By Lois Hewitt

As we get closer and closer to another year, I need to change my thinking. Not a resolution that will be forgotten the first time I am overbusy or overstressed. Not a plan to do something but something I absolutely need to do.

I have a “what if” personality.  What if I don’t remember to do something on my never-ending list of things to do?  What if I say or do the wrong thing?  What if I go outside with people and start to panic?  What if I run out of money, food, jobs…etc?  What if the our country implodes? What if…what if…what if…

This “what if” personality trait was once somewhat useful. When I was trying to find my way, I used those “what ifs” to help me decide paths and decisions.  I used that relentless mindset to help me gain more responsible traits. It made me grow up.  But now it is working against me.

My latest Bible study is about prayer and I am surprised at how much I did not know. One of the main topics in the study is faith. We must, if we are going to please God, have faith in Him…all in, no parts of our life should be without faith in God.  This is when my latest light bulb went on.

My “what if” mentality has really kept me from having a strong faith in God.  I did not realize it but I had faith but also kept my hands in the pie of my life thinking the control I (thought) I had was keeping me sane.

Well, that control kept me walking on eggshells in life and with God. Somehow I thought I could manipulate the outcomes in my life by worrying about them.  I thought my existence was a result of my manifesting worry over my life. Worse case scenarios rarely occur and I thought I was keeping the wolves at bay.

When you live in fight or flight mode, there is little room for faith. I could not see, hear, smell, taste or feel it so I could not allow myself to believe it fully.

Now with that said, I did/do have faith in God. I believe He is real and that His Son, Jesus, died for me and that Heaven is a real place. But it was in the every day life I just could not let go of my control aka worry.

When you don’t have faith in God, you basically are saying that the situations in your life are just too much for God. I have to keep control or I will spin out of control.  That is as backwards as any thinking.

My holding onto “what ifs” stole from me.  Stole my joy.  Stole my options.  Kept me from moving forward. And kept me at arms length from God. 

Funny thing, is of late, I thought I was getting my spiritual house in order. But I was still tiptoeing around with a pit in my stomach waiting for something bad to happen.  I lost my optimism, my joy and I become excessively overwhelmed.

So starting right now and as I head into the new year, my goal is to put the “what ifs” where they belong…in the trash.  I need to recalibrate my faith to be at the feet of God.  He has gotten me this far, not me.  He has protected me when my choices were frankly not safe.  He brought me to a place where I am learning and realizing. That is in Whom my faith should be.

The “what ifs” are a manipulation tactic by the evil one to keep you in your minds own prison. My minds prison sentence was beginning to look like a life sentence but I have been pardoned by the One who gives His children life abundantly.

The next time I speak of faith, my knowledge of it will be more complete and, hopefully, it will be my new mindset as I grow closer to God.