By Lois Hewitt

Bark. Bark.  Bark.  My neighbor’s dog barks incessantly throughout the day.  I’m home a lot because I have anxiety about going out. I also have issue with noise. So when this new dog appeared I started to fret about the barking.

At first I handled it ok.  But as the weekdays rolled into my precious weekend, my nerves started to get twitchy.  I began pacing and scratching my hands. Old behaviors from my depressed days.

Bark. Bark. Bark.  Then silence.  I thought someone had come to my rescue. As fast as it stopped, it started again.

I tried to rationalize that the dog was bored or lonely.  I tried to say it’s in a new place and might be scared. All to no avail.  I was getting angry.

Anger and I are old enemies. I hate my ability to go from zero to totally outraged in about 2 seconds. I am working on this because it is not who I want to be. I prayed for quiet and that did not happen so I prayed to learn something from this…

So I’m standing in my kitchen window watching this dog literally barking at nothing. My anxiety is starting to peak and it dawned on me.  This is nothing in the scale of problems. The world is spiraling out of control at an unprecedented rate.  Hatred is everywhere. God is public enemy #1 to many people. I needed to get a grip on myself, look outside myself and let it go.  And I was able to.

Many times in my life I have heard a resounding “No” from God.  Can I have a baby? No.  Can You get me out from under the mess I made of my life? No.  Can You just take me tonight because I don’t think I can handle another day?  No.  Can you make that dog stop barking?  No, my child, there is a lesson to learn in every struggle.

I hate lessons.  Mine seem to go on for decades. I guess I am slow to learn.  But in retrospect, I see the No’s were better than any yes could have been.  I needed to not have my way.  My way was digging me deeper and deeper into a hole I was having trouble getting out of until I gave it to God. Then the slow process of healing started. Today I can look in the mirror and not hate the reflection I see. 

So what did I learn from a barking dog?  It’s not always about me and my comfort level.  I can actually control my anger contrary to my previous belief.  I need to look around and appreciate what I have even if it’s not perfect. That’s a lot learned from a simple No to my request.

I get it, it hurts to not have things go the way you think they should. I hurts when your heart is set on something but it doesn’t happen.  It hurts to be lost wondering what to do next. It’s hard to not be in control.

In my life, I have seen the paths I choose. They ain’t pretty. So now I gladly go where God sends me. Many times that path is an answer No.  And I’m grateful because He always knows what is best.

I have learned that No is not a punishment. It is a true act of love.  I know it’s hard, my friend, but love can be tough especially when it removes you from a wrong path. Don’t give up.  I almost did but I am so glad I stuck around to see it through.