By Lois Hewitt

Okay, here is a follow up to my last post if anyone is interested. So this week I decided to go “all in” with God. Let go of my worry and fears and trust Him.  I need to have a deeper faith than what I have had…

The other night I had a long conversation with God. I explained my fears about letting go of my control and pointed out exactly what I am afraid of.

After my prayer, I fell into a really deep sleep.  I had some weirdo dream about a giant pizza and a bunch of neon lights. That’s all I remember. No idea what that meant.

I woke up yesterday and thought I would feel refreshed. Instead something happened to my left eye and it’s all wonky and my body is shaky.  I don’t feel sick but I don’t feel great and now my right eye is twitching.  And I’m full of doubt.

I asked God kindly if it would have been too much to ask for just one good day after my declaration.  Not one good day, I was deflated.

Then the small, still voice inside me asked if I still had faith.  Did my physical discomforts outweigh my spiritual growth?  Was I just going to go back to being lukewarm or was this time going to be victorious regardless of my comfort level?

I sighed and realized that at similar points like this in my past, when I did not get my way, when the road actually got rougher, I would automatically retreat back into my shell and start trying to control things again.

I decided this time would be different. I will stand firm in my faith that all things, not just the good things, work for my best.  I was never promised health always, money unboundingi  or anything meant to ease my life.

Being a Christian is hard work.  You see yourself much more critically.  You feel your sin more.  You grieve over the past, and have concerns for now and the future.  You worry about a world spinning out of control.

But placing your faith in God and the promises He gave His children in His Word ease the pain and suffering. Putting your faith in something bigger than yourself frees you from the worry because you know how it all ends (or really restarts). 

I decided to forego my comfort zone and trust the One who created all life.  There will be challenges that I’m not particularly anticipating but what good is faith if you never have to lean on it?

So today as I struggle with a few new things, I will stand firm in my faith and try not to complain too much.

Faith is not true faith if you never depend on it during times of need. I had wishful thinking, not all in faith.  I will stay strong only because He gives me the strength and I will be a Victor rather than a victim!

By Lois Hewitt

As we get closer and closer to another year, I need to change my thinking. Not a resolution that will be forgotten the first time I am overbusy or overstressed. Not a plan to do something but something I absolutely need to do.

I have a “what if” personality.  What if I don’t remember to do something on my never-ending list of things to do?  What if I say or do the wrong thing?  What if I go outside with people and start to panic?  What if I run out of money, food, jobs…etc?  What if the our country implodes? What if…what if…what if…

This “what if” personality trait was once somewhat useful. When I was trying to find my way, I used those “what ifs” to help me decide paths and decisions.  I used that relentless mindset to help me gain more responsible traits. It made me grow up.  But now it is working against me.

My latest Bible study is about prayer and I am surprised at how much I did not know. One of the main topics in the study is faith. We must, if we are going to please God, have faith in Him…all in, no parts of our life should be without faith in God.  This is when my latest light bulb went on.

My “what if” mentality has really kept me from having a strong faith in God.  I did not realize it but I had faith but also kept my hands in the pie of my life thinking the control I (thought) I had was keeping me sane.

Well, that control kept me walking on eggshells in life and with God. Somehow I thought I could manipulate the outcomes in my life by worrying about them.  I thought my existence was a result of my manifesting worry over my life. Worse case scenarios rarely occur and I thought I was keeping the wolves at bay.

When you live in fight or flight mode, there is little room for faith. I could not see, hear, smell, taste or feel it so I could not allow myself to believe it fully.

Now with that said, I did/do have faith in God. I believe He is real and that His Son, Jesus, died for me and that Heaven is a real place. But it was in the every day life I just could not let go of my control aka worry.

When you don’t have faith in God, you basically are saying that the situations in your life are just too much for God. I have to keep control or I will spin out of control.  That is as backwards as any thinking.

My holding onto “what ifs” stole from me.  Stole my joy.  Stole my options.  Kept me from moving forward. And kept me at arms length from God. 

Funny thing, is of late, I thought I was getting my spiritual house in order. But I was still tiptoeing around with a pit in my stomach waiting for something bad to happen.  I lost my optimism, my joy and I become excessively overwhelmed.

So starting right now and as I head into the new year, my goal is to put the “what ifs” where they belong…in the trash.  I need to recalibrate my faith to be at the feet of God.  He has gotten me this far, not me.  He has protected me when my choices were frankly not safe.  He brought me to a place where I am learning and realizing. That is in Whom my faith should be.

The “what ifs” are a manipulation tactic by the evil one to keep you in your minds own prison. My minds prison sentence was beginning to look like a life sentence but I have been pardoned by the One who gives His children life abundantly.

The next time I speak of faith, my knowledge of it will be more complete and, hopefully, it will be my new mindset as I grow closer to God.

By Lois Hewitt

And just like that Christmas is over. Done are all the decorations. Gone are the parties and get togethers. Thrown away is the wrapping paper. The leftovers have been eaten or frozen for another meal.  All the hoopla is done. All over in one 24 hour period.

When I was young I dreaded Christmas because I loved it so much. But I hated it more when it was over. As a child I would be depressed when the lights were taken down, the ornaments were boxed up and the silver tree taken down and returned to its dark slumber in the attic.  I was filled with such sadness.

I learned early on in life that all good things end.  For everything I ever looked forward to, I also anticipated its end. Many times this clouded the event itself because my thoughts were already over it.

Anticipatory grief it’s called. When you mourn the loss of something that will go away.  It usually is meant for those who grief someone’s passing that hasn’t passed yet.  As a young child,  I mourned my parents passing every time they were late getting home or when I did not know where they were. I anticipated and grieved the worst in every scenario. Then they would come home and I was relieved and exhausted at the same time.

Christmas was always an anticipated loss for me. I knew it would be over so I never really was able to enjoy it.  Much of life was that way for me. I’m not sure how the wiring in my brain works but I am pretty sure that there are a few wires not fully connected.

Today I see things a bit differently. Christmas is more than a day of lights, gifts and cookies. It is a day when we celebrate the greatest gift the world has ever received. The birth of Jesus. 

I realize now that the birth was only the beginning.  There was a life of teaching and leading by example. There was a lifetime of love and joy given. 

Then as we know from Easter, that life came to an end. Beaten and broken and hung on a cross, the human body passed. But three days later, the Spirit arose and that is something that will never end.

I see Christmas now as a beginning.  Yes, the flash and show ends every year but the meaning of it lasts long after the gifts are gone, long after the the calendar mores forward. Jesus does not go away. He is not put in a box stowed away for another year. He is alive today and will be tomorrow.

There is no anticipatory grief that can be associated with Jesus. He is not going anywhere, He already defeated death and He promises to be with His children always.

So if you are a little sad that the Christmas season for another year has passed, remember the true meaning of Christmas. There is no need to be sad for His children are forever cloaked in His perfect love. 

By Lois Hewitt

To all my friends and family,  may your Christmas be a merry one.  May you be filled with the love of the One we celebrate. May you re-see the beauty of the world.

He came to this earth to show the way of love, mercy and grace. His gift to the world is salvation and eternal life.

Not life without problems or consequence.  His gift on the cross allows us to be pure for the day we meet face to face, we will be held in His arms as His children.

The road can be tough but I promise you that you are never alone as long as you know Him.

My Christmas wish this year is that all my friends and family experience His love, mercy and grace.  Stop listening to the unending chatter of the world and bask in His peace. Look to Him in times of trouble and times of plenty.  Feel the gratitude even for the things that hurt. For all things are meant for our good.  I know it may not seem like it today but wait as His plan unfolds.

My wish for you is health during illness. Peace during uncertainty. Mercy and grace for missteps.  Redemption for our sins.

May your hearts be full of the love Jesus has for you. May His light and favor shine down upon you today and every day forth.

On a personal note, thank you to everyone who has read my words, overlooked the grammatical errors and misused words, and took a moment to encourage me. I can never express my gratitude. Thank you my friends.

I pray you grow closer to Jesus in 2024. As the world issues unravel, remember He is the Victor!

By Lois Hewitt

Back in the early 80s, I was in my early 20s and newly married (1st husband). Determined to put the reckless days of my youth behind me.  I wanted the life my friends had…the doting husband, a baby or two, family vacations, and a picket fence.  But the course of my life was not heading that way.

I would take the 30 minute ride to a big town to visit the closest Christian bookstore. I was desperate for advice on how to have that idealic life.  I would browse the Family section for hours. Nothing quite spoke to me.  I did eventually find a few books on infertility issues.  I grabbed them up and ran home to read how to change my life.

As I read them, I realized that even if we had the one thing in common, not much else was familiar to me.  But I plowed through determined to pray better, do better and whatever better so I could achieve my ideal life.

In the books I read about the struggles of infertility along with all they went through, at the end, all had gotten pregnant and got the life they so desperately wanted. So would I, I assumed myself.

I tried all the things they did but to no avail.  I thought I must not be doing the Christian stuff right.  Maybe I was undeserving because of my past.  I was just sure that life would to come, I just wasn’t working hard enough.

Along comes a divorce and a little later a new marriage (there are only two…lol).  This had to be the change I needed. But as the years came and went, a baby never did. 

If I couldn’t be good enough to deserve that life, I basically gave up. I switched gears and lived a life of reckless spending, eating and drinking.  I did spend some time mad at God but mostly ashamed of myself for yet another failure in my life. My failure count was ever growing.

Now is a different time for me. The best realization I could have ever come to was that each of our roads are different. My life was not guaranteed to end up like the lives in the Christian books I read or like I thought my friends lives were like or like anything I saw in movies.

Just because you do this or that, the outcome is not inevitable the way you envision it. Each of our lives is similar in certain ways but there is a uniqueness that is not duplicated. Our paths are our own and will not be like anyone else’s

Trying to be good and trying to live like someone else did not work I found.  Once I gave up the need for an ideal life I was able to understand that a real relationship with Jesus is what I needed. Not to get my wish granted but to change my life completely.  Gratitude replaced entitlement. Peace replaced chaos. Real love replaced fake love.  Forever joy replaced temporary happiness.

As I look back on the person I was, all I see is desperation.  I wanted an unrealistic thing.  I wanted someone else’s story instead of my own.

Giving up in that was the best thing that could have happened to me. Accepting God’s “no” to many of my requests was the game changer. My life has its own purpose. It has its own set of challenges and rewards. The same is true of yours, my friend.  We each have a different path, no one greater than another, but all individual.

One of my greatest gifts was the realization that I no longer had to conform to some preconceived notion of what my life needed to look like. My life today is nothing like I thought it would look like all those decades ago. Would I trade my life, my faith or who I am now?  Not for all the money in the world! 

Is my life all kittens and candy corn?  No, of course not.  Tough times come, insecurity comes, doubt comes but my true faith in God sustains me through the challenges and lifts me up to the mountain tops. Giving up on the ideal has allowed me to live a life better than I ever imagined.

By Lois Hewitt

Good vs evil. It’s the epic struggle of all time. I have always been drawn to the, for lack of a better term, anti-hero. The one who doesn’t intend on being the hero but is because of a strong and unwavering moral compass.

Last night I started watching the second season of Reacher. The character lives a simple life without many things, is a loner and does the right thing without even a second thought.  Other anti-heroes I adore are Walt Longmire, Raylan Givens and Dean Winchester. All are good in a very flawed sort of way but are selfless to the core.

I wonder why these types of characters resonate with so many people.  Is it because with them good always triumphs over evil?  The big, bad corporation falls to the ground in a blaze of righteousness.  The evil oppressor gets their due in a hail of justice. Yes, the victor is the good one.

These same heroes who take out the evildoers are also full of unrestrained compassion. Reacher saves a neglected dog.  Walt Longmire helps an injured horse. Dean Winchester is a sucker for the underdog. 

We, as a society, have always needed heroes. Ancient mythology is full of heroic characters going up against insurmountable odds. Fairy tales, old and new, are teeming with victors of the oppressed. And we love them and repeat the stories age to age.

We need to see right win over wrong. I think it is inherent in human DNA. Obviously, there are those who have rewired that genetic code.  For unfortunately good is not recognized without its counterpart of bad.  Just like the light that chases away the darkness, so is good vs. evil.

As much as I enjoy a story told of an anti-hero, I must recognize the greatest of all of them, Jesus.  He was so hated by the establishment and so loved by those who were (are) in need.  Jesus broke bread not with the high end church types, but with the sick, the criminal and the morally bankrupt.

Jesus knew His purpose. To heal the sick and infirmed. To give hope to the burdened. To give peace to the troubled. To give love to the lonely. His mission for His time on earth was one of love and preparation for His return. 

And return He will. He will make right all the wrongs. He will have His vengeance on the evil ones. His return will play out like any vengeance movie, but multiplied.

My love for Jesus started because He loved me first. He saved my from my evil nature. He comforted me when I cried and set me on the right path.  But now I see that He is more than that (which would be enough) but He is the Hero we long for and need to save us from an evil much bigger than we.

The anti-hero always has detractors and sceptics. Those who will come up with anything to discredit them but our anti- Hero  is unfazed by the negativity. Those who believe in the power of the Hero (no longer can He be characterized as anti) will stand firm for Him.

Like in any good episode, the Hero takes some beating, giving evil a sense of victory but it is short lived. When you feel defeated and oppressed and don’t know if you can go on, remember you have the greatest of all Heroes in your corner. Look to Jesus for victory and He will show you wonders never imagined.

As much as we love Walt, Raylan and Dean, Jesus is the only one worthy of our praise and adoration. He alone is the Hero we yearn for. He will not disappoint.

By Lois Hewitt

In the darkness and stillness of the night, after my body has had enough sleep, my eyes open and the cogs in my brain start turning.

This morning my thoughts went to a scene in The Chosen.  The scene where a large crowd of people came to Jesus for healing, for miracles.  I watched the scene unfold, not giving it much thought other than what was on the surface.

That was a few weeks ago and a few Bible study lessons ago.  This morning I realized the significance of the scene, one in which Jesus hardly appeared. The scene showed all the people who came for a miracle healing.

Would they have believed Jesus if not for the miracles?  Obviously we have an advantage in this age of, believe or not, of having heard of Jesus. In the first century things were different but the question is still the same, would they have believed in Jesus without the miracles?

Enter faith.  Faith is the belief in things not seen.  How could those first century people have faith in something as radical as Jesus?  How does faith fit into today’s world?

In retrospect, the scene almost seemed like a circus of sorts.  Come see the amazing Healer.  See for yourself the miracles.  But isn’t faith believing without seeing?

In my life, I have asked and begged Jesus to do “tricks” to get me out of jams and get things I wanted. Proud of that, I am not.  But my knowledge of faith was that of a baby. I could not possibly understand, at that time, the true meaning of faith.

In the last few years, I have grown in my faith and I have learned so much more.  I see how easy it is to just want to see the show of it. To wish/pray for things.  But it is so much more than that.

Let’s face facts.  The story of creation is way too big for most of us to comprehend. The Old Testament accounts are not of the world we know today.  If I am honest, sometimes I wonder if it can be true, then add forgiveness of sins and eternal life and my mind is blown.

So I guess as new Christians we need a little of that “miracle show” to believe but as we grow so does our real faith.  I cannot see my sin scorecard with all my sins erased but I do believe it to be so.  I cannot imagine eternal life but I do believe it will be.

That is the faith we are called to have. Believing in things not seen.  Just as my lungs and heart work, without my specific knowledge of said work, I believe they do.  I cannot fathom the power of God, it is too big for me.  I cannot physically see Him but I know He is there and that a life is coming that I also cannot comprehend.

My faith today no longer needs the side show.  My miracles, forgiveness and eternal life, though not seen have been given to me and all believers. 

I no longer need to see the miracles to believe in the One who does them.  That is the faith we are called to live.  The faith that says I don’t understand why this happened but I know it will be for Your will. The faith that simply says “thank You” and no other request.

God answers our prayers in His way for us and our true faith in Him is our way of Honoring His gifts.

By Lois Hewitt

I was sitting a work today just typing away when I had a flash of a thought of a person from my past, from a time that was not good at all.  I actually started to sweat and my heart pounded with fear at the thought of even seeing this person again.

It was surreal to say the least and I calmed myself down. Looked around to make sure no one saw me freaking out and just prayed for strength to forgive and move on.

After the moment had passed, I was left with thoughts about me, as often happens.  What was I like during the time of that relationship? How did I act?  What were the words I said?

I immediately felt bad for anyone who knew me “then”.  Those people are only left with a memory of me that is anything but flattering. I grasped at every straw I could find to figure out who I was.  My purpose unclear.  I tried this and I tried that. I was a feminist for a week.  I was a Buddhist for a week.  I walked around like a thug sometimes and an intellectual others. I had absolutely no clue.

So I’m sad for the people who do not know me as the calmer, less angry, self-aware, Christian me that I am today. But that’s okay.

Not everyone will be able to see the new and improved me or you.  Not everyone world approve anyway.  Some might even doubt the validity of the changes. Some might be resentful because they haven’t been able to progress. But that’s okay.

Each person’s journey is different. The timing is as individual as we are.  A lot of things happen between our birth and our physical passing. All the experiences are like musical notes in a very long and convoluted symphony.

Sure, there are entire decades I would love to burn and bury. The one that came to mind today being one of them.  But you cannot discard what was learned during that time, even if the knowledge came years later.

If you were to look in the mirror right this moment, what would you see?  I would see a face worn by life’s road. I would see tiredness and a bit of defeat. How about you?

Do you know what you should see?  A Victor.  Someone who has rode out the storms, someone who walked through the fires, and someone who is determined to not stay the same but to thrive and grow like a might oak tree. Slightly damaged but strong as ever.

You may have unpleasant flashes from a troubled past. We all actually do.  I’m sorry for that for you.  But those moments were used to form a much stronger person who has empathy and understanding beyond reason.  So many days I just want to hide and forget I even exist.

But I was given this life to serve a purpose, just like you are. Nothing is wasted in God’s world.  So if you just want to pull up the covers and call it a day…don’t!  The world needs you as you are today and who you will grow into tomorrow.

Don’t let those painful memories write your story any longer. If you are like me, those days have filled up too much of my story. Now it’s time for the triumphant chapter. The New Me Chapter.  You can do that, look up to God and rise up out of the ashes!!

We have got this!  Be strong my friend!

By Lois Hewitt

The world is a dark place. But… 

Jesus in our hearts is the light that shines through the darkness.

His compassion through us starts the healing of the world.

His love through us cares for the ones in need and the lonely.

His mercy through us starts forgiveness of ourselves and others which puts out angers flames.

His righteousness through us gives the strength and courage to stand up to injustices.

His integrity through us gives a strong sense of purpose and meaning through works.

Before Jesus was in my heart I only thought of me.  I only wanted more things.  I only wanted my pain to go away.  I was not who I knew I could be.

With Jesus in my heart and life I have a sense of bigger meaning and bigger scope. Life is more than just me and what I want.

As I always say, and will continue to say, Jesus took a broken life full of regrets and missteps and emptied it out.  Then He refilled it with His love, light, mercy, grace, righteousness and peace.  And the call to share those things with others. It is truly a wondrous thing!

By Lois Hewitt

Words. We all know so many. Good, encouraging, helpful and also devastating. Words in and of  themselves do not hold power, the power of words comes from how we feel about hearing them.

I have had a difficult time this week finding any worthy words to write.  I was uninspired. I felt a great many things this week but had no words to describe those things.

Then this morning I saw a video of a young person just yelling and swearing at a person speaking about Jesus. Her words were vile and so full of hate. She said things I would not even dare repeat. 

I took a moment to think of those words and how they made me feel.  The old me, would have probably out sworn her and would have made a bigger scene.  Anger issues and all.

The new and improved me thought about what Jesus would think of the words.  He would know exactly where those hateful words were coming from.   His compassion would be utmost. Although we are not to mock Him, He always sees our hearts. 

So how should these hurtful words impact me?  I have been struggling to be compassionate toward so many in this “new” world we live in.  I hear angry voices and see violent deeds everyday on my phone.  These things impact me deeply and sometimes I cannot see anything positive.

That’s human thinking. I give power to those words and actions. I make the deeds important. Jesus sees the pain in their hearts and their souls. His power comes not from anger but love.  That is our calling also.  We are not called to agree with the sin but we are called to have compassion for the sinner.

Lest we forget that we sin also. Jesus showed us compassion and we must do the same.  I cannot stand behind the vile words she said but I looked at her differently and saw her pain.

The most dangerous animal is one that is hurt. They may be capable of horrible things because their pain has the power.

I cannot change the world, although I would like to.  I cannot change one mind that does not want to change. But I can change the way the world holds my power. I no longer want the world to dictate to me how to feel and what I should do.  I look to Jesus for my power.

My impact on this world may not be much but it is a ripple and a ripple can start a bigger movement over time when combined with other ripples.  If I take away the negative power and allow my life to reflect one of Jesus where sin is not tolerated but the sinner is given up to Him in genuine prayer, then the ripple starts.

Words have power only if we give it to them. So it’s true with hurtful words we have heard. Those words only have power because we give it to them. Focus on the words of Jesus for He is the source of all power and righteousness.