By Lois Hewitt

Happy Saturday! The weekends are my favorite time. I get to work at my own pace (which is pretty slow now lol). I get to choose what to do or not to do. I just breathe.

This morning I have a pot of pinto beans cooking on the stove. The sheets are in the wash. Butter is softening for a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I won’t change out of my sleep in pants until Monday. A cup of tea is steeping right now.

The younger me would have thought that to be torture. Shopping or day drinking or both would have been on the agenda. Stuffing my face with a whole box of Little Debbie’s also would have been fit into the day’s activities.

Back then I was searching for something that I just could not find. I was complicating the process with things and activities. The most awful thing would have been to think…about the pain, the uncertainty, or the things done and not done.

Today, I know the secret. Live a life pleasing to God. That looks different to each person. My path today as an older person is much different than when I was younger. I did not know myself then. I bounced around from ideal to ideal. Always trying to be someone else. It was exhausting.

Today I know mostly who I am and live that as authentically as I can. Life is no longer weeks locked in the house in fear nor is it looking for a party. It is quiet and intentional.

Why do I speak about this so much? We live in a world that is shouting at us all the time. You need to buy this! Your house needs to look like this! This booze makes the party! Eat this and feel good again! Live this lifestyle and you will finally be happy! Oh the messages! And they are everywhere.

I use my story of mistakes and missteps to prove you can heal. You can get better. You can figure out your path no matter your age. Nothing that happens is wasted. It’s all learning.

My mental health got so bad, I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I was just a very angry robot. Here’s the part some won’t like….I re-found Jesus and I started to really heal. I started to want to live like Him. I don’t follow religion. I follow Jesus.

So what’s the point? Today I sit with my seemingly mundane tasks to do with the realization that mundane is what the world sees, I see my day as fulfilling and nourishing.

Should we all not seek that? Fulfilling, nourishing and intentional. This again looks different for everyone. But once you start being honest with yourself and stop looking to the world for validation and look to Jesus, the way gets clearer. The healing starts. Gratitude takes over.

I want desperately to be a beacon of hope. There is hope, mercy and forgiveness in the world today. You don’t have to feel bad all the time. I thought that was just how it was supposed to be. It is not how life was intended. All chocolate bars and fuzzy slippers. No. This life will never be perfect. But the peace and joy you have inside can be perfect. You just have to know where to look for it. Hint: look outside yourself and look to Heaven.