By Lois Hewitt

Today is Thanksgiving and I had a plan for the day. I had a schedule for the day. I had traditions I wanted to follow today.

As I write this, I am literally sitting in my car doing the exact opposite of what I had planned. Things came up and I have to change the plans I made.

If I’m completely honest, I feel anger and bitterness welling up inside me. Do you ever feel like you do not ask much and the little you do is always a struggle? That’s me right now.

But my mind turns to the popular saying of a few years ago…what would Jesus do? I know in my heart He would help the ones in need (even if the need doesn’t seem that urgent from my perspective). He would not feel anger and bitterness like I do. He would not care for such trival things like cooking a pie or doing a load of laundry.

He came as the Son of God to be of service to others. That is our call too. Yes, our plans are important. Yes, our time is limited. But life will always throw a curveball and how we deal with it is the test of our character.

I tend to have high expectations for holidays, vacations and other times away from the regular work schedules. I plan, albeit unrealistically, too much. I want to much productivity. I have a solid plan that has no wiggle room. Then I’m asked to wiggle. And I melt down.

Expectations are a cruel master, are they not? No matter, we hardly ever life up to them. And when we don’t, we experience a wide array of negative emotions. Emotions that are based in human ways not God’s ways.

As I sit here in the car, I realize my entire life has revolved around my man made expectations for life. It’s no wonder I have experienced depression and anger for years. I was trying to be in control. It was my show and my rules. It was my circus.

That’s not what we are called to do. Our dependence, our expectations should be based on what God thinks we should be doing. He wants us to have homemade pie for Thanksgiving but if another need arises, we should happily and peacefully meet that need. The pie can wait.

I started writing this post to help me come down from the edge. And it clarified one big problem in my life. I need to unclench my grip on my figurative and literal day planner with all it expectations for today and the future. Let the death grip of planning loose a bit and give myself permission to not be in control of every single thing. It’s just an illusion anyway.

The anger and bitterness have subsided. I feel less stressed. What a wonderful reminder for me to keep my eyes on Him and not on myself.

We serve an amazing God who is in control of all things. I just mess up what I try to control. So I’m going to let up on my grip of things and leave it to Him.