and forgiveness. When Jesus walked this earth, His message was one of salvation through His blood.  And eternal life with Him and with the Father.

What about love and justice?  He spoke about loving your enemies and those who persecute you. 

What about grace?  The idea that God’s favor shines on me and I did absolutely nothing to merit it.

What about the difficult times, do they deserve gratitude?  Yes, they do.  The difficult times create in us a strong and deep dependence on God. Those times forge our character and give strength to our resolve.  They make us who we are.

Today’s world may not highly value integrity and character. Doing the right thing, for some, is subjective by the standards of today.  Some may even think character is an antiquated frame of mind.

I am sorry for them because those characteristics are the threads that bind a society and that make humans humane.  I am thankful for such things.

Today I am thankful for the comforts I enjoy but I am also thankful for the discomfort and the things that bring hurting for I know that every step through the fire brings me one step closer to being who I am meant to be.

My goal, although unattainable, is to be more like Jesus. What an example of perfection we have in Him.  I am thankful for all of His provisions for me, but also for the example He left us.  Not everyone will understand but that’s ok.  I want to please Him as I try to make my little moment in time a better place. That is where my true gratitude should fall.

By Lois Hewitt

The new year just keeps rolling along.  I decided to try something a little different in order to continue growing as a person. 

I used to write down everything I wanted to accomplish in a year and, foolishly, expected to do all of it right away.  This was inevitably followed by massive amounts of disappointment.

This year, I am going to spread the ideas I have for change over the entire year, in month sized bites. Each month, I will commit to a “do more” item and a “do less” item.  With the intent of having developed those items as habits by the months end.

For January, I plan to do less doom scrolling on the Internet and do more gratitude.  I wrote these goals in my planner along with one financial goal for the month lest I forget.

I want to do so much more this year, but I have found trying to do it all at once is not a recipe for success.

I started eating better and cooking from scratch slowly. Now I am in the third year of that change.  It was successful because I did not expect to be Jamie Oliver or Martha Stewart all in one day.  I rode the wave of change slowly, really learning about it as I went.  Now it’s second nature.

Growing, although an essential part of living, in and of itself is not an easy task.  It requires forethought and dedication. I think that’s why trying to do all your resolutions at once is a disaster because it is simply too exhausting.

The old adage goes…how do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.  Older age has not only brought me some wisdom but also an understanding of the importance of moderation.

My youth was full of excess and gluttony.  I wanted to drink everything all at once. I wanted to eat everything all at once. I wanted to spend everything all at once.  I wanted to change everything all at once.  I can tell you that is a horrible way to live. I knew no peace or joy.  I walked around like a failure all the time.  I was exhausted and defeated.

Moderation is a beautiful thing. It allows for a consistent and sustainable change.  When I was up to my neck in manic-depression, I found the manic times to be the most disturbing because there was no in between. Today moderation and intent are my life’s blood.

I am an example that change and growth are both possible. I say that not because I am special in any way but because I did it wrong for literally decades but finally found some clarity.

The path of change and growth does not end until the last breath is used.  So no matter my success, there is always more to do.  At least now, I am moving forward and so can you if you intently and meticulously strive for it. 

I gave up many times. Please do not give up.  Stop beating yourself up and take one step forward.  The size of the step matters not, just that it’s in the direction of forward. If I can make strides, you can too!

By Lois Hewitt

The chill of winter came overnight. Part of the week, I leave for work just after 6 am.  Which means now it’s dark and cold.

When I got into my car this morning, the temperature outside was 19 degrees. Please remember I lived most of my life in the Snow Belt. There were winters were 19 degrees was shorts weather.  But I ran away, fast, from those winters of sub-zero temps and feet of snow dropped in one event.

In the South, we still get a little winter but not like what I used to live with.

As I sat in my car, waiting for the thick ice on the window to melt (I refuse to buy an ice scraper), the car, for that brief moment, became all the world I could see.  I could not see outside and there was not much to see as it was dark.  My world got small and quiet.

No other people did I see. It was just me and a few small lights reflecting from the dashboard. Because it was so cold, I stayed in my own little world for quite some time.  Then slowly the windshield started to clear and my vision of the world grew.

No longer was it just me, but the neighbor also leaving for work, a man walking his dog and a few more houselights turned on as the world began to wake up.

Then all at once, my view was clear and I could see in front, in back and all around at my neighborhood. 

It made me think that so many times, we only see our small little world.  There is nothing wrong with that, as long as we also realize there is much more going on that we cannot see.

So it is with God.  Many times I only see my pain or my need or my situation.  In those times, I often forget that there are plans in play that I cannot see.  God’s plans very rarely reveal themselves in the immediate. There is often a time of waiting, a time of patience needed. 

I fell into despair for many years before God delivered me. I was sure He was ignoring me, if He even existed at all.  All I could feel was my mental illness and my anxiety and my pain. 

I had no idea where He was going to take me.  I would not have believed it, even if I had known.  The trip to here was a wild one with twists and turns never expected.  And as long as I have a breath to take, the journey isn’t over.

The next time I get to a place of smallness and I just can’t see further than just in front of me, I will remember the iced over window blocking my view and then it clearing to expand my view.

Sometimes you just have to scrape the window to see better.  God’s plans are epic and we have to have faith in them if we want to walk with Him.  I know the waiting is unbearable at times, but you never know when the windshield will clear showing you the road ahead.

I’m off to buy a scraper so that I can have a bigger view of the world around me.  Stay strong, my friend, God will not forsake His children!