By Lois Hewitt

The other day I sat at work and just stopped for a moment. I sat in my cubicle and listened to all the noises. I heard music, talking, phones ringing, doors shutting, keyboards clicking, and the ever present, constant roar of traffic on the road outside the building. 

Many of my co-workers try to escape the neverending barrage of noise by putting in ear buds, for me that only replaces the noise and does not calm me. It made me think how noisy our world is today. Radios and TVs on constantly.  Horns blaring and engines revving usually in impatience.  It is hard to escape. 

I was wondering if that is why so many souls can’t find rest, mine included. I would think that our brains need to process all the noises so it can look for impending dangers.  That means our brains don’t ever turn off and we are always on alert.

It’s no wonder joy is lost, peace is frequently absent, and our stress hormones never rest.  Could the noise be a root cause for much of the anxiety in the world today?  As an introvert, I know noises can affect me in so many ways. All the noise makes my mind wander and creates mental clutter.  This detracts us from the peace we so desperately need to thrive. 

It’s no wonder God calls us to go into our rooms and close the door so we can pray in silence.  For it is in silence you are able to concentrate, breathe, relax and think.  Silence is necessary for prayer and necessary for our sanity. 

Obviously we cannot quiet the outside world, but we do have some control of what we listen to and what we watch.  I am going to be more aware of how the world’s noises affect me and try to counter it with prayerful silence.  I hope today you have a respite from the constant noise meant to keep you off balance. I hope today the silence renews your heart and fills your soul with peace.

By Lois Hewitt

I have lost my patience for impatient people. My drive home from work today was like a heat in a demolition derby. Horns honking, people flashing their lights, middle fingers flying and yelling out the car windows. The level of impatience is unprecedented. Anger rides on its coattails.

I get that life is very precarious right now. Stress is probably at an all time high. I used to be one of those people, hands death gripped to the steering wheel, f bombs flowing at a fairly consistent rate, heart racing, chest tight. I was an impatient, angry person for years. I lived on the edge of a heart attack most of my adult life.

Then I hit a figurative brick wall. I simply could not go on like that anymore. The realization hit me that all that blustering did not give me one positive thing in my life. The impatience did not solve money or health issues. It did not help with the overbooking of my schedule. It didn’t cook one single dinner or do one load of laundry. All that anger and angst gave me was unhappiness. I was miserable and today I see it in other people’s faces.

They somehow think they can control something if the car in front of them would just move. The car in front of them will be replaced with another car and another after that. The person in front of you at the grocery store is not responsible for your agony. But the more we take it out on others, the further we slide down the slippery slope to indifference. We will all eventually just stop caring. You get yelled at enough and you start to shut down. Where will empathy and kindness go if everyone stops caring? I cannot even imagine such a life, but unfortunately I think that could be our future.

Unless something gives and I do not have the answer to what that something is. So until then I will try to remove any indifference in my life and keep trying to be kind. I have to fight feeling like I just don’t care anymore. I can feel the well filling with anger but that’s not how I want to live. That’s not who I am anymore. So there is a daily fight to keep from being mowed over by the anger and indifference.

If you are struggling today, ask God for patience in an impatient world. Ask for caring in an uncaring world. If we all stay strong and carry His torch, we may see a difference in this world. And if we don’t, it will matter in eternity. Please do not let this world rob you of your peace, your love and your joy. These are gifts from God and His Son died for you to have them. Stay strong, my friend.

By Lois Hewitt

Blessed are the ineffective for they are trying but not getting anywhere.

Blessed are the anxious for they are too afraid to perform.

Blessed are the indecisive for they know not which way to turn.

Blessed are the introverts for human interactions are too exhausting.

Blessed are the overwhelmed for the way is too unclear.

Blessed are the tired for their life’s struggles are draining of energy.

Please know I mean not mockery to the Scriptures. I am just try to make a point. Please bear with me…

There are more I am sure but you get the picture. These are just a few a few of my “issues” and I am struggling with how effective I am as a Christian. And I sincerely doubt I am the only one.

I struggle with feeling ineffective because I do not know my true spiritual gift. I struggle with anxiety and that can make one paralyzed and ineffective (see above). I can be so indecisive at times it renders me ineffective and causes anxiety (also see above). My natural state of intorvertedness causes me to be extremely ineffective and full of anxiety while making me indecisive (again see above). All of the ineffectiveness, all of the anxiety and indecision make me feel overwhelmed and tired.

You see, it’s all woven together. I see that now. These things we feel, the hurdles we see are based on one issue or trauma stacked on top of another. They fit together like Lego blocks making a tower. Without resolution, the tower just gets taller and taller until you feel as if you can never overcome it.

Since the beginning of this year, I have been participating in a few in-depth Bible Study. I have been learning so much. Along with that, for myself, comes all these insecurities. It seems the more I learn and understand, the more I doubt my ability to be an effective Christian.

In my mind, it seems the more knowledge I gain, the better at spreading the Word I would be. That seems reasonable. The reality, again only for me, is that I feel less able to be God’s ambassador to the world then I was before all this knowledge.

This is perplexing me greatly. We live in times when so many are lost and we are called not necessarily to plow the harvest but plant a single seed. To be a light in the darkness.

After several weeks of debating with myself, I have reached a couple of conclusions. First, I think the more you learn, the more serious the information becomes. As a “baby Christian” the eternal gravity of it all is not in one’s awareness. As you grow and learn, the message becomes so much more important and it can feel like a weight on your shoulders.

Second, I have come to realize that who I am, who you are, was not created as a mistake. We are who we are through DNA and through experiences good and bad. Who we are is no surprise to God. It may be a surprise to us but not to Him.

We need to all realize not every Christian will be like the Apostles or even like Billy Graham or whomever you think is the ideal Christian. We are all not made the same. I have different talents then you and you have different talents then your Pastor and so on.

Third, there is no way to know just how effective you have been in this physical realm. Everyday we leave an imprint (size does not matter) on many lives. You will never know the influence you have had on a life. There are not a lot of alter calls in a normal life. No evidence that you made a difference.

But the world sees how you and I live. They watch how we deal with the messiness and pain in life. They may never know the small, silent prayer you prayed for them but that does not mean you haven’t touch their lives.

My main takeaway of my recent trip into self-doubt is I was created this way. Yes, I can improve through prayer and elbow grease but God knows me. I cannot be someone else, I can only be me. As me, I will not know until I get to that glorious place called Heaven, what differences I made on earth.

So for today, I will strive to be better and realize that I have limitations. I will pray without ceasing for my knowledge and understanding as well as for as many people as I can. And I will throw out all that self-doubt and angst because God does not want that for us. Jesus did not endure the horrendous cross so we can suffer in silence. He wants you to have joy in all things.

If you are doubting yourself today, please stop. You are a light in this world, in a way you may not even know. Keep striving to learn more and stay true to God’s path. You will be among the blessed. Blessed are those that love Jesus for they shine His light onto the world!

By Lois Hewitt

O how times have changed. The definition of luxury has a new meaning to me.  It used to mean matching this and that, shiny baubles, eating in restaurants I could not afford, and never being satisfied with what I had.
Today luxury means:
Enjoying a healthy home cooked meal.
A roof over my head and so much more.
Today my idea of luxury includes health, peace, loved ones and joy.  Luxury today means gratitude and a quiet, simple life.
Luxury is a heartfelt laugh.
Luxury is a sunny day but the rain is good too.
Luxury is a cup of tea or a cool glass of water.
It’s mostly about those things that money can’t buy.
These lessons I wish I had learned long ago. These lessons usually come hand in hand with age. 
The world defines luxury one way but I see it in a different way. I allowed myself to be fooled by the world for a very long time.  But gladly, my eyes now see what and, most importantly, who is important.
As long as I am able to draw a breathe, I will now seek gratitude for the good and the not so great because all of that forms the person you become. The saying goes I don’t want to be better than anyone, I just want to be a better me.

By Lois Hewitt

During breakfast this morning, the conversation with my husband eventually ended up with a rundown of each of our daily schedules. I always, and I’m not sure why, ask Mike what he is working on today. His answer is always the same…”I’m not sure. I’m working on it now.”

What do you mean you don’t know? How is that even possible?

I use a blank bullet journal and make my own planner. I found that premade planners do not work for me. I do a monthly calendar with bills and due dates, special events and monthly chores. My daily planner shows my work schedule, my chore list, my weekly menu, my daily special prayer list, water consumption, food journal and health checklist. It’s the same every week.

That may sound a bit regimented but I absolutely need that if I want to be productive. The only days that change are the weekend when I batch cook but the concept is the same.

That’s why the idea of not knowing where you are headed for the day is unfathomable to me.

A lot of my life has been a series of lost days with uncertain purpose with a few good and productive days sprinkled in. Quite a few years ago, I decided to create an ever-evolving way to eat right, clean right and live right. I always say without that constant reminders, I world never get anything done. It is brilliant for me and works very well.

What possibly could be the downsides to my method? Well, there are a few. Spontaneous, I am not. Mike lives in the moment and I live with structure. Sometimes I do wish for some spontaneity but it is not easy for me.

My rigid structure sometimes clashes with what God thinks I should be doing. I know He appreciates the work and productivity my system provides but He likes to shake things up. He does not want us to be so rigid that we cannot randomly jump into a situation that could provide spiritual assistance to another person.

These last couple of weeks have been a test for me. Seemingly random situations kept popping up. This forced me to deviate from my normal schedule. I know I was being sent a message. You cannot be so rigid that you cannot answer the call God sends you.

If I am going to be perfectly honest, and I always am, about my performance this last couple of weeks…i would give myself a hard C-. I did not respond to the unexpected changes very well. I felt stress and insecurity. I doubted my every move and every motive.

But I did learn a lesson. It is okay to have structure. It keeps many of us on the right road and heading in the right direction. But you have to have a little wiggle room for the unexpected happenings God sends your way.

While I am learning to live intently in order to alleviate chaos which renders me unable to function. I also have to learn to embrace those things that are unknown to me, those items not in my planner. We never know when the opportunity will rise up to serve God’s people. Needs are not usually a scheduled line item.

I am learning how to handle my quirks in a productive way, now I need to be a little more like Mike and not be so rigid. Just like the body needs flexibility to remain healthy, so does our spiritual body.

I remember many years ago reading about Jesus telling the disciples to leave their things and follow Him. That is a call for flexibility, isn’t it? It may be a bit extreme in today’s world, but it’s not off base.

Our lives require bills to be paid, chores to be done, meals to be prepared and work to be done. That is how it works. But our lives also require seeing God’s will for the things He wants us to do for our fellow man and, ultimately, for Him.

Balance is the answer, balance is not really in my vocabulary. But it needs to be. Balance between the expected and the unexpected. God has promised to be with us in each season, so there really is nothing to fear ( still working on that).

If you are struggling with this, know you are not alone. The One who created the universe is with you. He loves and cares for you. He was with me this week when I cried often that I could not do it, but He gave me the strength to do it and He gave me the rest to recover.

We just need to focus on Him and pray for His strength.

By Lois Hewitt

Does anybody know of any isolated caves for sale?  I have decided that I am done being an adult. The other adults don’t play nice. So I’m done. I am an alpha introvert and I feel like humanity, or lack of it, is suffocating me. 

I broke down in my car crying this afternoon and while I was ugly-faced crying I wondered if Jesus ever told the disciples “Look guys, I’m done.  A lot of these people aren’t nice.  Lots of them only want something from me.  I’m done.”  I don’t know that He said that but I do know Jesus did need to get away from the crowds on several occasions. I guess He may have temporarily gotten tired of being an adult, with far more important problems than me. 

What did He do when adulting was just too much? He went off alone to pray to the Father. He laid out all that was going on and prayed for strength. What a great example. It was great to see that this world can be so trying and it was great to see how He remedied the situation. Prayer. On your knees.  That is the answer.

I fell short today as I do every day.  I got angry and James 2 tells us we should be slow to anger. Anger leads us away from rightousness. I was quick to anger and may not have the best intentions in my heart. So I screamed that I was done and declared that I could no longer live like this.  Well, that was a bit overdramatic.  And also not true.

What I need to do is what Jesus did.  Time alone in prayer to the Father. It got Jesus through the darkest of times and it will see me through my impatience. 

We all get overwhelmed, it’s hard not to with all that’s going on but the solution in the time of Jesus is the same solution today. Prayer. On your knees. This world may be overwhelming to you my friend but it isn’t to God. Stay strong!

By Lois Hewitt

The other day I was struggling to explain my faith to a friend. Sometimes the words flow like a summer’s steam and other times not at all and are as barren as the desert floor. I was definitely in the desert.

I wanted to explain that the dark hours in our lives provide the deepest gratitude for the new dawn. I wanted to explain how having want is a blessing of gratitude for what you have. I wanted to explain that the wonderful days are only wonderful because of the days that aren’t. I want to explain the beauty of total dependence on God.

The problem I saw was that these truths in my life are the complete opposite of those of the world. The world says you are a success if your house is big, your car is fast, your clothes have designer labels and your bank account is overflowing. I have none of those things and yet feel my life is quite successful.

We are bombarded with ideals and concepts aimed at feeding egos and emotions. It’s now normal to talk about how many figures in your income, how diverse your portfolio and how many side hustles you have. Exotic vacations and outrageous jewelry are a goal to strive for.

Please do not misunderstand me, I know God does not mind the “good life” for His children. He promises us to overflow our cups. But if those things interfere with your relationship with Him, there is a problem.

Many spiritual doctrines today preach about manifesting what you want in life and then actively seeking those things. Is that a bad thing? Well yes because you are working with your own abilities and power to manifest those things.

For me, and I only know me, I do much better in life, I have more peace and joy in life, I have more gratitude in life and I have more to give in life if I have less. For me, and only me, I have learned to recognize the absolute need for dark times. For me if everyday was ponies and candy apples, I would be ungrateful and unhealthy.

So back to my conversation, how do I make a life with less seem even better than a life with excess? That day I could not make it sound better. I was ineffective at every turn.

Realizing that maybe it would just be better to cut my losses and move on, I explained one last truth in my life. I was really good at sinning. I would have been an Olympic contender in sinning, if there was such a thing. I knew all about greed, entitlement, excess and so much more. When I “had it all” I actually had nothing. I was an empty shell. When I lost it all, the worst that could happen according to the world, I gained everything. That was what I needed to say.

I was trying to discuss Theology and all I needed to say was the God saved me. All the other stuff is not important. God took a life that was as dry and lifeless as a desert floor and turned it into something full of grace, mercy, gratitude and purpose. I can never out talk anyone on Theological ideals but I can tell them about a God who took the lowest of the low and made them a child of God.

This is a difficult world we live in and there are so many who just want to discredit God. Nothing means more to them then to run Christians down. That’s what happens, look at how Jesus was treated.

So I realized that it is not necessary to know Theology. Words are important but living a Godly life is my best testimony. Even when I frequently stumble, God’s amazing Grace picks me up. That is true success. No other metric will do.

Yes, I prefer less. I don’t have a high status or a huge bank account. I know the sadness is part of the joy. It’s hard to verbalize in a world conditioned for more more more but a life worth living is truly the best success and that only comes from God.

By Lois Hewitt

Today I took the time to catch up on my prayer list. I took all the miscellaneous post-it-notes and little pieces of paper in my wallet and in my purse and I started a new, updated prayer list. My surprise was unbelievable. Never in my life have I had such a long list of people in need.

This is not a general, hope-all-is-well prayer list. There is some serious stuff going on. My heart broke for friends and family struggling with all manners of illnesses, the ones trying to deal with the loss of a loved one, a myriad of mental health issues and so much more. I, myself, have been struggling for weeks with high anxiety.

As I look around at this world we all live in, I see hated and strife. I see a lack of caring. I see those who want only their way. I see sick foods, sick buildings and sick air. It’s no wonder our bodies and minds are falling ill. No one ever promised that the human condition would be an easy one but this is the worst I can remember.

But today I saw the sweetest little bird outside on our porch with the most beautiful of songs. She was trying to make a nest in our Christmas tree (yes it’s still up…don’t judge me). She has no arms to gather straw and she has nothing that would seemingly make her life easier. Except for God. He promised to take care of the birds, the bears, the flowers and all living things. That’s how she can sing because she inherently knows she is taken care of.

The verse goes, shouldn’t we be of more value than the birds and flowers? Of course we are. We are God’s children and He is a father who loves His children. That love never equated to easy times all the time. But it does say He will be with us in our times of need.

I don’t know about you today, but I need to be one of God’s children. I’m tired and want to give up but He sent a little bird to remind me to sing today. He reminded me that He is taking care of things. I may not see it but that does not mean it’s not true. He has you in His arms today and every day my friend. Hang on tight and feel His love. It may be dark right now but I promise the sun, she isa comin’

Happy July 4th!  Today America celebrates its independance.  With all its troubles, this country is still great.

But today I realized that I never will declare independence from God. I shutter to think where I would be today without His love and protection.  I walked a pretty dark road for a long time. I did not necessarily feel God’s love for my shame hid me from His light. But when I finally realized He had been with me the whole time and saved me from horrors unimaginable, I declared my love and alliance to Him.  I know the concept is a difficult one to grasp but I have lived independent from Him and I have lived basking in His love and I will renounce my independence every day. 

I know so many people are hurting right now, and it may feel as though God has left us.  He has not!  He said in His Word that He would never leave or forsake us and He is always faithful. Hang into Him today!  He will be with you always my friend. I have seen Him work wonders in my small life.

He loves you!